On The Wings of a Songbird
by GuilelessAesthete
Summary: SEQUEL TO "TO KILL A SONGBIRD"! READ THAT BEFORE THIS! Sky's adventures with the Marauders continue but things get more dangerous for our Songbird. When the stakes get higher, the decisions get tougher. SBxOC JPxLE. Rated T for violence and language.
1. Meetings

It had been a week since I had gotten back to school from St. Mungo's. Generally, things have gotten back to normal. I was going to lessons, studying, and just generally going about my business. But things have changed around me significantly. The people that never even gave me a second glance in the halls would whisper behind their hands whenever they saw me coming. I felt sort of famous based on the way an entire room would go silent and look at me when I entered it, but it felt like the wrong kind of famous. People were just talking about me because I almost died, not because I didn't anything spectacular. But, for the most part, I just decided to grin and bear it. It was better than snapping at every person I came across.

One morning, I woke up a little late and I found that my friends, except Peter, were waiting for me in the common room. The reason for me being late? I had finally gotten some sleep. Since leaving St. Mungo's it has been hard for me to get decent sleep. I've been plagued with nightmares every night, and I was losing sleep because of it. I tried to keep the physical effects of this sleep deprivation under control, but it was getting harder as the dark circles grew darker. My friends and I walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast, which was uneventful. But after the meal, my group of friends and I walked out only to be stopped in the entrance hall by McGonagall.

"Professor Dumbledore needs to see the group of you in his office for a few minutes." she said quietly.

"I haven't even been back a week and I'm already being taken to Dumbledore." I said under my breath as we started to walk toward Dumbledore's office.

McGonagall led us all the way to the statue before saying the password and leading us up the stairs and through the doors. When we walked in, there were more people than just Dumbledore in his office. There was a man that looked suspiciously like Dumbledore, but without the broken nose, a man that looked like he had seen one too many battles, Hagrid, and a short little man that looked like he was carrying something illegal.

"Have you located Mr. Pettigrew, Minerva?" Dumbledore asked politely. She shook her head.

"Let's just start without him." The really beaten up man said.

Sirius pulled me a little bit closer as McGonagall shut the door.

"You probably are wondering why I brought you here." Dumbledore said, standing up.

"It crossed my mind a couple of times." James said casually.

Dumbledore smiled. "I've brought you here to introduce you to a few of the members of the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore said.

"The name is Moody, Alastor Moody." The beaten up man said.

We all nodded.

"You guys know me." Hagrid said with a chuckle.

"And me, of course." McGonagall said.

"My name is Mundungus Fletcher." The short man said, sticking his hand out to all of us.

He shook the boys' hands but kissed the back of mine and Lily's hands. James and Sirius kind of stepped in front of us at that point.

"And this is Aberforth, my brother." Dumbledore said.

Aberforth nodded at us. "Oh yeah, I know them. I've seen them sneaking around Hogsmeade one too many times for my liking." Aberforth said incredulously.

We kind of looked at our feet, guilty.

"I didn't just bring you up here to introduce you to other members. I also brought you up here to inform you of what your first task as Order members will be." Dumbledore said.

We all perked up. We haven't even been in the Order a week hours and we were already getting an assignment.

"Your first task will be training. You need to learn advanced spells that you might need somewhere along the line." Dumbledore said.

Our hopes were kind of dashed at that point. We already knew a lot of advanced stuff. We were animagi, for crying out loud.

"And one more thing, there are no secrets in the Order of the Phoenix. We need to know everything that you can do or have seen now, lest it be too late when we find out." Dumbledore continued.

James, Sirius, and I looked at each other. We were debating on telling him about our animagi. It was illegal and we knew that. But this seemed like something that Dumbledore needed to know about so we could use it on tasks. But then James almost imperceptibly shook his head once from side to side. I repeated the gesture but in an up and down motion. I understood that this was to remain our secret.

"Nothing that we can think of, sir." James said with a shrug.

Dumbledore nodded, and I thought he was going to press the issue, but he let it go.

"When do we start?" James asked almost sounded a little eager.

"Tomorrow." Dumbledore said as he sat down behind his desk.

"You're going to train every other day, including weekends in the Great Hall at midnight." Moody said gruffly.

We all looked at the man like he had literally gone and lost his mind right on the spot.

"Why so late?" I asked flabbergasted.

"The only people that should be awake at that time of the night should be teachers patrolling the halls. We don't want anyone to stumble on this and start any rumors that could get in the ears of the wrong people." Moody said, straightening up a little.

I glared at him and crossed my arms across my chest. But I quickly uncrossed them because the motion caused the still sensitive skin on my back to stretch painfully. That pain reminded me why I was here to begin with. The others grumbled incoherently but I just stayed silent.

"Well, you have your assignment. Now off to your lessons." Dumbledore said in his usual soft tone.

We all nodded and walked silently out of the office. But that silence didn't last long past the time we reached the bottom of the stairs that led to Dumbledore's office. Once we reached the floor of the castle, James exploded.

"How dare they? We don't need training! We need to be out in the real world, fighting!" he shouted, slamming his fist into his open palm.

The group of us was making our way back to the common room. We never had plans that included attending lessons, even before the little meeting.

"James, these aren't some slimy Slytherins we're dealing with here. These are adult dark wizards that have had a lot more experience with this kind of dueling." Lily said, sounding a little concerned.

"Yeah, Prongs. And this could be fun. We are going to be dueling legally and supervised. It's going to be a blast." Sirius said, putting his arm carefully around my shoulders and pulling my closer.

I winced a little at the added but I didn't say anything. My wince wasn't lost on James, but he didn't say anything to Sirius. We all headed back to the common room. James sat down on the sofa next to Lily. Remus sat in an arm chair and Sirius and I sat down on the other couch. My back was killing me, and I could almost feel my shirt sticking to my back. It was starting to hurt; I thought it might be my back bleeding.

"Tiger, can you help me with something in our room?" I asked, trying to sound casual.

She agreed and we walked up the stairs to our room. When we got there, Lily asked what I needed help with. I slowly peeled my shirt away from back, and I could feel it tugging it on my skin.

"Can you put some new bandages on my back? I feel like they're soaking through the old ones." I said through gritted teeth.

I didn't hear Lily say anything, she just removed the old bandages.

"Sirius was a nervous wreck without you, Sky." She said as she peeled away the second of the four bandages on my back.

"I could only imagine. I feel so terrible about the whole thing." I said, looking down at my lap. I was gently pulling my hair over my shoulder, trying to get it out of Lily's way.

"Don't blame yourself for what those slimy, filthy arses did to you. It wasn't like you were asking for it." Lily said with a sigh.

"But what if this was just training for them? What if I was just the beginning and they're going to be doing much worse soon?" I said, voicing my own fears to someone for the first time.

Lily didn't say anything, but just peeled off my last bandage.

"Well, they look good. You just have to be careful of what you do for a while until these last ones heal." Lily said kindly.

"I hope you plan on being a healer when we get out of here because we're going to need one." I said with a laugh.

Lily also laughed, but it was more of a hollow laugh.

"What's wrong Lils?" I asked turning slightly to look at her.

She had a few tears running down her cheeks.

"Lily." I said, turning all the way around.

"I'm just so glad you're okay. We all need you, and we didn't know what we would've done without you." Lily said, her voice cracking.

She put a hand up to her chin and held in a sob. I gathered her up against my shoulder, even though the movement of hugging her caused me a little bit of pain. We sat like that for a while before I pulled away from her. Lily had stopped crying by now, and she wiped away the remaining tears that still lingered on her face.

"You're my best friend, Sky." Lily said with a smile.

"Love you too Lily." I said with a laugh.

"Let's rebandage your back before one of the boys comes up looking for you." Lily said, pushing me a little to turn around.

I did so and she made quick of putting new bandages. After I put on a clean shirt, we went back down to the common to find that Remus and Sirius were gone. I gave James a questioning look as I sat down on the couch across from him.

"They went to get food for later when we don't go to dinner." He said simply, just staring at the fire.

I nodded but left it alone. I also stared at the fire and Lily pulled out a book from the bag she had left there.

"I'm going to go use the loo." Lily announced after a few minutes.

James and I nodded and we let her go. After the portrait hole had swung closed, James turned to look at me critically.

"Why did they do it?" he asked randomly.

I turned my gaze from the fire to look at James's fierce gaze. I knew that he wasn't angry at me, but he just looked like that when he was angry at anyone.

"Was it because we pulled pranks on them? If it was, why didn't they go after Sirius or I? We've done more to them than you. Why did they go after you?" James asked, raising his voice a little.

I sighed. I knew that I'd have to answer something like this sooner or later. I looked down in my lap.

"I don't think it had to do with the pranks, Prongs." I said sadly.

"Then why? Why you? Why are they trying to kill you?" James practically shouted at me.

He moved from his relatively casual sitting position on the couch to right at the edge of the cushion.

"To make an example out of me." I said, looking up at James with a strong gaze.

"An example?" James parroted, sitting back.

"I think they were trying to break me, because they figured that I was going to be the hardest to break. Just look at you guys; from what you've said, you guys could barely function when I was at death's door. So they were going to break me to prove that they could and then they would have come after you guys, and they probably would have done the same thing to you guys." I said flatly, my voice devoid of emotion.

James was quiet while he processed this information. "Is that why you decided to join the Order?" James asked softly, not looking at me.

"Not entirely, but it did have something to do with it." I admitted.

"I joined because of Lily. She was the first to say she would. I joined up right after her. I didn't want her in any danger, and this is the best way I could think of to make sure that the world is safe for her." James said, getting a sort of dreamy look in his eyes.

"Have you officially asked her out yet?" I asked, a smirk on my lips.

"No not yet, but I don't know if I should, now that we're going to be doing this thing together." James said, biting his lower lip.

"I think that's even more reason to do it." I said with a sigh.

I looked back at the fire and I didn't have to say anymore because Lily came back into the common room followed closely by Remus and Sirius, who came bearing food. We all decided to move up to the dorm room, because it felt a little more private than the open common room. When we got up there, I sat on Sirius's bed with him and the other boys sat on their respective beds while Lily sat in the armchair that had been in the room since we first pulled her into our fold. Sirius and Remus passed around a bottle of something that I couldn't figure out. James took a huge swing of the liquid and his face scrunched up when he swallowed. Lily took a small sip and passed the bottle over to me. That's when I read the label and figured out that it was firewhiskey. I took a swig and shook my head from the taste.

"How did you get that from the house elves?" I said with a chuckle, and I passed the bottle to Sirius who took the same sized swallow as James.

"Who said we got it from the house elves?" Remus asked back as he plucked the bottle out of the air as Sirius levitated it over to him. He put the bottle down and we just sat in silence.

"It doesn't feel real, does it?" James asked softly.

We all looked at him questioningly.

"We thought that we would just have normal lives after we graduated. But now we're being thrust into this conflict that we didn't even knew existed before today." He clarified.

"I think we always knew, we just couldn't figure out what it was that we were picking up on." Remus said, not much louder than James.

"It's kind of exciting, though." Sirius said.

We all looked at him. He had a strange glint in his eyes.

"Most people don't even know what is really going on. But we're going to know exactly what's going on, and we won't we surprised when something hits the papers." Sirius said, a little more seriously now.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"But we can't trust anyone anymore. We are the only people we can talk to. It's like we're outsiders." Lily said. She sounded a little heartbroken.

"But that's all we need. I'd rather have a few people that I can trust completely, than have a bunch of people that I only can trust on the surface." I said, squeezing Sirius's hand.

"That's because Mauraders stick together." James said, getting excited.

We all laughed a little and then passed the bottle around again. After an hour or so, Peter came up into the room, and we let him know what was going on. He seemed nervous and jumpy, and the others played it off to this new assignment. But I looked at him critically, not buying his excuses. I also saw that Remus was looking at Peter like I was, so I knew that I wasn't getting paranoid. Shortly after Peter came back, Lily and I decided that we needed our strength for the next night. We went to bed, but as I slept I couldn't shake the anxious feeling in my gut. I felt like I was being watched and it was hard to sleep. When I did fall asleep, I was haunted by nightmares that consisted of the faces of my attackers looking over me with evil grins on their faces.


	2. Talks

I woke early before my alarm the next day, and I showered and got dressed before Lily was even awake. After I was ready, I realized how early it actually was so I went down to the common room and I sat on one of the couches, trying not to fall asleep. I'm not sure how long I was actually down there because I just stared at the fire, my mind blank. I was sitting on one of the couches, hugging my legs and my chin resting on my knees. I almost nodded off, but I mostly just zoned out.

"Sky?" I heard someone say from the staircases.

I looked up and saw Remus standing in the arch by the boy's dorm.

"Hey Moony." I said, my voice a little more flat than I would have hoped.

"How did you sleep?" he asked as he moved over to the couch across from me.

"Alright when I could." I said with a sigh, looking at the fire again.

"Nightmares?" Remus asked.

I looked at him critically. "How did you know?" I asked suspiciously.

"I figured it would happen. No one expects you just to get over this like that." Remus said with a snap of his fingers.

I sighed and looked at the fire again. "Something has been bothering me." I said softly, still staring at the fire.

"I know. How did they find out about the ROR?" Remus said, almost like he was reading my mind.

I nodded slowly, hoping Remus would follow my suggestions.

"Sky, what really happened when you went looking for Peter on the train?" Remus asked, his voice almost a whisper.

"I found him in the same compartment as the people who attacked me." I said, matching his tone.

Remus sighed and I looked at him. He was looking at the fire like I had just been.

"When did you start to see something?" I asked.

Remus looked up at me, and I could see the guilt in his eyes. "Late last year. I'm a light sleeper, and I heard Peter sneaking out a lot. One night, I decided to follow him, and he met with those disgusting slimeballs. They caught me and threatened to expose my secret to the entire school if I told anyone." Remus said under his breath.

I almost couldn't hear him over the crackle of the fire, but I still did. I must have been getting some of my bird hearing. But I also heard someone coming down the boys' stairs. I looked over Remus's shoulder and he understood why I hadn't responded yet.

"Sirius and James don't need to know." I said under my breath, and Remus nodded almost imperceptibly.

I looked back to the fire as I heard the people that were coming down the stairs enter the common room. They weren't James and Sirius like I thought, but were just some random sixth years that were up really early.

"What time is it?" I asked Remus in a soft, casual voice.

He looked at his watch, and was almost shocked to see the time himself. "It's only quarter after five." He said with his eyebrows raised.

I nodded and looked back into the fire. No wonder no one was up this early; no one in their right minds would be. And that explained why Remus and I were up so early, we weren't in our right minds. I almost laughed at this thought, but I kept it in. Remus and I sat looking at the fire for a very long time. I was still hugging my legs, and resting my cheek on my knees. Remus sat with one leg tucked under him and he was leaning heavily on his arms that were cross on the arm of the couch. We didn't say anything to each other, which I enjoyed very much. I preferred the silence to talking, because I always had this feeling that when my friends were talking to me, they almost were pitying me and I didn't like that. I just wanted to forget about what happened in the ROR, but I knew that I never could. I would always have those scars on my back, and it would be a constant reminder of those events.

As Remus and I studied the fire, I could feel time slipping by, but I wasn't aware of the rate. It felt like only minutes when I heard James's and Sirius's voices coming down the boys' stairs, discussing something in hushed tones very intensely. When I heard them enter the common room, I glanced at Remus, who caught my gaze. We both looked over to where James and Sirius were, and saw that they were approaching us. Sirius plopped down on the couch next to me, and I thought he was going to put his arm around me again, but he didn't which I was secretly thankful for. James threw himself down on the couch next to Remus. He ran a hand through his hair, messing it up a little bit more than it naturally was. It was a habit I was used to, and expected out of him. Most of the time, he did it subconsciously when he was agitated or nervous. But sometimes he did it just to do it, and it used to irritate me, but I've gotten used to it.

"How long have you two been down here?" James asked softly.

Even though his voice wasn't really loud, it still was startling after the silence I had been in for so long.

"A while." I said simply, looking back to the fire.

"You worried about tonight?" Sirius asked, his voice concerned.

I had to think about when he meant for a couple seconds and then I remembered that we had Order training tonight. I had all but forgotten about it until just now. But now that Sirius brought it up, I was sort of worried about it. I didn't know what to expect and I was worried that it would put strain on my healing back and the last thing I wanted was to extend this healing process. But in response to Sirius's question, I just shrugged. He didn't say anything, which was nice. The four of us sat in silence for another minute or two, and it was a nice silence. It was just a silence that didn't need words to fill it.

But after a few more minutes, I heard rapid footsteps coming down the girls' stairs. I looked up at the arch and saw that Lily was practically running down the stairs. When she reached the bottom and saw that I was sitting on the couch with Sirius, James and Remus, I saw her visibly relax and let out a sigh of relief. I looked at her curiously, but she didn't seem to catch it. She just walked over casually and sat down between Remus and James. James's mood seemed to brighten by a thousand percent when Lily sat down, and I could see it in his face. He stretched and subtly put his arm around her shoulders. I smiled slightly to myself as she adjusted herself under his arm, getting closer to James as she did so. I saw his eyes brighten significantly, almost like he expected her to throw his arm off of her like she would have this time last year. I looked at Sirius and he had the same triumphant satisfaction in his eyes that I know I had.

"You gave me quite a shock this morning." She said after another moment of silence between the five of us.

I looked at her questioningly, waiting for her to go on.

"Usually I have to drag you out of bed kicking and screaming in the mornings. When you weren't in your bed, it sort of shocked me." Lily explained.

I nodded, realizing what she probably thought had happened. "I'll make sure to leave a note next time I wake up at five in the morning." I said with an ironic smile.

She rolled her eyes but laughed all the same.

"Should we go get breakfast?" she suggested casually.

We all agreed and stood up to go to breakfast. The boys and Lily grabbed their school bags, and it reminded me that I left mine in my room. I turned to go get it, but Lily looked at me with that mothering look she was so famous for and held out my school bag. I assumed that she had put everything in it for the classes I before break. We all walked out of the common room and down to the Great Hall together. James was walking close to Lily, but wasn't touching her. It was surprising but I let it go. Sirius was holding my hand, and I was gripping the strap of my messenger bag with the other. Remus was walking between James and Sirius, in the middle of the two couples. I almost felt bad for him, but I knew better than to push the girlfriend subject, because of his furry little problem.

We walked down to the Great Hall in silence, and when we got there, we were some of the only students in the room. It must have been early still, but there were more students trickling in behind our group, so it wasn't too early. We sat down in the middle of the Gryffindor table and started pulling food onto our plates. I picked at my food a little bit, and barely ate anything. A nervous feeling in the pit of my stomach was taking up most of the room, and I was full after only a few bites of toast.

"What's the matter, Songbird?" Sirius whispered in my ear.

I jumped a little, but looked at him all the same. He had a worried look in his eyes, and I knew that he had noticed that I wasn't eating. I shrugged again, and took another bite of toast, forcing myself to swallow. I felt like someone was staring at me, and I looked around, trying to figure out who it was. I noticed that the group of Slytherins was not at breakfast, which pleased me, but it didn't give me a whole lot of confidence. I looked around subtly again, and noticed that my feelings were not unfounded. I noticed that people from the other houses were glancing at me every once in a while, and were whispering behind hands to other people around them. I sighed and put my toast down, pulling my legs up to my chin again. It stretched the skin on my back painfully, but I pushed the pain away.

I saw Sirius looking around as well, and he noticed that people were staring and whispering as well. James noticed what Sirius was doing and then he looked around as well. His ears grew red as I saw the muscles in his jaw tighten. The people who had been glancing at me noticed that Sirius and James realized what they were doing and looked nervously down at their plates. I still had the feeling that I was being watched, but I smiled a little to myself over what Sirius and James had just done for me. I didn't even have to say what I was feeling, and they knew. It was nice to know that I had friends like that. I put my feet back on the floor, and picked up my abandoned slice of toast.

I leaned my head on Sirius's shoulder and took another bite of my toast. I could almost feel the smile on his face, even though I couldn't see it. I felt Sirius's lips brush the top of my head and plant a small kiss on my hairline, and my heart swelled a little with love. We finished breakfast in silence, realizing that we had to go to class. Almost simultaneously, we all stood up and walked out of the Great Hall together. Remus and I headed off to Arithmancy, while Sirius, James and Lily headed off to Transfiguration. I sighed a little after parting with Sirius, but Remus nudged my arm a little and held his arm out like a gentleman would to escort a lady. I laughed a little and took it as we headed off to our first lesson.

As I went through my lessons for that day, I realized how much work I had missed being absent for four days. I sighed, realizing how much work it was going to be to catch up. My first lesson alone had three long essays that I had to write and it only got worse from there. Because I had missed so much practical work in DADA, Cloud showed no mercy by assigning me two long essays to make up for the practical stuff. He knew I could do what he had been teaching, and could probably school the rest of the class in it, but he probably didn't want it to seem like I was getting special treatment because I was his sister. I figured that much out by the sympathetic look in his eyes when he assigned the essays. Slughorn was a little bit more relaxed, only giving me one relatively short essay to do on the history of a certain special ingredient, but the rest of my teachers were just terrible. Sirius informed me that they had been doing mostly practical stuff, and it was unfair what the teachers were doing to me. By the end of the day, I had about ten long essays I had to do in two weeks or less. Lily said she'd help me do some of them, but I would have to copy whatever she wrote in my own handwriting. It really didn't help because I still had to write the essay even if I didn't have to do the thinking involved with creating it.


	3. Attacked

Lily and I sat down in the common room at a table in the corner, working on my ridiculous essays together while James and Remus played wizard's chess while Sirius read a book. It was almost a strange sight to see Sirius seriously reading anything, but I realized that it was a book about pranks, so it wasn't all that strange. After about an hour spent in the bent over position, all the while the skin on my back stretched and painful, my back felt wet and sticky, and I knew I was bleeding through my shirt. I sighed, thinking of how ridiculous this was. Lily looked up at me as I sighed and watched as I arched my back, wincing while I did so. She nodded silently at the girls' stairs and I nodded at her. We stood up and walked out of the common room together. I felt Sirius's eyes on me, and I knew he was wondering where I was going, but I really didn't care at that point.

Lily and I reached our dorm room, and she helped me peel my shirt away from my back. I gasped a little in pain whenever I felt the scabs being pulled off of the wounds when my shirt came loose, and I heard Lily sigh when my shirt was finally off.

"Well, I think they're better, but it's hard to tell." She said, pushing on my shoulders slightly, making me sit down on one of the ottomans in the room.

She peeled off the bandages and I kept my squeaks of pain to myself as she pulled at the sensitive skin.

"Well, one is healed up, but there are still three more. I wish I knew the spell the doctors were using." Lily said, saying the last part almost to herself.

I kept my mouth shut, because I didn't know the spell either and I didn't want to make her feel any worse about not being able to speed this up. She cleaned the wounds of the dry blood that was there and put new bandages on. I looked at the clock on my bedside table and realized that it was about eleven at night.

"We have to go to training in less than an hour." I said sort of offhandedly.

Lily looked at my clock as well and she sighed. "Do you think we should change?" she asked, sort of hesitant.

She was still in her uniform skirt and her robes, and I was still in my skirt as well. I thought about it, and I considered what they were likely to try and have us do. All of my thoughts were things that would be embarrassing to do in a skirt. I looked at Lily with an ironic smile and nodded. I stood up off of the ottoman and went over to my wardrobe as Lily went over to hers. I pulled out a pair of comfortable jeans and a dark shirt, knowing that this might cause stress on my back and if I were to bleed, I didn't want people to notice. I dressed carefully, taking care not to put undue stress on my back. When I was finished, I put my hair up in a high, tight ponytail, just to make sure that it wouldn't fall in my face if I were to become too active. I looked over to Lily who was busy French braiding her hair into two plaits. She was dressed in a simple pair of jeans and green shirt. She looked really good, and I knew James would love it. I smiled at her choices and we both put on sneakers before walking down the girls' stairs again.

James, Sirius, and Remus looked at us as we walked back to our table and sat down. I smirked a little as James's jaw drop, but I didn't let Lily notice. Not that she would have noticed even if I had laughed out loud; she was too busy looking down at her papers, trying to hide the color that had appeared on her face.

"Not that I'm complaining, but why'd you guys change?" Sirius asked.

"We have training in about forty five minutes." I said, looking at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room.

Sirius, Remus, and James looked at the clock as well, and all of them jumped up and ran up the stairs to their dorm. Lily and I chuckled a little, but the laughter died quickly. We worked absently on my make-up assignments, but it was harder to concentrate now that we were getting nervous about our first training session. As we scribbled absently on our papers, we heard the portrait swing open. We looked up and saw Peter limping into the common room. As he came into the light, we saw that he had a black eye and he was cradling his arm against his chest. Lily and I jumped up and ran over to him.

"Oh, Pete what happened?" I asked as Lily and I helped him over to the couch.

"I was caught off guard. They got me as I was walking back to the common room. I was helping Professor Sprout in the greenhouses and we had gone over. I don't know how they got out." Peter said, groaning a little every now and then.

I looked him over again, and I saw that he had cuts on his knuckles and a cut on his lip. He must have tried to fight back. I don't know why they weren't using wands, but I didn't want to worry about that.

"Who was it Pete?" Lily asked.

I realized that I had jumped to conclusions about who attacked Peter, and I wasn't entirely sure I was right.

"The same group that got Sky." Peter said, his voice catching a little.

I looked at Peter with narrowed eyes. Last time I checked, he was pretty chummy with those guys. It was weird that they would turn on him now.

"Did they say why?" I asked, trying to keep the suspicion out of my voice.

I visibly saw Peter swallow a lump in his throat before he answered. "They were angry at me." Peter said, his voice so low that I could barely hear him.

"Why were they angry Peter?" Lily said.

Peter looked at me and I saw the guilt in his eyes. I stood up and took three steps back from him. Lily was looking at me like I had gone crazy. She was looking at Peter but Peter held eye contact with me. I could feel the disbelief in my face and I was glaring at Peter with all of the betrayal I could muster. My worst fears had been confirmed; Peter had shown those slimy monsters exactly where they could torture and kill me. They were angry that I had been found. My guess was that Peter had told them that no one could find me because they would disappear if they went in. And they were pissed that I was still alive. I looked at Peter and I tried to tell him to make up something because this was not the time or place to tell about his dirty little secret. Lily would be scarred and I could hear James, Sirius, and Remus coming down the stairs.

"They were angry that Sky is still alive, and they were taking it out on me. You guys have been in packs all day and I was alone and easy pickings." Peter said, his voice hoarse and soft.

Lily made a pitying noise and she whipped out her wand to start healing some of his cuts and bruises. Just as I suspected, James, Sirius, and Remus came bounding down the stairs, laughing about something. But their laughter was cut short when they saw Lily and Peter on the couch. James and Sirius were immediately furious and were demanding explanations. Lily was trying to calm them down, but was having little luck. Remus and I, however, were looking at each other. He was looking at me, trying to see if I could tell him what he feared the most. I nodded my head once ever so slightly, and I saw a dark look take over Remus's eyes. He was angry, alright, but he was angry at Peter. His eyes held a dark satisfaction as he stared at Peter on the couch. Peter locked eyes with Remus, and I saw Peter's eyes widen and he swallowed again. He realized that Remus had come to the same conclusion that I had and was scared at what Remus would say.

"Moony." I said firmly.

In that one word, I was trying to tell Remus what I had silently told Peter before he made up a reason for his attack. This was not the time or place to tell the others about Peter's double life. It wasn't our place to tell that secret either. Sirius and James looked from me to Remus, trying to figure out the exchange, but they let it go when we didn't say anything else and they couldn't figure out the tone.

"Are you okay?" James asked, turning back to Peter.

Lily was muttering under her breath, and I saw Peter's worst injuries healing under her magic.

"I'll be fine." Peter said, not looking at any of us.

Sirius looked from me to Peter several times, and I saw the rage building behind his eyes. I knew what he was thinking and I couldn't let him do that.

"Sirius, we have bigger and better things to worry about than them. That is a battle for another day." I said warningly.

Sirius looked at me, a little desperately. "Sky, they are going to keep going after us until they finally kill us. We have to get them before they get us." Sirius said, raising his voice a little.

I blinked a couple times and looked at Sirius, shocked. This was only the second time he had ever raised his voice to me in the entire time we had known each other, and I was sort of offended by it. I knew he wasn't angry at me, but usually he controlled his anger better and didn't take it out on me.

"This isn't the time. We need to get stronger in our fighting abilities, and then we can go after them." I said, keeping my head.

Usually I would have been up in arms, but I knew I needed to keep my cool right now. Sirius seemed to lose a little bit of steam, but his hands were still clenched in fists as his side.

"Songbird's right. They aren't going anywhere anytime soon. We can always get them another day." James said, seeing my logic.

He seemed to like my plan, and was a little excited by it.

"What about in the meantime? Are we just supposed to hide like cowards?" Sirius said, his voice back to normal volume but just as intense as before.

"We just travel together. Pete said they only went after him because he was alone. They would have gone after one of us but we traveled together all day." Lily said, her cooler head prevailing.

"What about going to the bathroom? We can't travel in groups forever." Sirius said. He was trying to rationalize attacking them now, but he was sinking fast.

"We just need to be on guard at all times." Lily said, and the tone of her voice said that the conversation was over.

Sirius sighed and threw himself down on the couch opposite of Peter and Lily.

"I guess I'm outvoted and even I'm not stupid enough to go after all of them on my own." Sirius said, defeated.

I smiled slightly at him and I looked at the grandfather clock again. We only had about ten minutes to get down to the Great Hall.

"We better get going before we're late." I said pointing it out to everyone.


	4. First Training

They all looked at the clock together and realized what time it was. We all walked out of the portrait hole together, and headed down to the Great Hall. James and Lily stood in the front, their wands lit to lead the way. Remus and Peter stood in the middle, Peter still limping a little bit. Sirius and I brought up the rear. We all had our wands drawn, not taking any chances.

"Has anyone thought about what we would tell a teacher if they were to find us?" I asked as we rounded a corner.

"We won't." James said casually from the front.

"How do you know that?" I asked incredulously.

I heard some parchment rustle and realized he was looking at the map to make sure we wouldn't run into any teachers. We reached the entrance hall with no problems, albeit we took several secret passages to make sure we weren't spotted. We were about to enter the Great Hall but James stopped the group with a silent hand.

"Dumbledore, Moody, and McGonnagal are in there. We don't know what to expect, so be ready." He whispered, taking on the leader's role like he liked to.

We all nodded and he cleared the map, folding it and sticking it in the large back pocket of his jeans. We all raised our wands, and I searched the minds of those inside. They were blocked expertly, but at least I confirmed that they were trying to hide something. James carefully opened the door and we walked in carefully.

"STUPEFY!" I heard someone shout.

"PROTEGO!" I shouted the tiniest moment later, sending up a shield charm over the group of us, blocking the stun.

We all turned our backs in, facing out and trying to scan the room. I was busying dueling Moody with Sirius, and he was beating the both of us with little effort. We were trying everything we had ever learned in our years at this school, but they were saying curses that I had never heard of. I was sending spells silently, trying to find a weakness. Moody was doing well, but Sirius and I were holding our own. We worked well together, and it almost seemed like we were thinking the same thing, because we would often send the same curse at Moody, doubling its impact. Moody staggered back once and I caught him off guard and I sent a quick disarming charm at him, and I saw his wand fly out of his hand. Sirius caught it mid air and I sent a stunning charm at Moody, finishing that opponent. We turned and saw that Lily was helping Remus fight Dumbledore and James was defending Peter against McGonnagal. Peter was without a wand, so I assumed that she had disarmed him and Peter's wand was laying somewhere in the crossfire.

"You help James." I said to Sirius and he nodded.

James alone was a difficult opponent, but Sirius and James together were an almost unstoppable force. I moved over to help Lily and Remus fight Dumbledore, and it was just in time too, because I saw Remus's wand go spinning out of his hand. I moved next to Lily and I fired a stunning spell at Dumbledore. He blocked my spell and Lily's spell, which came a few seconds after mine did. I was about to fire another spell at Dumbledore when I felt my wand spin out of my hand. I looked over and I saw that Moody was back up and had my wand in his hand.

"PADFOOT, COVER ME!" I yelled, turning and running at Moody.

I saw Remus's wand lying on the floor between me and Moody, and I rolled on the ground, picking it up and dodging a stunning spell at the same time. I continued to run at Moody, feeling Sirius's spell go past my head, and Moody was distracted by that and I managed to knock his feet out from under him. It wasn't that difficult, because one of his legs was false to begin with. I got my wand back and cast a spell to bind him.

"Stay." I said, like I was talking to a dog.

He looked at me with a strange look, and then I felt a disarming charm hit me because both my wand and Remus's wand went spinning out of my hand. I turned and saw that Dumbledore and McGonnagal had their wands pointed at me and Sirius, who was also unarmed. Lily, James, Remus, and Peter were backing up slowly toward Sirius and I, their hands in the air. I was bracing for impact when Dumbledore and McGonngal laughed a little and lowered their wands.

"Well, done. Very well done. That was better than we hoped for." Dumbledore said with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and lowered my hands. I winced a little bit, and I realized that I must have split open one of my cuts on that roll across the floor. I had to be careful with what I did until I was healed. They gave us back our wands and untied Moody. They conjured some chairs and sat us down right in front of the raised level where the staff table usually was. They sat down in their own chairs facing us.

"That was excellent. You all seemed to realize what was going on fast and evaluated the situation carefully and acted fast and together. Sirius and Sky were particularly amazing together, but you all seem to work well together. You are very skillful, more so than most your age." Dumbledore said.

We sat up a little straighter, and I knew everyone was feeling the same swell of pride that I was.

"But don't get too cocky. You still have things to improve on. You need to learn how to keep a hold of your wand." McGonnagal said, pointing at Peter first.

He sort of deflated a little bit, and I sort of bad for him. She was attacking him directly, but then I remembered what he has done, and I didn't feel so bad.

"Never leave your opponent stunned. It's either you kill them or you bind them and make sure they can get up again to kill you from behind." Moody said, turning on Sirius and me.

I felt my blood boil a little under his gaze, and I looked at Sirius to see that he was the same I was.

"You were distracted very easily whenever Miss. Evans was starting to lose ground. I'm positive that she can handle herself, so you need to figure out how to handle yourself." Dumbledore said to James.

I saw him blush, and I saw Lily blush and I wish I knew what that was about. I was still a little angry at Moody, but I was more curious about what happened with James and Lily.

"Mr. Lupin, you did fairly well and you handled yourself adequately, you just can't hesitate. It doesn't matter if your opponent is a Death Eater or if they are your best friend. You have to be able to fight them like your life depended on it, which it very well might in the future." Dumbledore said.

Remus nodded and looked at his lap. It looked like he knew that was his weakness, and it sort of killed him to hear someone say it and reveal it.

"Well, the lot of you get up. You've got a lot to learn." Moody said.

We were barely able to get on our feet before the chairs under us disappeared. Moody moved out into the middle of open floor and faced us. For the next two hours, we were forced to learn two new and very advanced defense spells. They were difficult and draining, even for us who were used to very advanced magic. We took a break after the second hour, and I laid flat on my stomach right under where I standing for the last two hours. I could almost feel the blood oozing from my back, and it was painful. It felt good to stretch out, and I almost fell asleep. Sirius wasn't helping me, either. He was playing with my hair as his sat next to me, almost as tired as I was. He was doing better than me at this, but I could tell that he was getting tired too.

After only a couple minutes, Moody made us stand up and I groaned. I put a hand on my back and arched my back a little bit before standing up. I wiped the sweat from my forehead and turned to face Moody, ready to fight some more.

"Songbird, is that blood on your forehead?" James asked confused.

I looked at my hand and I saw that there was a thin layer of blood on the places that I had touched my back with.

"I guess my cuts opened up again." I said, almost like it wasn't a big deal.

"Do you want to go to the hospital wing?" Dumbledore asked concerned.

"Albus! She needs to learn to fight with injuries." Moody said, almost like Dumbledore had personally insulted him.

My gaze snapped to him, and I felt my ears heat up like they were on fire. It wasn't I was dying, but he could have a little bit of sympathy. I sent a stunning curse at him without using my wand or saying anything, and it caught him completely off guard. It didn't knock him out, but he staggered back a few feet. He pulled out his wand and pointed it around, looking for his attacker, clearly not expecting that someone could attack without a wand AND without saying a word. I focused really hard and sent the spell we had been working on for two hours at him, subtly pointing my wand at him. I saw the invisible spell slide through the air, almost in slow motion and it hit Moody square in the back. He fell forward onto his knees and started throwing up blood. I blinked, trying to understand what had happened. Sure we had been working on the spell and firing them at sandbags, but no one had told us exactly what the spell was supposed to do. Moody had only told us that the dummy would burst into flames when we got it right.

All of my friends were looking at me like I had gone mad, but Dumbledore swept down from the platform and said some sort of complicated spell over Moody. He stopped throwing up and he stood up and turned to look at me. I expected for him to fight back and throw some even more horrible spell at me, but he started to laugh.

"Great work, Strife." He said with a chuckle.

Dumbledore was looking at me sternly but he had a sparkle in his eyes that confused me.

"I knew you could do it. You just had to get pissed enough to get it out of you." Moody said with a laugh.

I was assuming that he thought that him laughing off his lack of sympathy toward someone who's been out of St. Mungo's for less than a week. But he was mistaken. I continued to glare at him, and his smile slid off of his face. He cleared his throat and shifted his weight slightly.

"I think that we're done for tonight." Moody said after a moment of uncomfortable silence.

We all nodded and headed out of the Great Hall together. I was limping slightly from the pain in my back, and I could almost feel the blood trickling down my back and down my leg.

"Are you sure that you don't want to go to hospital wing?" Lily asked, turning back to me.

"I'll be fine." I said, brushing it off.

She looked at me skeptically but she left it alone.


	5. Nightmare

We walked relatively quickly back to the dorms and Sirius held me back while everyone else went up their respective stairs.

"I'm worried about you." Sirius said.

I looked at him critically, and he was being completely serious. I looked at him curiously, waiting for him to go on.

"You look like you haven't slept in days. You are still bleeding pretty badly. I almost lost you once; I don't want to go through that again." Sirius said looking me right in the eyes.

I sighed, knowing that I couldn't really argue with that logic. "Lily has been doing fine fixing me up. I'll go to the hospital wing when something comes up that she can't do or she doesn't feel comfortable doing." I said, trying to make Sirius feel better.

I tried to go up the girls' stairs again but Sirius gently held me back again. He was looking at me with that same look in his eyes.

"Lily told me that you haven't been sleeping well." He said softly.

I looked at the floor, sort of ashamed that I didn't hide that better.

"Don't be like that. I was noticing it first and I asked Lily if there was something you weren't telling me." Sirius said, obviously noticing how I reacted to his statement.

I didn't say anything, just too tired to care.

"I'm going to make sure that James doesn't seal the door from now on." Sirius said, like that was something significant.

To an eavesdropper, it really wasn't. But to me, I understood the subliminal message. Sirius was telling me that his bed would be open for me if I needed him. I smiled slightly as I looked into his eyes. He looked a little relieved as he understood that I got his meaning. He pulled me closer and pressed his lips gently to mine. I felt a warming sensation spread through my body, and it felt like I was a bar of chocolate that was left on a blacktop in the middle of August. But all too soon, Sirius pulled away and smiled at me. I smiled back and walked toward the girls' stairs. Sirius's hand slid down my arm and his fingers slid from mine as I moved away. I moved up the stairs at a steady rate and I smiled to myself. I loved that man so much. I reached my dorm and found Lily waiting anxiously for me. As soon as I had the door closed, she ordered me to turn around and take my shirt off so she could fix me up.

"I'm sorry about telling Sirius about your nightmares. He wouldn't leave me be until I told him what he wanted to know. He was so worried about you, and I felt like he needed to know anyway." Lily rambled as she whipped out her wand.

She started taking off the blood soaked bandages magically, and I didn't blame her. I could feel the blood oozing down my legs and back, and the cold trails they left behind gave me goose bumps.

"It's just one stubborn cut." Lily said after everything was cleared up and the bandages were done up.

She muttered some more to herself and I could feel a warm tingling spread across my back.

"Hopefully, you will be healed by the weekend, as long as you don't do anything to aggravate the cut." Lily said after a moment.

I looked at a clock and noticed that it was nearly three in the morning. I sighed, but it was quickly followed by a yawn. I didn't want to go to sleep, because I knew that I would be haunted by nightmares. But I knew I should at least try to sleep, because I was going to need to be awake to finish catching up on the work I owed. I changed my clothes, depositing the filthy ones into the hamper. I climbed into my bed as Lily shut off the lamp near her bed. As the room was plunged into darkness, I felt my anxiety grow. I closed my eyes, hoping sleep would come easy. But I wasn't that lucky. I laid there for I don't even know how long, my heart pounding with anxiety. I didn't want to sleep, because I would have nightmares, but I knew I had to. Every fiber of my body was shouting for rest, but my mind wouldn't let me fall asleep. After a long and terrible battle, my exhausted mind finally relented and let me fall asleep. But I was met with a terrible nightmare.

I was in that cold, black room surrounded by those monsters that tortured me. Sirius was on the ground next to me, and he was bleeding and writhing in pain. I heard their laughter as they tortured Sirius. I struggled to reach Sirius and stop those monsters, but it was like I was glued to the ground. I was screaming and crying, but they didn't stop. I heard someone begin to say the killing curse, but they never finished because I woke up from the nightmare screaming and crying.

I was panting and sobbing. I heard Lily wake up, but I was already throwing my blankets off of my legs, and I was sprinting out of the door. I ran down the stairs leading to my dorm and up the stairs to Sirius's dorm. I expected the door to be sealed, but Sirius held true to his promise, and I was able to get the door open with ease. It slammed open, and I heard several shouts of surprise. I ignored them and ran to Sirius's bed, where his curtains were drawn. I ripped them apart and I threw myself onto a very startled Sirius. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around me, and his arm put pressure on my back and it hurt. But I didn't care at that point. I was sobbing into Sirius's chest, relieved that it was only a dream and he was safe and sound.

"What's going on?" I heard James mutter sleepily.

Sirius pulled one hand away from me and I heard the door close a couple seconds later.

"It's just Songbird. Go back to sleep Prongs." Sirius said somberly.

I heard several beds squeak and a couple spells were muttered, but it was silent in the room very shortly after that.

"What's the matter, Sky?" Sirius whispered soothingly in my ear.

"I had a terrible dream. I was surrounded by those slimy bastards and they were torturing you and I couldn't do anything. And then someone tried to kill you. And then I woke up." I said rambling and crying at the same time.

Sirius held me tighter and kissed the top of my head. "I'm fine. There's nothing to be afraid of. I'll always be here." Sirius said softly into my ear.

He gently pulled me all the way onto the bed. I laid my head on his chest and sniffed quietly. His heartbeat was calming and soothing; it was almost like a steady reminder that I had nothing to be afraid of. I yawned and wiped the remaining tears from my eyes. Sirius was gently stroking my hair and it was starting to make me sleepy. I snuggled closer to Sirius, wrapping my arm around him tightly.

"I love you Sirius. So, so much." I muttered softly.

"I love you, Sky. More than words could ever say." Sirius said at that same volume.

I turned my face up and he was smiling at me. I stretched my neck up and gently pressed my lips to his. He put a hand under my chin and on the side of my face, holding me gently in the kiss. He pushed his lips harder against mine and my lips parted automatically. Sirius slipped his tongue into my mouth and our tongues started to battle for dominance. I moved up a little bit more so I could deepen my end of the kiss. I pulled away for air, but Sirius started kissing my neck. I moaned softly at the touch of his lips and I moved my head back to his mouth so we could kiss some more. Sirius moved his hand from the side of face and gently traced a line with the tips of his fingers down my arm and to my hips. I felt goose bumps rise on my arms and across my back where his fingers were. His hand came to rest right above the line of my pajama pants. His pinky and ring fingers were resting on my backside, but it felt right. Sirius moved his lips to my neck again, and his hands moved to the hem of my t-shirt. As he kissed my neck, his fingers traced patterns on my skin under my shirt, slowly moving higher and higher. I was so caught up in the moment, I didn't realize what was going on until my shirt was right below my bra line. I gasped and moved away from Sirius quickly. I quickly adjusted my shirt and looked at Sirius through a curtain of my hair. My face felt like it was on fire, so I figured that I was blushing rather profusely. Sirius was looking at me, confused and almost hurt.

"I'm sorry Sirius. I'm not ready for that yet." I said, almost in a whisper.

Sirius looked at a little put out but nodded all the same. He put his arms up and I laid back down on Sirius's chest. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"How is your back?" Sirius whispered to me.

"It's mostly healed except for one stubborn cut that keeps opening back up." I said, not much louder than him.

"Can I see?" Sirius asked.

I looked up at him. He was looking down at me curiously, almost like he was waiting for something.

"Yes, but not right now." I said.

"Why not?" Sirius asked, almost offended.

"It's not exactly pretty right now, and that motion involved with taking off my shirt hurts." I said, a little shorter in my tone than before.

"I don't care. You could go rolling around in mud then run through a chicken coop and I'd still think you are the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on." Sirius said very seriously.

I smiled at his statement and snuggled back into his chest.

"When the last one heals, I'll show you the scars." I said with a yawn.

Sirius sighed but didn't say anything. I felt a little bad about not letting Sirius see the scars, but it was sort of embarrassing to even have them in the first place. Sirius wrapped his arms a little tighter around me and I listened to the beating of his heart and it lulled me to sleep.

**A/N: Dear Reader, Okay, I promised myself I'd never do this, but I'm going to. I would REALLY appreciate some reviews. I'm not going to do anything like "I won't post unless I get 10 reviews" or anything like that, but I would like at least ONE review per chapter. And I'd like to hear from different people. And I'd like to hear something other than "update soon". While I appreciate the encouragement, it doesn't do a lot to help me improve my story. I want to hear what YOU want my story to become. I'm not saying that I'll use EVERY idea (because I know vaguely what I want to happen), but I might just use ones that I really like. So to recap, I would like at least ONE review per chapter from different people and I'd like constructive criticism, and possibly ideas. Humbly yours, Aramair. P.S. I'll be posting on a regular schedule of one chapter a week from now on. It'll be on Fridays.**


	6. First Spark

~James POV~

I was sleeping soundly after that ridiculous training session. It wasn't a deep sleep, because Sirius had insisted on leaving the door unlocked. He refused to say why, but I figured that it had something to do with Songbird. I was proved right when the door suddenly slammed open a couple hours after we had fallen asleep. I didn't see much of her face because she moved too fast. But from what I did see, Sky looking like she had just witnessed a murder or had seen a ghost, but not a friendly one. Before Sirius even realized what was going on, Sky threw herself on top of him and started bawling. Sirius told all of us to go to sleep, but I stayed awake to listen.

Sky told Sirius about the nightmare she had about him, and I clenched my fists as I listened. I wanted to kill them. But then Sky and Sirius weren't talking and there was some heavy breathing. I rolled my eyes, clearly understanding what was going on just a few feet from me. It had happened often enough for me to just be able to ignore it. However, I felt a little, slightly irrationally, voice in the back of my head telling me that they really shouldn't do that, and that Sirius was taking advantage of Sky's compromised emotional state. But I silenced that voice by reminding my subconscious that what Sirius did was none of my business. I was settling back down to sleep, but then suddenly, they stopped. Sky was telling Sirius she wasn't ready. It sort of shocked me to her that Sky was still a virgin. It was Sirius's MO to get a girl in bed within weeks of dating her. The fact that Sirius hadn't gotten Sky in bed in nearly two years was astounding. Maybe she was changing him for the better.

But then Sirius asked about her scars. She paused before answering and I detected an ever so subtle change in her tone when she did finally answer. It was offly similar to the one she had used when we had talked yesterday by the fire. It was a tone of loss and deep shame. Sky was so embarrassed and ashamed about what happened to her even though it wasn't her fault. I personally felt guilty that she had been taken in the first place.

That morning, Sirius had asked for the map for no real reason. I gave it to him, not really thinking about it. We were taking really boring notes, so I assumed he just wanted some entertainment. He opened it and flipped directly to the sixth floor. I rolled my eyes, realizing he was watching Songbird. This wasn't something new; he liked to watch her sleep at night, so it wasn't shocking that he wanted to watch her in her class too. Toward the end of class, he asked me for the cloak and I, of course, didn't give it to him. I wasn't going to give one of my prized possessions to him on a whim. He rolled his eyes at me, but I reminded him that he would see her in DADA. Sirius rolled his eyes again at me, but it was accompanied by a chuckle.

It was an exchange that I would regret until the day I died.

There wasn't an hour that went by that I didn't think about it and hate myself. I was always asking myself what if I had let Sirius leave early? Would those creeps have been able to grab her? A thousand what if's ran through my head a day, but I never let any of them out. I could tell Sirius remembered what had happened, but I couldn't tell how he felt about it. I wouldn't blame him if he put some blame on me. But I knew that he felt more guilt than all of us combined and that wasn't fair. He had no reason to feel guilty.

I sighed silently to myself, realizing that I wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep now. Sirius and Sky had fallen back asleep by now, so I sat up silently. I put on my slippers and slowly stood up, being super cautious of the one squeaky spring in my bed. I moved silently across the floor that I had long since memorized. I slipped silently down the stairs into the common room. The sun's first rays were streaming faintly into the room, filtered by the heavy curtains. I expected to be alone at this hour in the morning, but someone was sitting on one of the couches, facing away from me. But I didn't need to see the person's face; I could tell exactly who it was by her distinctive flaming red her.

"What are you doing up?" I asked as I moved across the soft carpeted floor.

She gasped and jumped when I spoke, clearly not expecting me, or anyone else for that matter, to disturb her. She didn't turn around, nor did she answer me. I saw her look down at her lap. I moved quickly around the couch and saw that she had books next to her, a book balanced carefully on one of her crossed legs with parchment on it. I guessed that her inkwell had been on her other leg, but I saw it on the floor and there was a black stain growing beneath it as the little bottle emptied. We both sort of stared at it for a while, but then I heard Lily sniff ever so quietly. I looked and saw that there were tears running down her face. They were thrown into sharp relief by the low firelight. I quickly moved some book and sat down next to her on the couch.

"What's wrong, Lil? Why are you doing homework at this ungodly hour?" I asked.

I pulled her close to me and she turned to cry into my shoulder. My heart felt like a hummingbird on a sugar high.

"I just feel so terrible. Sky woke up earlier screaming bloody murder and she ran out of the room. I followed her as best as I could, and when I saw her go up the other stairs, I figured she was going to Sirius." She said between little sobs.

"Yeah, she did." I said confirming her statement.

"Well, I went to go back upstairs, even though I wasn't tired anymore. But then I noticed that me and Sky had left our essays on the table. I figured that I should work a little more because I wasn't that tired." Lily went on, breaking out into more hysterical sobs at the end.

I wrapped my arms tighter and gently rocked her back and forth as she cried. I turned my head and laid my cheek softly on top of her silky head. I closed my eyes, and let myself take one long breath in, making sure to memorize this moment and engrave every detail in stone. Each moment like this seemed so precious all of a sudden, and I felt like I needed to make the most of every single one of them. Lily's sobs were starting to calm down now, and had slowed to the occasional sniffle. I squeezed my eyes a little tighter, holding onto the feelings tightly.

"What happened, James? How did we end up like this?" she said, barely audible.

"I don't know, Lils. Fate, destiny, bad luck." I said, matching her volume.

"I wish that things could go back to the way they were last year. Everything was so much easier then." Lily said.

Her voice held so much misery and despair. It made my heart ache to hear her so sad. I thought about what she said. This time last year, Lily wouldn't come near me with a five meter pole, let alone let me comfort her like this. I felt like I was closer to all of my friends now than I was this time last year. Even though we had much more responsibility and we had real, adult problems, it all seemed worth it.

"I don't." I said aloud.

Lily pulled away and sat up so to look me in the face.

"I don't want to go back. I don't want to be blind to what's going on. I don't want to lose the relationships I've made because of it." I said, feeling the intensity in the connection made by her emerald eyes and my hazel ones.

She didn't say anything to my comment, but she didn't look away either. I knew she felt what was happening between the two of us. I leaned forward and closed the space between us. I looked into her beautiful eyes, and they looked even brighter despite the fact that the fire was very close to dying in the hearth. We stayed locked at the eyes for a long while, unable to look away.

"Lily-" I started.

But before I could get more than her name out, Lily leaned forward and closed the remaining gap between us. She pressed her lips firmly against mine. My eyes snapped wide but closed quickly to enjoy yet another precious moment. Her lips were soft like satin and she tasted sweeter than any fruit or candy I've ever tasted. I could have sworn I heard fireworks, but it was probably just my imagination running away with me. I put a hand on the side of her face as she tried to pull away. I held her there and I memorized the details of Lily. The way her skin felt against mine, the way she tasted and how well her scent and taste combined to create something that was so exotic and so distinctly Lily.

But I couldn't hold her there for very long. She pulled away from me, but she didn't run away like I anticipated. We stayed there, looking at each other, not saying a word. I still had my hand on the side of her face, but I didn't move it. I knew that she was trying to figure it all out in her head. I wasn't trying to do any figuring. I was just trying to memorize everything so this wouldn't feel like a dream later.

"That wasn't so bad." She said after that long moment.

The sound of her voice caused me to jump slightly but I didn't have time to react because Lily knocked me back onto the couch and was on top of me, and we were kissing again. I put my hands respectfully on her hips, trying to keep my thoughts as clean as possible. The last thing I needed was to ruin this moment was an embarrassing bodily malfunction. Luckily for the both of us, she stopped kissing me and moved down to lay her head on my chest. I could feel the heat in my cheeks, but I laid my hands on the small of her back, and I gently played with the ends of her satin hair.

"What does this mean, James?" Lily asked through a yawn.

I couldn't help but mimic her gesture. "We'll figure it out in the morning." I said with a happy sigh.

I could almost hear Lily smile as she yawned again and shifted to get comfortable on my chest. I watched as her chest rose and fell, and within minutes, it slowed and evened out. At that point, I knew she had fallen asleep.

"I love you, Lily Evans." I breathed before letting my heavy eyes close and my mind slip into sleep.


	7. Dumbledore

~Dumbledore's POV~

I stood by the east facing window of my office, watching as the sun rose over the mountains. Alastor was sitting in a chair by my desk, making disgruntled huffs every so often. We were waiting for Minerva to return. She had gone to see why Sirius, Sky, James, Lily, Remus, and Peter were not in their morning lessons. I expected them to still be asleep, and my suspicions were confirmed when Minerva returned looking agitated.

"Well, like you expected Albus, all of those students were asleep. I had to break up a giggling mob in the common room. Lily Evans and James Potter were asleep together on one of the couches. The nerve of those students. And Sky Strife was in bed with Sirius Black. If they have the energy to philander, then they have the energy to be in their lessons." She said.

I let her go on and vent her anger a little bit more before I stopped her.

"Do you really think that was what they were doing?" I asked softly.

Minerva looked at me, clearly shocked by the question. "What else would they be doing? True, there were papers spread around Lily and James, but what else could Sky and Sirius be doing?" Minerva went on.

"They just recently went through a serious trauma, Minerva. I don't expect them to get over it easily. Especially not Sky. More likely than not, she's been having nightmares, and she most likely ran to Sirius for comfort. That seems a more likely scenario." I said as I slowly made my way over to my desk.

Minerva tried to respond, but she kept stopping herself mid-sentence.

"How do you think the students did, Alastor?" I asked, changing the subject.

"As well as can be expected. They have excellent instincts, I'll give them that. James Potter and Sirius Black were both absolutely brilliant. They both picked up the spell with more ease that I've seen out of trained Aurors. It's a damn shame that this war'll kill em." Alastor said.

"Don't be so cynical." Minerva said, shocked by the bold claim.

"Mark my words, this isn't going to be pretty. We've already been investigating twenty disappearances, both Muggle and wizard alike. We need to get more people involved with this as soon as possible. We need to organize. And those kids need to be better trained. All they could really do was block, stun, and disarm. They need more skills." Alastor said, thumping a fist on my desk for added emphasis every so often.

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. I steepled my fingers and studied the two of them. Alastor looked ready for a good fight, but Minerva looked nervous. I needed to talk with her alone.

"I've put out some feelers, and I've told everyone whom I've talked to that we're going to have a meeting in a month. We'll talk planning and organization then." I said, trying to put some finality in my tone.

Alastor wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"When do you expect those kids will be ready for real stuff? Not just this petty training. I do agree that they need it, but we need people out in the field, Albus." He said forcibly.

"Those young adults won't go into the field until they are ready. Not a moment sooner." I said, putting a sharp edge on my voice.

Moody stood up and limped over to the fireplace. "They're kids. They're going to need a lot of training, so don't expect me to go easy on them." He said, picking up a fistful of Floo Powder.

I let him Floo back to the Ministry without saying anything else. Minerva and I sat in silence for a while. I had a feeling she wanted to say something, but I was letting her mull exactly what that was in her head for a while. After an acceptable period of silence, I finally spoke.

"What seems to be troubling you?" I asked.

"I'm worried about those children. They are very young, and so untrained. Are you sure that you made the right choice by asking them to join before graduation?" Minerva blurted out, like she had been holding it in since she entered my office.

"I think that I asked them at the perfect time. They are getting the training here, where they are free to make mistakes and learn. I'd rather them be here than out doing what Alastor does. That, my dear Minerva, would have been handing them a death sentence." I said, trying to sound confident.

"But did you see all of the blood that Sky had coming from those wounds? Are you sure that getting her released early was the right thing?" Minerva asked.

"That group needs to learn to rely on each other. As the saying goes, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And I believe Sky's survival has strengthened the bond between them. And if Moody's training doesn't kill them, then it will definitely make them stronger. I've also asked Cloud to restart his personal training with Sky. I don't want her to lose her connection with him, either." I said.

"If you're sure, Albus. I just feel like we need to figure out a better way to teach them. They need their regular lessons, but these late night and lengthy training sessions are going to make them die of sleep deprivation." Minerva said as she stood up from her chair.

"I'm going to talk to the professors and see if some form of an alternative schedule can be arranged for them. They need to become nocturnal anyway." I said, trying to comfort Minerva a little more.

She sighed, but nodded all the same. She walked out of my office without another word. I sighed when I heard the door close at the bottom of the staircase leading to my office. I turned to my beloved Fawkes. He was looking at me strangely, but I couldn't quite place the expression.

"Do you think I've made a mistake, too, Fawkes?" I asked my pet softly.

The phoenix shook his feathers, and I saw a few of them fall into the growing pile below him. Without warning, he burst into flames, and the ashes fell into the pile of feathers on the bottom of the perch.

"Of course you do." I said with a sigh.

I stood up from my chair with a groan and walked back over to my eastern window. The sun had fully risen over the mountains, and it was shining brilliantly in the sky. I sighed, trying to decide if I had, indeed, made the right choices.


	8. Impossible

~Sky's POV~

When I started to become more aware of my surroundings again, I felt warm and I could hear gentle snoring near me. I smiled to myself because I knew that snoring belonged to Sirius. I liked the sound. It wasn't too obnoxious, but it was enough for me to tell that he was asleep. I smiled a little wider and shifted slightly to get more comfortable. My tiny shift caused Sirius to jerk awake. He was panting a little bit, but he calmed down when he realized I was still there.

"Go back to sleep." I whispered as I rolled on my side.

"What time do you think it is?" Sirius whispered back as he cuddled up behind me.

"Too early." I said with a little yawn.

Sirius chuckled a little but was quiet shortly after. But a few seconds later, Sirius sat bolt upright. I rolled over and looked up at him. He was looking around and he had a look on his face like he was listening for something. I looked at Sirius and started listening for whatever he was trying to hear. I heard the slow and steady breathing of the other guys, and I didn't sense anything out of the ordinary.

"What's wrong?" I asked confused.

"The fog horn is missing." Sirius muttered.

"What?" I said, completely confused.

"James. He snores louder than a fog horn." Sirius said, sounding concerned.

"He's probably eating, or maybe he was responsible and went to class." I said, groaning a little.

"James? Responsible? When pigs fly." Sirius snorted, throwing the blankets off of his legs.

He was about to get out of bed but stopped and did a double take at me. I looked at him confused, but then I looked down to where he was looking. I saw a bright red stain beneath me. I sighed, agitated. Of course this would happen. It was just my luck that my cut would start to bleed again.

"Maybe you should go see Madame Pomfrey." Sirius said, his voice and eyes sober.

I sighed again, getting irritated with people treating me like a fragile little doll.

"Lily has been doing a fantastic job fixing me up." I said, my tone a little shorter than I intended.

"Then why does it keep opening up?" Sirius asked, mimicking my tone perfectly.

"Because she just makes the cut scab over and if I do something, like stretching the skin a little too far, the scab will flake and I'll started to bleed again." I retorted quickly, raising my voice a little bit.

I sat up and quickly tossed the blankets off of my legs. I swung my legs over the edge and stood up. I tried to storm out of the room angrily but about half way to the door I had a sudden head rush and I collapsed to my knees, holding my head. I heard Sirius call my name and he rushed over to me. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and helped me to an awkward standing position so he could get an arm under my knees. He then lifted me and carried me down to the common room. The feeling of him walking down the spiral stairs didn't help my feeling of vertigo. I felt my face growing hot and I was swallowing a lump in my throat that was threatening to make an appearance.

When we reached the bottom of the stairs, Sirius noticed how sick I was looking and went to put me on the couch by the fireplace. But we saw that there were already two people occupying the couch. Sirius set me down on the couch opposite the one that was already occupied and both of us stared, aghast at the sight.

On the floor were piles of books surrounded by sheets of parchment, both rolled and unrolled. There were some quills and an ink bottle, but the bottle was overturned and its contents were creating a nasty stain on the carpet. But it wasn't the stuff around the people that were shocking, it was the people themselves. One person was on top of the other and they were covered with a plaid blanket. The one on the bottom, a boy, was snoring like a foghorn, but the girl with flaming red hair on top of him was sleeping soundly. Everything I was seeing was telling me that these two people were James Potter and Lily Evans, but my mind would not accept it.

I looked at Sirius and his jaw was dropped almost literally to his knees. He, like me, seemed not to be willing or able to comprehend what we were seeing. But at that present moment, I noticed that we were not alone in the common room. People were huddled in alcoves and corners and they were whispering and giggling. I subtly got Sirius's attention and I asked him with my eyes whether or not we should wake them up. Sirius looked at me confused so I nodded at the people that were whispering the most and then at James and Lily. I saw a look of comprehension spread over his face and he nodded. I started to get up but Sirius made me sit back down. I gave him a dirty look because I assumed he still thought I was dizzy. I wasn't feeling dizzy anymore, and it was sort of irritating for him to assume that.

Sirius got up cautiously and leaned across the space between the couches. Sirius tentatively reached out a hand, almost like he was afraid that one of them would wake up suddenly and bite him. He put his hand on James's shoulder and shook him gently. James gasped and started awake. He looked around a little wildly, his gaze landing on my face, then Sirius's face, and then finally on Lily's face, who was still asleep on his chest. His brows furrowed in confusion, but then I could tell that he was remembering whatever had happened between him and Lily, and I guessed it was something good based on the shade of red that his face was turning.

"You alright, Prongs?" Sirius whispered, failing sort of miserably at keeping the laughter out of his voice.

"Yeah, I think so. What time is it?" James responded his eyes still on Lily.

I looked at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room and my jaw dropped to my knees. It was nearly four in the afternoon.

"Almost four." I said, breathless.

Sirius looked too, and his expression mirrored mine. "I wonder why no one woke us up." Sirius muttered, sounding slightly confused.

I was about to respond when I heard my name whispered by a group behind me. I had opened my mouth, but then closed it and tilted my head so to hear the conversation better. It was hard to hear because Sirius and James were having a muttered conversation. But from what snippets I could gather, the two boys were speculating about why my shirt was covered in blood. They debated the rumors that were going around about what had happened. Apparently, people were speculating that Sirius, James, and I were being dumb and we were experimenting with spells and one of them backfired.

I could see the evidence for this rumor. Sirius and James were seen with me when I was taken to the hospital wing, and even though I don't remember what happened between passing out in that room and waking up in St. Mungo's, that seemed like a reasonable thing to say. But the part that seemed fishy to me was the part about us experimenting. We did some dumb things from time to time, I was perfectly willing to admit that, but we weren't that stupid. I sighed silently and gently shook my head. I normally would have turned around and ripped those boys a new one, but I decided to let it go. If I had to be perfectly honest with myself, every rumor that was going around couldn't possibly come close to the truth. What was the harm in letting them talk? That's how people got famous, or at the very least infamous.

Sirius had noticed my actions and looked at me. I just subtly nodded at the boys in the corner and just gave him a look that was sort of exasperated, but with the tiniest hint of annoyance. Sirius put two and two together and nodded understandingly. I knew that he didn't understand entirely, but was counting on me to fill him in later.

"Why did you guys come down here?" I heard James ask.

"It's-" I started to lie, but Sirius cut me off.

"Her back is still bleeding and we were just headed to the hospital wing." He muttered keeping his voice low enough for only us to hear.

I felt my ears heating up, slightly more than annoyed that Sirius felt he could just cut me off like that. James seemed to notice too, and was about to make a comment about it, but then Lily shifted on his chest and groaned a little. We all watched as she woke up and looked around, a look of utter confusion on her face. I saw as her face rapidly went through phases of thought, agitation, confusion, and then it landed on a vibrant pink shade of embarrassment as she realized exactly where she was located.

"What time is it?" Lily asked as she sat up. She was choosing to ignore the fact that James was under her and his face was tomato red.

"Almost half past four in the afternoon." I said, getting sort of sick of answering this question.

Lily nodded and got off of James completely. He sat up and the two moved to on opposite ends of the couch. James stared awkwardly at his lap, occasionally glancing up at Lily. She, however, was avoiding everyone's eyes. She had pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around her shins, effectively hiding her still bright pink face from view. Before I could ask them what had happened last night, Remus and Peter came sprinting down the stairs. They looked wildly around the common room, and when their eyes landed on Sirius and me, they visibly relaxed from their tense postures. Remus walked over and sat between Lily and James, oblivious to their embarrassment.

"The next time the two of you decide to disappear, leave a note, not bloody bed sheets." Remus said, exasperated.

Peter nodded eagerly in agreement as he sat down in one of the plush arm chairs. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

"Your back opened up again?" Lily said, forgetting her own problem in her distress for me.

"It's no big deal." I said, not even bothering to keep the irritated edge off of my voice.

"They were supposed to be healed by now." James said in a reprimanding tone.

"Tell me about it." I muttered sarcastically.

"We were just on our way to the hospital wing." Sirius said before I could say anything else.

"Lily can fix-"

"No I can't. I've tried my best and it didn't work. You need to go see Pomfrey." Lily said cutting me off.

I looked at her, astonished. The Lily I knew would never admit defeat, never admit that she couldn't do something. This girl who I found asleep with James Potter was completely new and foreign to me.

"You see? Now we can go." Sirius said triumphantly, rising to his feet.

He turned and offered his hand to me. I looked at Sirius sternly before getting off of the couch without his help.


	9. Healing

Sirius and I walked to the hospital wing in stony silence. I was not happy with the way he had been treating me. It almost felt like he was handling me like one would handle priceless china: soft hands, cradled arms, and protective words. I did not like it. I was used to Sirius treating me like someone who challenged him and someone he treated like an equal. Now he was treating me like I would shatter into a million tiny pieces at any given moment. I didn't want to be coddled. I wanted to be respected. Sirius tried several times to put his arm around my shoulders or hold my hand, but I moved away whenever he tired.

By the time we reached the hospital wing, Sirius's face was etched deep with lines of worry and anger. Madame Pomfrey came scurrying out of her office and set to work right away without even bothering to ask what was wrong with me. She shooed me to a bed behind a screen, and Sirius sat on the bed on the other side of the screen. I was ordered to remove my shirt and the nurse clucked disapprovingly as she inspected the damage.

"I'm assuming that your friend, Miss. Evans, tried to heal these? Well, she did as well as any seventeen-year-old could do. I'm glad you came to me; you could have lost a lot more blood." Pomfrey muttered, almost disapprovingly.

"Can you heal them permanently?" Sirius asked loudly.

"I can see that only one is still open, despite what the healers did. These cuts were made by very dark magic, so I'm even surprised that so many were healed by magic. Then again, the ones doing the dark magic were children, so I doubt they were doing it right. I doubt anything I try as far as spells or potions go would do much good." The nurse rambled softly, completely ignoring Sirius.

The entire time she was talking, she had been using a warm cloth to wipe the blood away. I was looking at Sirius's shoes under the screen, knowing he was probably looking at where my face would be through the screen.

"Can you fix her?" Sirius asked slowly, his voice more impatient and louder than before.

Pomfrey jumped slightly, obviously forgetting Sirius was there.

"Oh, of course I can. I'll just have to use some Muggle methods." Pomfrey said a little too causally.

"Muggle methods?" I asked quickly, and I couldn't help but notice the slightly hysterical edge on my voice.

"Just stitches. They'll keep the cut closed and let it heal. It won't hurt, I promise. I may not be able to heal them with magic but I can make them numb with magic." The nurse said, almost like I was being unreasonable.

I rolled my eyes, but said nothing. It was silent between Sirius and me the entire time I was being fixed. The nurse rambled on about random things, trying to distract me. The effort was appreciated, but not necessary. I didn't feel a thing she was doing. Several minutes later, she declared that she was done. As I put my shirt back on, she told me to take it easy and not to do anything even remotely strenuous for at least two weeks. I gave non-committal nods as she lectured but eventually she let me go.

I walked out to find Sirius on his feet waiting for me. Sirius and I headed out of the Hospital Wing back to the common room. I wanted to change out of my bloody shirt badly. I was grateful that lessons were over and most people were in their common rooms so they couldn't stare at the stain on my back. I was walking fast, almost jogging, and Sirius was having a little bit of trouble keeping up with me. But, when we were almost to the portrait hole, Sirius grabbed my hand and pulled me behind a tapestry and into a little alcove. It was almost instant blackness, but I could see a sliver of his face, including one of his steely eyes.

"Something is wrong." Sirius said.

It wasn't a question; he knew it and wasn't going to even try to let me deny it. I looked down at his feet, unable to look him in the eye.

"You've stopped letting me in. This is the first time since I've met you that I can't tell what you're thinking." Sirius said.

His voice was low and he felt so close to me. It wasn't just the small space we were in; his entire focus was on me, and it was like I was under a hot spotlight. I didn't like it.

"Maybe that's a good thing." I whispered, starting to get a little defensive.

"What is the matter with you?" Sirius asked, his voice a little hurt.

"Nothing besides the usual." I said with a dismissive shrug.

"You wouldn't have come running to me if nothing besides the usual was wrong." Sirius said, his voice like cold steel.

"Now you're going to hold that against me." I said, rolling my eyes.

"No, I'm just not convinced." Sirius said, his voice revealing his frustration.

"I just don't appreciate being treated like a thing," I spat the word out like it left a bad taste in my mouth. "that's going to break in a million pieces with the smallest bump."

My voice was just as cold as his. Sirius sighed and pulled me into him.

"I know you're not going to break. I don't think you ever could, even if I tried." Sirius said.

I sniffed, swallowing a lump that was forming in my throat. I could think of one thing that could break me, but I was never going to say it out loud, not even to Sirius. Sirius rubbed my newly healed back gently, and kissed the top of my head.

"I'm not going to lose you, no matter what. And forgive me for trying to make sure of that. I may have gone about it a bit wrong, but I know now that I have to treat you like the same old Songbird if I want to keep you." Sirius whispered.

I smiled and let a tear run down my cheek. It wasn't a sad tear, but a very happy tear. It was moments like this that I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, like I had the entire world in my arms, and that was all I ever needed. I tilted my head up and saw that under the sliver of eyes, the corner of his mouth was raised in a smile. I craned my head up and he met me halfway in a lovely kiss. It wasn't as passionate as some kisses we've shared, but it was full of as much love as all of the previous ones combined. It was a relatively short kiss, however, because something from Sirius's pocket was yelling his name. We broke apart and Sirius pulled out the two-way mirror. James's face was in it and it had a strange background.

"What's up Prongs?" Sirius asked, hiding his irritation.

"McGonagall is here. She says she needs you guys." James said, a little hesitant.

"We'll be right there." Sirius said.

"Was I interrupting something?" James asked in the same hesitant voice.

"Cheeky bastard." Sirius said to James before shoving the mirror back in his pocket.

I giggled a little at the exchange; that was just like James. He always seemed to interrupt moments between Sirius and me. We both smiled and kissed each other one more time before stepping out from behind the tapestry and going to the common room.


	10. A Few Changes

When Sirius and I reached the common room, the scene was very similar to how we left it. The rest of our group was still sitting on the couches, James and Lily kept glancing at each other nervously and Remus and Peter were oblivious. People were still working at the tables around the edges of the room, but they had stopped pointing and giggling. The only major change was the addition of a stern McGonagall. She was standing near the fireplace, almost as still as a statue. When she saw that Sirius and I had entered, she made a little gasp of relief.

"Oh good. You're back. Madame Pomfrey fixed you right up, I assume?" she said in a clearly forced attempt at small talk.

I nodded, my face scrunched in confusion. I looked at Sirius's face and he was just as lost as I was.

"Professor Dumbledore would like to meet with you." She said, moving toward Sirius and I and also toward the portrait hole.

"Just me?" I asked confused.

"No, of course not. All of you." She said shortly, looking over her shoulder to my friends on the couches.

They jumped and scrambled up to join Sirius and I in following McGonagall out of the common room. We were silent on our way to the headmaster's office. We did exchange furtive glances, trying to gage what this could be about. I had a feeling that it was about us not going to any classes today, but this was Dumbledore so it could be anything. When our group reached the office, Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, looking as austere as usual. He dismissed McGonagall and waited until we heard the door at the bottom of the stairs thud closed.

"You may be wondering why I called you up here." Dumbledore said, leaning forward to rest his arms on his desk.

We gave hesitant nods, unable to see where this was going.

"Well, I'll put you at rest. This has almost nothing to do with your lack of attendance today." Dumbledore said softly.

I noticed that my friends visibly relaxed when they heard this. Lily even let out a little puff of breath. She had a perfect attendance record, and probably had been the most worried about getting in trouble.

"This is about Order business and your training." Dumbledore continued, almost ignoring our reactions.

"We're not stopping, are we?" James asked, sounding seriously concerned.

"Oh no, there is just going to be a change in your schedules." Dumbledore said with a chuckle.

This sparked my attention. I hoped that training would be moved from the middle of the night.

"From now on, you will only attend the classes that take place after lunch. Any classes that you currently have before lunch will take place after dinner. Additionally, you will not be taking Defense Against the Dark Arts with Professor Strife. Your Order training will count for that." Dumbledore explained, leaning back in his chair.

"What about our N.E.W.T.s?" Lily asked suddenly.

Of course she would be the one worried about the state of our academic careers. I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes.

"All elements of your exams will be covered, Miss. Evans." Dumbledore said patronizingly.

Lily relaxed and again I resisted rolling my eyes. Sirius, however, did not. Lily either didn't see it or chose to ignore him. In either case, Dumbledore pressed on.

"Your training will still be at midnight, but will only last two hours maximum. You will have from that point until after lunch to sleep. You don't have to go to lunch, but you will be required to attend the lessons after it. You are not required to attend any of the classes you chose, but it is recommended because you will need income after school. The Order is not a paying job." He went on.

James, Sirius, and I exchanged a glance. We didn't necessarily need jobs after school; we had trust funds or inheritances that kicked in when we came of age. I actually hand no real plans for a job after we left. I just planned on starting a family and staying home with my children.

"Additionally, your living arrangements will be changed so to decrease suspicion." Dumbledore pressed on.

I suppressed the impulse to tell him that removing us from the Gryffindor tower might cause more suspicion.

"Where will we be sleeping?" James asked.

He had subconsciously taken a step closer to Lily. I half smirked at the action.

"There has been a small flat-style suite of rooms prepared on the seventh floor. There are enough beds for all of you and two full bathrooms. There is also a small kitchen for you if you choose to make your meals rather than eat in the Great Hall." Dumbledore said with a little twinkle in his eyes.

We all had to smile. At least we would be together in these new living quarters. Dumbledore stood up and walked around his desk.

"All of your things have been moved there." He said, sweeping toward the door.

We all followed after him swiftly as he moved down the spiral stairs. We walked in silence down the hall, and our new rooms were only a short distance from the headmaster's office. I remembered plotting this little tower when we were making the map, but it was empty then. I was highly anticipating what they had done with the place. When we reached the blank stretch of wall, Dumbledore pulled out his wand and tapped a series of bricks on the wall. The wall shifted and folded out from a central point, forming an arch that revealed a short set of stairs that led to a heavy door. We walked up the stairs and through the door.

The first thing that struck me about the room was how warm it was. The temperature of the room itself was comfortable due to the crackling fire in the fireplace, but the atmosphere was warm and inviting. There were several plush armchairs and a long plush couch. There was an ornate dining table with six chairs around it and a decent sized kitchen, complete with breakfast bar and stools. There was an arch across the room with some stairs that I presumed led to the bedrooms. I felt so at ease in the room, and I could tell that everyone else felt the same way.

"I hope you enjoy living here." Dumbledore said from behind us. I almost forgot that he was there.

We all turned and nodded at him. He turned and swept out of the room, leaving us alone. When the heavy wooden door shut with a soft thud, I sense that we all relaxed.

"This is nice." James said, walking over to the kitchen with his hands in his pockets.

"I wonder why Dumbledore thought to remove us from the rest of the house. To me, that would cause more suspicion than us sneaking out on a regular basis. People expect that from us." I said, moving over to the couch.

I sat down and faced behind me so to look at the rest of them.

"Maybe it has nothing to do with raising suspicions and more to do with protecting us." Remus said.

He sat down at the table with Lily and Peter while Sirius came to sit next to me. I gave a non-committal shrug.

"You really didn't think that those slime balls would stop coming after us, did you?" Remus asked with a short, humorless chuckle.

"Not likely." James said, answering Remus's rhetorical question.

James was moving around the kitchen, inspecting the contents of the cupboards. They all looked to be well supplied.

"Well, this move is likely to throw them off the scent, at least for a little while. And the change in schedule puts our most active time when they are confined to their common room." Remus went on.

I hadn't even thought about that. I guess I hadn't considered us that important to the Order to need high protection. We lapsed into silence for a while, all lost in our own thoughts. I shifted every so often, the skin on my back starting to become sore. Sirius looked at sharply every time I did so and I knew he saw the little involuntary grimaces I made. I tried not to make these faces, knowing the last thing Sirius needed was another reason to coddle me, but the pain prevented me from completely suppressing them.

"Do we want to stay in or do we want to go get something to eat?" James asked after a long time.

We all sort of mumbled incoherently, and the general consensus was just to stay in. But then Lily's stomach growled loud enough for me to hear across the room. She turned pink and sort of gave an embarrassed giggle.

"I guess someone should take Lily to get something to eat." I said.

My tone was light and joking but my eyes were staring into the bespectacled hazel ones across the room. I was giving him a hard look, even though my mouth was smiling.

"I guess I can show her down to the kitchen." James said reluctantly.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair.

"Isn't dinner still going on?" Lily asked, looking around.

I also gave a surreptitious glance around the room. Even though the room was decadently furnished, there was no clock anywhere to be found. This may prove to be a problem later, but for this moment, it was perfect.

"Dinner's probably over by now. Sirius and I took a pretty long time in the hospital wing." I said, making up a quick lie.

"Just come on. The quicker we go, the quicker we can get back." James grumbled walking around the breakfast bar and toward the door.

Lily hesitated but then got up and followed him out of the tower. After the door was closed, there was silence for a couple of seconds before Remus let out a low whistle.

"What?" I asked confused.

"You better hope whatever plan you have in that delusional head of your works. This can either go really great or really bad." Remus said.

I smiled innocently, all the while praying to every god and goddess I could think of that this would go right.


	11. What does it mean?

~James's POV~

Lily and I walked down the several flights of stairs that led down to the fruit bowl painting, which was the door to the kitchen. She wasn't looking at me as we walked side by side at a rather brisk pace. I could sense that the tension that had been between us since we woke up together was still there.

I had so many unanswered questions. What did that kiss last night mean? I knew that, to me, it meant the world. That was a moment I had been dreaming about since I first met her. I had dreamed of being her only love, her true love. I wanted to be with her forever, no matter how clichéd that was. But all these years of rejection have gotten to me. I felt like Sky, in a way: my body torn to shreds by every cruel word she's ever given me. But, unlike Sky, I can't take anymore. Just one more rejection would literally destroy me.

When Lily and I reached the kitchen, the house elves greeted us eagerly and served us with delight. I had been down here plenty of times since we had discovered its location, and the house elves loved me. I had a house elf at my home but we treated her as one of the family. The elves here were more than happy to make a special serving of our favorite dishes for us. I had a generous helping of Sheppard's pie with broccoli and Lily had roast beef with steamed vegetables. Lily and I ate in an awkward silence and neither of us looked each other in the eyes. She seemed Hell-bent on watching her food as if it would run away if she took her eyes off of it for even the tiniest second.

I watched her hands when they were down by her plate. I couldn't help but wonder what they would feel like in mine. I wondered for what felt like the millionth time what that kiss meant to her. She had said that it wasn't so bad. But WHAT, exactly, wasn't so bad? Was it kissing me, specifically? Was it just the act of kissing in general? Where did we go from here? What happened to us now? How would this affect our relationship, if you want to call it that? Would all of the rest of our friends be affected by this now? All of the questions raced around in my head. I wanted to ask, but I couldn't deal with the possible rejection again.

We finished eating and walked back to the door again. Lily practically ran to the wall concealing the door when we reached the floor. She seemed like she wanted to just get away from me, which sort of made me suspicious. I had no intention to talk to her today, because I had no idea what to say, but this behavior was making me talk to her. She pulled out her wand when we reached the wall and tapped the bricks at lightning speed. She was about to race into the tower but I stopped her. I grabbed her elbow gently and I could have sworn I felt a spark.

"Are you okay? You seem kind of quiet." I asked quietly.

She gave me a very hollow smile. I didn't like it. It looked like she was just painting on that smile to get rid of me.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She said lightly.

"Anything you want to talk about?" I asked slowly. I was trying to get her to start the conversation. After all, it WAS her that really started all of this if one really wanted to point the finger.

She shook her head and smiled. It nearly broke my heart. She had on the same smile and I could read all of the unspoken words. She just wanted to forget what had happened between us. That kiss obviously meant nothing to her or else she would want to talk about it. I lowered my gaze to the floor, my eyes wide.

"Is there anything you want to talk about?" I heard her ask.

Her voice sounded like it was at the other end of a tunnel. I felt the blood rushing in my ears. I felt hollow inside, as if something had been ripped out of my chest. Fine. If she wanted to just forget everything, then I would too.

"Nope. I'm good." I said shortly.

"That's good. I thought for a second…" she said, trailing off.

I looked up at her. She was biting her lips. She only did that when she was holding back. I couldn't imagine what else she wanted to say when her actions were drowning out her words.

"Well, you thought wrong didn't you Evans." I said, running a hand through my hair.

I put on my cocky mask again, knowing how much she hated it. I just didn't want to be near her right now; I just wanted to be alone to deal with this.

She smiled at me but her smile didn't quite reach her eyes. I decided to let it go. We walked into the tower and she raced up the stairs, ignoring the others still sitting exactly where we had left them. We all looked after her in silences. They Sky took it upon herself to break the silence.

"Well?" she asked impatiently.

I just shook my head and walked up the stairs and up to my room.

But, before I was out of earshot, I heard Sky snap, "What? At least I tried. Someone had to do something."

I half smiled but shook my head. If only they could figure out that the only person who needed to do anything was me.

**A/N: Sorry this is so short, but the next part is almost ridiculously long, and I didn't want to divide the story lines. Don't kill me. And please take a minute to go to my profile to read a message that I have for you. That would be greatly appreciated.**


	12. TIME CUT

~Sky's POV~

The next few months seemed to blur together. Everything seemed to center around sleep or pain. Whenever I wasn't asleep or tired, I was in pain. As my body became used to my new sleeping schedule, I was tired slightly less and in pain more. My last stubborn cut took such a long time to heal, and the entire time it was doing so, it hurt.

It didn't help that Moody wasn't going easy on any of us during our training sessions. Because he was now on a time limit, we were forced to learn one very complicated spell a night and then have the one night "off" to master it. We would then have to show mastery the next time we had training. We would often practice the less dangerous spells on each other, but those times were few and far between. Most of the spells we learned had to be practiced on dummies and mastering those spells outside of training was difficult. All of the spells we learned had real-world applications. We learned some healing spells, some defensive spells, and many offensive spells.

The work was almost mindless though, because there seemed to be no real threat to make us try. Moody figured out that we were becoming apathetic to the training relatively quickly and took it upon himself to spice things up. He started giving "pop quizzes" which basically involved a group of his Auror friends ambushing us when we entered the Great Hall. He liked to think that he surprised us, but that really only happened once. That one time was the first time, because we didn't use the map to get down to the Great Hall.

From that point on, we always used the map to make sure we were ready for these "pop quizzes". Lily had suggested once or twice that we stop relying on the map so heavily, because there wasn't going to be one for the whole world after we left school. We agreed with her, but she never said anything when we used it and had the upper hand before the "quizzes".

But on top of the randomness of the "quizzes", they were extra difficult because if we didn't use the spells we learned in lessons, then we failed. Lily nearly had a panic attack the first time we failed a pop quiz. She had never failed anything in her life, and it was devastating for her to fail.

What made everything ten times worse was that Cloud insisted on my training with him on Saturday mornings at sunrise. This meant that I either had to go almost straight from trainings on Friday nights to physical training on Saturday mornings or I would have both trainings on the same day.

It was a close race for which wore me out more. In the first scenario, I would have to go to school all day and then exhaust myself mentally at one training and then exhaust myself physically at the other a few hours later. With this scenario, I could sleep for the rest of the day Saturday and not have to worry about getting up again until really Monday afternoon. But in the other, I would have to exhaust myself physically in the morning, sleep for the majority of the day, and then exhaust myself mentally.

When it came down to it though, I preferred Cloud's trainings to Moody's. Cloud would at least give me breaks when I couldn't take anymore. With Moody, he doubled the pressure and pushed me harder. He claimed that I only performed my best when I was pissed, but what he didn't understand was that I was pissed from the moment I walked into his trainings.

Another reason I liked Cloud's training better was the presence of Sirius. He had known that I trained with Cloud since I started in my third year, but he never really knew the exact details of it. Sirius was now learning how to fight hand-to-hand and he was getting rather good at it. He refused to fight me for semi-obvious reasons (one of which was that I was so much more experienced than him). So, when he was practicing and learning with Cloud, I was practicing weapons with a faceless opponent that Cloud created.

This was mildly frustrating because the thing never stopped or gave in, and it never got tired. This was a problem whenever Cloud wasn't watching it. I would get pushed beyond my limit and it would eventually pin me with a sharp weapon to a vital body part of mine. It would never kill me, but the positions were often painful. I would only be let out of these holds when Cloud called off his creation, and sometimes that took a little while. But, on the whole, these training were much more enjoyable than the other one.

Lessons become almost a secondary concern to my friends and me. We breezed through Charms and Transfiguration because the work was a cake walk compared to Order training. As a group we dropped all of our extra classes, and we were even allowed to drop History of Magic. I figured that Dumbledore knew that listening to Binns for an hour or more after dinner was a form of cruel and unusual punishment and, since we were already getting that with Moody, he must have seen it as fair to let us drop History of Magic.

I was especially thankful for this because this was the only lesson besides Potions that we shared with the Slytherins. I could only take so much of Snape and Regulas glaring at me in a week. With our new schedules, the only times I had to endure that was during dinner and during double Potions on Friday afternoons.

It was tough to say which time caused me more distress. I knew that during dinner, they couldn't do anything without risking getting caught. They could try to poison me again, but my friends and I now knew spells that could detect poisoning in food. But during dinner, I had my back to them, and I always felt vulnerable like this, but never said anything. But during dinner at least I knew exactly where those vermin were.

During Potions, on the other hand, when the potions were being brewed, the room tended to fill up with multi-colored smoke. And, because Slughorn insisted on keeping the windows closed, the room became hazy and it became hard for me to see. My heart always raced during these times because the haze in the room reminded me of the haze Regulas put over my eyes when he abducted me.

I also got particularly nervous when we started to brew the particularly dangerous poisons. I didn't know if they were stealing vials of it or if they were trying to sabotage my potion, so to cause a catastrophic failure. My hands constantly shook and my breathing, despite my attempts to keep it calm and even, often became panicked and shallow.

I could never tell if Sirius picked up on these incidents because we were not partners anymore. He was partnered up with Peter and was across the room from me. I knew for a fact, though, that Remus, my new partner, noticed my panic attacks. He did his best to calm me down, so not to attract unwanted attention from the Slytherins. He reminded me that the last thing they needed was the knowledge that their mere presence could reduce me to a nervous wreck. These reminders helped, but I couldn't stop my heart from pounding.

I spent most of my free time in the tower during these months. Sirius tried to get me to go on walks on Sundays that we had off, but I didn't want to run the risk of meeting a Slytherin. I never told him this reason; I usually made up a lie for each time. I could tell that he didn't believe any of these lies, but he never pushed the matter. Usually he left me alone and went for walks by himself. I didn't like this but I didn't want to go with him, so I had no right to say anything.

But on top of all this tension, there was also the tension between Lily and James. Neither one of them talked to each other except for very superficial conversations, like "yes", "no", or "pass the salt". It was immensely frustrating for us because whenever they were in the same room together, the air between them was filled with awkwardness, and it made for a very uncomfortable for the rest of us.

I personally wanted to lock them in a room, preferably a small one, and refuse to let them out until they resolved whatever was going on between them. But none of the other boys would let me do that because they said that the last thing they needed on top of them not talking to each other was them not talking to the rest of us.

When I got this line of horse crap, I had to severely bite my longue. If Lily talked to me any less, I could have sworn she was mute. She had somehow figured out that I had tried to get her and James to talk the night after I found her on the couch with James, and now was talking to me like she was talking to James.

And trying to talk to James about it was like talking to a brick wall. When I even hinted at a question of what was going on between him and Lily, he would either ignore me completely or just shake his head and walk away. None of us could figure out exactly what had happened between them, but we figured that I had to be something major in order for them to be acting this way.

But this tension wasn't just a problem because it was making life in our group close to unbearable. It was a problem because it was affecting the dynamic of our group during our Order training. Lily and James refused to work together and that more often than not resulted in some significant mistake. The consequences for their mistakes were taken out on all of us, adding to the overall frustration within the group.

All of these factors combined led to me losing track of time. So it came as a huge shock to me when snow started to fall and December rolled around.


	13. Enough is Enough

On the first Saturday of December, I woke up to my alarm. Lily groaned but rolled over and went back to sleep. We didn't have training until later, but yesterday was rough.

Potions was grueling and it took all of the energy we didn't have to work on the potion. We started Veritaserium, and I spent most of the class sitting on my stool while Remus worked his ass off. The potion was just so meticulous and my anxiety would have made it nearly impossible for me to do it right. Not to mention I was more nervous than ever before over the prospect of Snape stealing this potion.

I sighed and sat up. I stretched and felt the all-too-familiar soreness in my back. I walked into the bathroom Lily and I shared and threw some cold water on my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror over the sink, and I was not happy with what I saw.

I had dark purple gashes under my eyes and my bright blue irises were framed with red. My hair was a mess, but it looked limp and sort of unhealthy. My cheekbones were more prominent now than they were when I started the year. The constant pain and tiredness I was feeling was taking a toll on my body, and I didn't like it. Most of the fat had been carved from my body, but despite the physical training I was doing, it was not being replaced by muscle. I've always had a thin frame, but the sleepless nights and the intense amount of physical and mental strain I was putting on my body combined with my already sparse eating habits were making me look sickly.

I sighed at my reflection and started to get changed. When I took my shirt off, I turned to look at my back. All of the cuts except the one with stitches had been healed up and scarred over. The one with stitches, which had taken forever to heal, finally looked like it had closed up for good. I could tell because there was a baby pink layer of skin over the cut and that only happened when it healed.

That cut, I had found out, was the deepest one. It stuck out on my back compared to all the rest. The cut on my cheek, the cut on my stomach, and the other nine cuts on my back were thin, no wider than a pencil and looked like just raised, flesh colored lines. But the tenth scar was almost two centimeters at its widest point, tapering off at either end. It was ugly and I knew it would take a while for it to turn the flesh color of the rest, or it may never turn that color.

I finished my inspection, and started to get dressed in my workout clothes. I made a mental note to go to the hospital wing or talk to Lily sometime today or tomorrow about taking my stitches out. After I was dressed in a black sports bra with a red wife beater, black yoga pants, and my sneakers I walked down the stairs to the living room. The sun hadn't quite risen yet, but I could see through the windows that the sky was a rust red color.

I looked at the couch and, as usual, Sirius was sitting there waiting for me. He stood up and we both walked in silence down to the entrance hall. When we arrived, Cloud was waiting for us. The three of us then did our warm up laps around the castle. Cloud and I normally would have jogged three or four laps without breaking a sweat, but Sirius could only do two or three, even though he was in excellent shape.

After our jog, we moved into the Great hall and began our training. Like usual, I grabbed my two swords and strapped them on my back while Cloud created my opponent. I rolled my shoulders and bounced on the balls of my feet, limbering up before the fight. Sirius was also stretching, preparing to learn from Cloud.

After I counted off, the faceless opponent came flying at me. I barely had time to dodge, let alone draw my swords. Luckily, it had too much momentum and shot passed me, giving me time to draw my swords and take a defensive stance before it came charging back at me. I blocked and parried with my opponent, but I could feel my arms tiring quickly. I tried my best, but it knocked one of my swords out of my hand and, while I was momentarily distracted, my other sword also got knocked out of my hand. My opponent pointed its sword at my throat. I was about to yell for Cloud, but my opponent disappeared before I had to.

I turned and saw Sirius and Cloud sitting on the raised part where the teacher's table normally was. I shuffled over next to Sirius and flopped down on my back. I sort of regretted it, but kept my groan of pain in.

"You're not improving." Cloud said sternly.

I sighed. I wasn't even going to bother arguing with him.

"I'm going to talk to Dumbledore. Training with me on top of everything else you're doing is not helping you." He said after a pause.

I sat up and looked at him, confused. "I thought that this was your idea." I said slowly.

Cloud shook his head. "Dumbledore wanted to make sure you and I maintained our relationship." He said, rolling his eyes.

"Then he could have mentioned it. We could have set up a weekly tea or something." I groaned, flopping back again.

I started to ponder Dumbledore's reasoning, but before I could get far, Sirius sighed. I looked at him, waiting for him to say something, but he only shook his head. I was about to question him, but then the house tables appeared, signaling the end of training.

We all stood up and walked out into the entrance hall. Cloud parted from us on the landing to the first floor, leaving Sirius and I alone on our walk up to our tower. We walked in and I immediately went to the kitchen to cook some breakfast.

Over the past couple of months, it was uncovered that I was the only one who could cook worth a damn. Lily burned everything she tried to make and the boys were just hopeless. Sirius and James had lived the privileged life with house elves making their every meal. Peter had three sisters, so his parents never bothered to teach him how to cook. Remus could cook toast but that was about it. I learned from all of the years Cloud and I had lived basically on our own. It had been tough going, but it was worth it.

Sirius sat at the breakfast bar and was silent with a thoughtful look on his face. I gave him a questioning look while I pulled some bacon out of the icebox. Sirius sighed and looked at the countertop.

"I was just starting to enjoy those too." He said like he was talking to himself.

I didn't say anything but I nodded. I pulled out two pans, one for eggs and the other for bacon.

"Morning." I heard Remus's voice grumble from the direction of the stairs.

I looked at him and he looked terrible. He had more scratches on his face than usual and he moved like his entire body hurt. The full moon had been only a couple days ago, and it had been a particularly bad one. It had been bad because we had made James stay with Lily while we went to the shack with Remus.

We never went anywhere alone anymore. Even though we were pretty sure that the Slytherins didn't know about this tower, we weren't taking any chances. We had been taking it in turns. Peter had stayed with Lily for the full moon in October, Sirius stayed with her in November, and now James had stayed with her. December was a tough month, what with there being two full moons, and sitting out one of our biggest and toughest animagi didn't help. I would be sitting out next, so I hoped that the next full moon would be better on Remus.

Remus sat down at the table and laid his head on his crossed arms. I held in the noise of pity that was threatening to rise out of my throat. But I couldn't keep the pity out of my eyes. Luckily, Remus didn't see it.

I pulled my wand out of the holster I wore on my calf and waved it. Slices of bread flew into the air and landed gracefully in the slots of the toaster. With another flick of my wand started them cooking. I turned my attention to the bacon and eggs. I flicked my wand and two flames sprouted from the burners under the pans. I waved my wand and eggs started cracking themselves into the first pan and slices of bacon hopped into the second.

I took a step back and sighed, satisfied. I stretched my back by rolling my shoulder and it reminded me that I needed to get my stitches taken out sometime today. I made a mental note to ask Lily.

"Is that bacon I smell?" I heard James's voice ask.

I turned and saw that he had materialized next to Sirius at the breakfast bar, a fork in one hand and a knife in the other. I couldn't help but laugh at the eager grin on his face.

"I just put them on. You're going to have to wait a little bit." I said with a smile.

He drooped a little and I laughed again. I turned back to the pans. I flicked my wand to turn the bacon and I heard the toaster pop. With a wave of my wand, they flew onto a plate. I put more bread in the toaster and turned to the pans on the stove again. I flipped the eggs and flipped the bacon, all the while humming happily. It was strange that I felt so full of energy so shortly after being drained from training with Cloud. But this little piece of normalcy, cooking breakfast, felt sort of good.

"I love seeing you like this." Sirius said with a happy sigh.

I turned to look at him with a half-questioning, half-accusatory glance. I wasn't sure whether to be complimented or offended.

"Not like that. I just like seeing you happy." Sirius said.

I smiled and leaned across the breakfast bar and gave him a quick but tender kiss. I heard a fake gagging noise coming from the table. I looked over Sirius's shoulder and saw that Lily was sitting at the table, retching and pretending to throw up. I rolled my eyes.

"Just become you're miserable doesn't mean you can rain on my parade." I said trying to scold her. It was difficult because the faces she was making were causing me to laugh.

"I'm not miserable." Lily grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"And I'm a duck." I said casually.

I turned back to the pans and took the cooked bacon out of the pan and replaced it with uncooked bacon.

"It's none of your business." Lily said, her voice slightly weaker.

"Oh come off it." Remus said, his voice muffled by his arms.

"Exactly. And besides, it became my business when it started to effect how our trainings go." I said, my tone still light.

I slid the eggs out of their pan and onto a plate. I sent some more eggs to cracking, but kept my back to the rest.

"You know my opinion on the matter, but as of right now, I don't care if you two start dating or not. I think that if you do start dating it, it would solve things, but that's beside the point. Whatever tension there is between the two of you needs to be resolved. And I'm warning you, if you don't do it on your own soon, I'm going to lock the both of you in a small room together and make you." I said. I started light, but I ended my little speech with a heavy tone.

"Sky—"

"No Remus. This had gone on long enough. I refuse to live in an environment where all of my friends can't be in the same room and relaxed." I said firmly, looking at James.

He was staring at a spot on the counter a little to his right. He shook and stood up. As he walked away, he ran a hand through his hair. James walked into the living room and out the door. I sighed, agitated. Sirius shook his head and stood up as well.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked incredulous.

"I'm not going to let him wander about on his own. And I think he needs someone to talk to that won't give him the third degree." Sirius said, sighing and staring at me pointedly.

I sighed and threw my hands up in defeat. He turned and walked out the door after James. I sighed again and turned back to the cooking food. I flipped it and I heard the creaking of a chair.

"Don't even think about it, Lily Evans." I said coldly.

I turned around and saw Lily frozen in a half standing position. Her face was tight and her eyes were closed.

"You aren't going anywhere until we talk." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

She sighed and slowly lowered himself into her chair again.


	14. Heart to Heart with Padfoot and Prongs

~Sirius's POV~

I jogged down the half, heading toward the place where I was almost positive James would go: the Quidditch pitch. He had abdicated his captaincy of the Quidditch team after Sky came back from the hospital, and quit the team all together. But I could tell he missed it. We didn't go to Quidditch matches anymore (too many people, too big a risk) but I caught him playing with a snitch he stole sometimes. He wouldn't do it in front of anyone, and James probably didn't know I knew he had it. When James was really stressed, he tended to go down to the pitch and fly around.

I reached the doors to the entrance hall, and I could see a little black dot flying around the pitch. I half smiled and jogged down to the pitch. I grabbed one of the better spare brooms and I flew up to the level James was at.

He was flying back and forth, a quaffel under his arm. He dodged invisible opponents and pulled fakes against an imaginary keeper, and threw the ball through the hoop. He flew down quickly and caught it.

"Who are you playing?" I called to him.

I saw him jump a little, but he looked at me with a smirk.

"Who else? Slytherin." James said confidently.

He flew up and hovered about 10 yards from me.

"Wanna pass for a bit?" I asked.

James shrugged and threw the quaffel at me. I caught it with ease and tossed it back. After a few more silent passes, I decided to start the conversation.

"So what happened between you and Lily?" I asked, tossing the quaffel at James.

James sighed and held onto the ball for a second before tossing it back. He shook his head and said nothing.

"Come on, mate. Don't block me out too. I can understand you being like this with our nosy Songbird, but not your Padfoot." I said irritated.

I threw the ball a little harder than before, and James huffed a little. He rotated the ball in his hands before tossing it back.

"Lily and I kissed." James said so low I had a hard time hearing him.

I almost fell off my broom.

"You're joking right?" I asked with a laugh.

"Why would I be bloody joking?" James spat back venomously. I threw the ball to him.

"What was it like?" I asked, giving in to the testosterone.

James chuckled. "The best thing I've ever experienced, and that includes becoming an animagi." James said, tossing the ball in the air and catching it again.

"What happened?" I asked, catching the ball as he threw it back to me.

"Well, after Songbird came up to our room, I couldn't sleep so I went down to the common room. She was there doing those bleeding essays for Sky." James said, catching the ball and tossing it back to me quickly.

"That's just like Lily." I said with a laugh.

"Tell me about it. Anyway, I went over to her and she just started crying." James said, getting a little more animated now.

"Just like that? No warning?" I asked incredulous.

"Yeah. I don't know why. But then she just starts crying into my shoulder, saying she wants everything to go back the way it was last year." James said, talking slower now.

That was just like James. If he didn't have anything else to brag about, he was an excellent story teller. He always dragged out the most suspenseful part of a story, like he was doing now.

"Well, then what?" I asked, just wanting to know what happened.

"Then she just started kissing me!" James said loudly.

"Wait, she kissed you first?" I asked.

That was not like Lily at all. She would never do something like that.

"She kissed you first?" I asked again, not really believing him at all.

"Yeah then she stopped and said "That's not so bad" and then knocked me back and started snogging me." James said. He sounded like he barely believed himself.

"Wow, mate." I said, not really knowing what else to say.

"Yeah, I know. But after a bit, and by bit I only mean a minute or two, she just put her head on my chest and asked what it meant." James said, his voice a little darker now.

We had stopped passing the ball now and I just sat silent for a minute. I sort of felt like my world was ending. One of the things that I could almost always count on was that Lily would reject James. But now she was snogging him. It wasn't like I minded the snogging part; I was actually happy that she had. But it was just messing with my world view.

"So what does it mean?" I asked slowly.

"How the bloody hell should I know? She's the one who started kissing me." James said, angry.

He flew down to the ground and I followed him. We landed and just stood there. There was a slight breeze, and I could almost smell the coming snow.

"What are you going to do now?" Sirius asked.

James shook his head and sighed. "I have no clue. I want to ask her out again, but I can't." James said softly.

I looked at my best friend with wide, astounded eyes. "What's stopping you? You've basically gotten the green light. SHE snogged YOU." I said loudly, confused.

"I just can't, Padfoot. When Sky sent us to get something to eat, she didn't want to talk about it. I figured that she just wanted to forget about it, so I let it go the best I can. If that kiss meant nothing to her, and if she rejects me again, I don't know what I'd do." James said, his voice cracking.

He put a hand over his eyes, and his shoulders shook. I was frozen. I had never seen this side of James in the entire time we had known each other. The James I was used to was calm, cool, and collected and would never admit he had a weakness, regardless if the whole world could see it. I walked quickly over to my friend and I put a hand on his shoulder. James looked up at me, a couple of tears leaking down his face.

"I don't think that it meant nothing to her. Quite the contrary, actually." I said, thinking about everything I had just learned.

Everything that had happened between the two of them over the last few months made a lot more sense, actually, now that I understood what had happened. Lily was scared that James would think badly of her for what she did, even though it probably meant more to him than she could ever realize.

"Still, I don't even know what to say to her." James said, sighing.

"The same words you've been saying to her since second year: Oi, Evans go out with me." I said with a laugh.

James half heartedly chuckled and shrugged. "I can't say that." He said lowly.

"Well, maybe not those words exactly, but maybe something similar." I said, still chuckling a little.

James nodded and chuckled. He put the hand that wasn't holding his broom and the quaffel on my shoulder.

"You're right, Padfoot. I just have to man up and ask her. Hell, if I could ask her in front of the entire school before, what's stopping me now? I'm a Gryffindor. I'm fearless." James said, gaining confidence.

"That's right you are." I said, shaking him slightly.

"I'm going to ask her right now." James said.

He started to walk off toward the castle, but I stopped him.

"Wait a while. Plan it out. Make it special. She'll appreciate that." I said with a sly wink.

"You're right. This can't be like the other times. I'll make it really special tomorrow." James said with a happy smile.

I smiled back at him, and clapped him a couple times on the shoulder before throwing my arm around his neck.

"What would you do without me?" I laughed, tossing my head to get some hair out of my face.

"I'd be lost." James said, putting his arm around my shoulders.

We walked back into the locker room to put the equipment back. After that we walked back up to the castle, arms around each other's shoulders. We laughed like old times; it felt good to have my best friend back.

**A/N: So I know I said the end of July would be the end my hiatus, well sorry. That was a lie. That and the cake; the cake was a lie (All of two people got that joke…for those who did, you're welcome and for those who didn't sorry if I sounded crazy). Anywhoozles, I'm trying to write as quickly as I can. I want to finish this segment of the series up before NaNoWriMo (i.e. November) so I can focus all of my attention on that/those projects. I have a few in mind and I just have to check and make sure that I can do them before I start planning too much. But anyway, I hope you guys are enjoying the story. Please Review for me; it helps me make the story better when you guys tell me what you like and don't like.**


	15. Lily Confesses

~Sky's POV~

"Alright, girlie. Talk." I said, getting right to the point.

"I have nothing to say." Lily said stubbornly.

"Lily, there's no point in denying it any longer. You and James have been acting funny since the day after our first training." Remus said, sitting up finally.

"Well, that's not my fault." Lily said.

"How is it not your fault? Not that James is entirely off the hook here either, but you most certainly are at fault as well." I said.

I took the food out of the pans and turned off the heat. I leaned over the breakfast bar so to look at her better.

"You wouldn't understand." Lily mumbled.

She crossed her arms across her chest and sat back in her chair.

"Well, tell me what happened and I'll try to understand." I said, my voice strained. I was getting very frustrated with her blocking me out.

"Well, after you went up to Sirius, I went down to the common room and started working on your essays again." Lily said softly.

"At three in the morning?" Remus asked, astounding.

I rolled my eyes. It was just like Lily to be doing homework at three in the morning.

"Yeah. Well then James came down and scared me. I spilled my ink well, and something in me just snapped." Lily said, not looking at Remus and me.

"Snapped?" I asked.

Lily could snap in several different ways, and I wanted to be sure in which way she had snapped.

"I just started crying and James comforted me. He was actually really sweet about it." Lily said.

I held in my comments about how he had been like that forever, judging it to be the wrong time to say "I told you so".

"And then I couldn't stop myself." Lily said, her voice barely above a whisper.

I moved quickly from around the breakfast bar and sat down across from her at the table.

"Stop yourself from doing what?" I asked softly but my voice was intense.

"I kissed him." Lily said.

I sat back in my chair and looked at her, astounded. I let out a few short laughs. Sirius owed me money. We had made a bet back in third year after Lily rejected James particularly harshly. He bet that James would have to tie her down in order to get her to kiss him and I bet that Lily would be willing. We had bet fifty Galleons on it.

"How is this funny?" Lily asked, slightly hysterical.

I shook my head, deciding that Lily didn't need to know that we were making bets about her love life.

"So what happened after you two kissed?" Remus asked, getting back on subject.

"We just fell asleep on the couch. I just remember falling asleep and then waking up to Sirius and Sky on the other couch." Lily said with a shrug.

"They fell asleep on the couch together, and you knew and you didn't feel the need to tell me?" Remus asked me harshly.

I shrugged. "It slipped my mind. I wasn't going to bring it up if they weren't." I mumbled.

Remus rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"More importantly, what are you going to do now?" I asked Lily.

She shrugged. "I don't even know what that kiss meant to him. What if he doesn't like me anymore because he got his kiss?" Lily asked. She sounded very concerned and sort of looked like she was on the verge of tears.

I couldn't stop myself; I erupted with laughter at the sight of her. James? Lose interest in Lily? The mere thought of it was just too funny. Although she didn't know exactly how much she meant to James, she must have known that he wouldn't give up that easily.

"This is not funny!" Lily said, starting to cry.

I calmed down quickly after seeing how much it was upsetting her.

"I'm not laughing at you, per say. Just this delusional idea that James could give up on you after so many years." I said, wiping a little tear from the corner of my eye.

"But I've been really mean to him over the years. What if he think that I'm just toying with him?" she asked, still sounding really concerned.

"Well, are you?" I asked, honestly interested.

Lily bit her lip and thought for a moment. "I don't think so. He's really changed from the irritating prat I used to hate." Lily said, twisting her hands over the table.

"She has seen the light!" Remus said, raising his hands and face to the ceiling.

Lily rolled her eyes at him.

"But he has a point. For someone so brilliant as you are, you can be incredibly thick sometimes. We've been trying to convince you he's not a prat for years. Mostly for our benefit, but recently it's been for your benefit." I said.

She didn't say anything and didn't look at me. I was about to say something, but then Sirius and James walked back into the tower, their arms around each other's shoulders and they were laughing. Lily blushed pink and avoided eye contact. I went back into the kitchen and got the food ready for everyone to eat.

The meal was quiet, but it was more comfortable than any meal had been between us for the last couple of months. Lily and James still exchanged some awkward looks, but at least they were willing to say more than a few strained words to each other.

After the meal, I went back upstairs to my room to get some rest. I was tired again, and I had a feeling that I would need all the strength I could have for tonight's training. I fell asleep easily, and I only woke up once when I felt someone slide in bed with me. I took a breath when that happened and I smelled fresh pine after the rain and realized that it was Sirius.

This tower didn't have the spell that repelled the boys from our room considering that there was only one staircase to the rooms. Sirius liked to join me while I napped, and he generally was able to get a fair amount of sleep himself.

After what only seemed like a few minutes, I heard someone slam the door open to my room. I jumped and screamed. I didn't realize that I was so close to the edge of the bed, so when I jumped I actually fell out of bed. I scrambled up and grabbed my wand, firing a stunning spell randomly toward the direction of the door.

"Oi! Watch who you're stunning!" I heard James yell at the top of his voice.

I cleared the hair out of my face and saw the James, Remus, Lily and Peter were standing in the doorway. There was a slightly charred spot on the wall next to the door. I laughed weakly, sort of impressed that I had fired with that much accuracy.

"Sorry mate. Maybe next time you should think before you just slam doors open when I'm dead asleep." I said, bending to pick up the blanket that had fallen to the floor with me.

"Maybe I will." James said, a little offended.

"What time is it?" Sirius asked, stretching.

"Almost time to go. Thought we should give you a wakeup call." Lily said, her voice revealing that she was barely holding back laughter.

"Thanks." I muttered sarcastically.

I stalked over the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I saw the training clothes I had changed out of earlier sitting on the floor, so I put them back on. I brushed my hair and put it up in a high ponytail. I looked out the window and saw that it was, indeed, very dark. I looked up and saw that the moon was almost three-quarters full. I sighed and then walked out to find that only Sirius was left in the room. He was wearing some jeans from the stash he had put in my wardrobe and just a plain black short sleeved shirt. He tossed some hair out of his face and smiled at me. I walked over to him and put my arms around his waist. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders and put a cheek on the top of my head.

"I feel like the luckiest girl in the world." I whispered with a smile.

"And why's that?" Sirius asked with a little chuckle.

"Because I was the one that finally got you." I said, looking up at him.

"You've always had me." Sirius said, both his mouth and eyes smiling.

I stretched my neck and kissed Sirius tenderly.

"Well, it still makes me feel lucky." I said when we pulled apart.

Sirius smiled and kissed the tip of my nose, causing me to giggle. It was nice that he could reduce me to giggling like a giddy school girl with just one simple kiss.

"We should go." Sirius said after a moment.

"I know." I said deflated.

He pulled himself away from me and took my hand. We both walked down to the living room where all of our friends were waiting for us. James had the map out and he was looking serious. I squared my shoulders and we all walked out of the tower. When we reached the hall, Lily and I lit our wands.

Lily was walking with James in front of Remus and Peter while Sirius and I were bringing up the rear. Lily was helping James see and read the map while I was making sure that everyone else could see. The walk down to the Great Hall was uneventful. We paused before we entered while James checked to make sure that only Moody and Dumbledore were in the room.

After a couple tense seconds, James nodded and cleared the map. He put it in the back pocket of his jeans and we all prepared ourselves for whatever was behind the doors. James pushed them open and we all hurried inside.


	16. Boggart Part 1

The first thing I noticed was that Dumbledore and Moody were standing where the teacher's table normally was. But they weren't alone, per say. Between the two of them was a large trunk. At first I was sort of excited, hoping for something that wasn't complex magic. But then I saw it rattle. There was a boggart in there.

I felt my heart race; we were fighting a boggart, a creature that took the form of your worst fear. I searched my mind, trying to find my biggest fear so I could be prepared. But I couldn't think of any way to turn my biggest fear into something funny. We walked hesitantly toward the front of the hall and stopped about 10 yards short of the headmaster, the Auror and the trunk.

"Well, I think you've figured out what we're doing today." Moody said.

"Yeah, there's a boggart in there." Sirius spat.

He was always slightly irritated with Moody because of how hard he pushed me, but he sounded positively spiteful today.

"Yes, Mr. Black there is. Before we begin, I want you to know that we understand that some of you have very real and very terrifying fears. We won't force you to face the boggart for any longer than you are capable of doing." Dumbledore said.

I could feel his eyes looking through me while he said this. I knew he was talking about my fears, but he had no clue what I feared the most.

"Can we opt not to do it at all?" Peter asked.

I looked at him, harshly rolling my eyes. Of course, he wouldn't want to face the boggart. His biggest fear was probably being discovered, and just admitting that fear would reveal that he's hiding something.

"No, you have to face the boggart. We, at least, need to know what your biggest fears are. If you can't defeat the boggart on your own, then we will step in, but you have to at least try." Dumbledore said patronizingly.

We all nodded.

"So who wants to go first?" Moody asked eagerly.

He was a little too excited for this. We all looked at each other. I shook my head. I didn't want to go at all, let alone first. We looked at Remus, and he nodded. Remus had the least to hide; we all knew that his biggest fear was the full moon. We all backed off and Remus stepped, closing the distance between us and the trunk by half. He nodded at Moody who counted to three and opened the lid of the trunk.

As he did so, a silver orb surrounded by tiny black clouds rose out of the trunk and hovered in front of Remus. I saw him swallow hard but he pulled out his wand and pointed it at the boggart.

"R-Riddikulus." Remus said, his voice shaking a little.

Nothing happened to the boggart. It started to advance towards him. I saw a bead of sweat run down his face. I didn't realize how much Remus feared the moon.

"Come on, Moony. You can do it." I said softly.

I was almost positive he heard me because I saw him square his shoulders and point his wand at the boggart.

"Riddikulus." He said firmly.

The boggart turned into a red balloon that flew around while deflating. We all laughed a little at it, but then Moody pointed his wand at it and it flew back into the trunk. Moody closed the lid and turned to Remus.

"The full moon? You're afraid of the full moon? What are you, a werewolf?" he said, laughing a little.

My friends and I all glared at him while Remus looked at the floor.

"Actually yeah, I am." He said quietly.

Moody stopped laughing and looked at Remus critically.

"Well, that's an easy fear to conquer." Moody said.

"That's what you think." Remus muttered.

I barely heard him so I was sure that Moody didn't. He waved Remus away and looked at us, waiting for another victim. We looked among ourselves. When Remus reached the group again, James put a hand on his shoulder in comfort. I looked at the ground, trying to be invisible. Luckily, Lily volunteered to go next. I was mildly curious to see what her biggest fear was.

She reached the spot where Remus had stood and waited. Moody opened the trunk and we waited. To all of our surprise, Dumbledore rose out of the trunk. He stepped over the side and walked toward Lily. He looked much darker and scarier than I had ever seen Dumbledore look. He held out his hand toward Lily.

"Your wand." The boggart said, its voice an exact match to the real Dumbledore's.

"No. It's mine. I need it." Lily said, her voice edging toward hysterical.

"But you are not a witch and therefore do not need it." The boggart Dumbledore said.

Understanding spread through me. Lily was a muggle born, so it made sense that her biggest fear was not actually being a witch in the first place. Then I realized that this fear probably haunted her throughout these past years. It sort of explained why she worked so hard to be good at magic, to prove to the world and possibly herself that she was a witch.

"Lily, really?" I heard James whisper.

I looked at him, and there was a look of frustration on his face. He was probably expecting something more superficial out of her, like a fear of failing her N.E.W.T.s and it probably frustrated him that she feared this when she very clearly had no need to. Lily sighed, and I saw a tear slip from her eyes. She stood up and pointed her wand at the boggart Dumbledore's face. It went to grab at her wand.

"Riddikulus." She said seriously.

The boggart's hand closed around her wand and pulled away, only a bouquet of flowers in its fist. The boggart then began to skip around in the circle, taking flowers out of the bouquet and throwing them into the air. We laughed at the sight, and I even heard Dumbledore chuckle. He probably never imagined himself doing anything like that. Moody pointed his wand at the boggart and it flew back into the trunk. Moody shut the lid with a sigh.

"Muggle born?" he asked heavily.

Lily nodded.

"Could have fooled me." Moody said slowly.

He looked directly into her eyes and I saw her grin a little. She went back to our group. I grabbed her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze. Peter, James, Sirius and I looked at each other. I knew what I feared and I could figure out what Peter feared. I had a vague idea of what Sirius would fear, and I was pretty positive I knew what James feared.

"Prongs?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Alright." James grumbled.

He rolled his shoulders and walked toward the trunk. He sighed and straightened up. Moody opened the trunk and I was shocked. The boggart had turned itself into two people. One was very easily recognizable. It was Lily in an absolutely breathtaking wedding dress. She looked amazing. But the other person was harder to recognize. He was tall, but not much taller than Lily. His face was angular, and he had very prominent cheekbones. His black hair was slicked back and tied at the nape of his neck. When I looked at the man's face again, I looked at his eyes. They were coal black and so cold.

Wait, I knew those eyes. I took a step back. It was Snape. James's worst fear wasn't Lily dying, like I thought it was, but her loving someone else. And who else would James fear that Lily love? Snape made sense, but it still bothered me.

The boggart Lily took the boggart Snape's hand and they looked at each other with all of the love in their eyes. James couldn't even look at them. He looked at the floor, and I could see that his shoulders were shaking.

"Prongs." Sirius said, his voice full of sadness and pity.

James took a deep breath, and he looked up. Just as he looked at the two boggart creatures, the Lily one leaned into the Snape one and they shared a passionate kiss.

I heard a strange noise, and I looked at James. He had turned around and I saw that his shoulders were shaking. The noise came again, and I realized that it was James. I started to rush to him, but Lily beat me to it. She ran over to him and they collided. Her arms wrapped around his neck and pulled his head into her shoulder. He slowly wrapped his arms around her torso, hesitantly at first but then after a few moments, he held onto her tightly.

"It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." Lily said.

I'm not sure if Dumbledore or Moody heard it, but Moody assumed that James was finished so he sent the boggart back into the trunk.


	17. Boggart Part 2

Lily helped James over to a wall and sat him down. They sat there for a time while Sirius, Peter and I looked at each other. I shook my head. I didn't want to go at all, and I was hoping that we were taking up time by being dramatic and deciding to stall on our decisions. It seemed like Peter was hoping for the same thing. He was looking at Sirius and me with hopeful eyes, like he was waiting for one of us to step up.

I looked at Sirius, and I saw that he was steeling himself. His eyes were hard and cold. He nodded and turned to me. He kissed my forehead tenderly, and I could sense something different about it. I couldn't exactly place the feeling though.

Sirius walked over to the unofficial spot and waited. Moody released the boggart and I was shocked by what I saw. I was expecting to see my mangled body, or James's body, but not what stepped out of the trunk. The man was tall, and very much alive. He had hair and a face like Sirius's but the features were much harsher. His eyes were black and cold as ice. He was dressed in a regal gray waistcoat and black pants. He looked like royalty, or at least he acted like it. I had to really think about where I had seen this man before, but it was James who reminded.

"Orion?" he said, almost astonished.

I felt the realization sweep through me. Orion was his father. I only ever met the man once at a family reunion the summer of my fifth year. That night was the night that Sirius walked out and his family disowned him.

"You are coming home now." Orion said, his voice like steel.

Sirius glared at him. "Make me." Sirius said.

Orion took the steps down from the raised part of the floor. Sirius raised his wand.

"Riddikulus." He said. His voice was so different than anything I've ever heard out of him.

There was a pop and Orion's dark and regal clothing turned into a rainbow pair of pants and a hot pink waistcoat. His hair turned into a multi-colored afro and he had the big red shoes on too. I couldn't help but laugh. It was just too funny to see. We all started laughing and the boggart looked around wildly. Moody waved his wand and it shot back into the trunk.

"Orion Black? Somehow I didn't make the connection." Moody said.

"Please. You know who my family is. Everyone knows the most noble and ancient House of Black. I'm not proud of it, but I accept it. I disowned them the day they disowned me." Sirius said.

He wasn't looking at anyone, and walked back to our group. I looked at Peter. He was looking at me, terrified. He and I both didn't want to do this. I just had my pride on the line; Peter had his entire lifestyle on the line, one way or the other. But I had to know something before I either took the fall or threw him under the bus.

"Who do you fear more?" I asked softly.

Sirius, Lily and James looked at me sharply, and very confused. But Remus's face was blank. I locked eyes with Peter and he swallowed hard. He did a quick glance around the room and I understood. He feared us more. The most they could do was kill him. But if he betrayed them, he would be welcomed by our group as a hero. But if he revealed that he was afraid of us, then he could lose us and then we would know that he was in cohorts with them and he would lose everything.

I nodded and stepped up. I felt my heart pounding, and I almost couldn't think of what to do. I felt sweat starting to form on the palms of my hands. Moody opened the trunk and everything was like slow motion.

I saw Cloud, and all of my friends step out of the trunk, one by one. Cloud looked at me with a look I could only associate with how life was before I started school and our parents had just died. But before I could figure it out, he disappeared. Just disappeared. Remus looked at me, almost like he pitied me, but then he too disappeared. I opened my mouth and I felt my breath starting to come short. I saw a tear slide down James's face and then he vanished. Lily gave me a small, sad smile but then disappeared. Sirius was the last one I saw and he reached his hand out toward me. I reached out for his hand and just before I could touch him, he disappeared.

Then suddenly, all of the lights in the Great Hall went out and I felt like my vision was stripped away from me. My panic hit a peak and I screamed. I fell to my knees, and I started clawing at my face, trying to get whatever what blocking my vision out of the way.

"Songbird." I heard someone say.

I was sobbing and screaming words, but I couldn't understand what I was saying. I felt strong arms wrap around my arms and shoulders and I started to panic. I thought that someone was going to take me away again.

Then suddenly I felt two cold hands on either side of my face. I heard someone speaking but I couldn't understand the language. I felt my panic decreasing and I stopped clawing at my eyes.

"Sky, open your eyes." I heard a voice say.

It took me a minute, but then I recognized it as Dumbledore's voice. I opened my eyes and was startled for a second because his face was so close to mine. I looked around him and all of my friends were gathered there, looking very concerned. I saw Sirius looking slightly sad, but I could see all the people I feared to have left me were gone were there except one.

"Cloud." I said, standing up and running out of the room.

I could hear my friends shouting after me but I didn't care. I ran as fast as I could up the stairs and into Cloud's office. I started banging on the door and screaming for him to open it. When he did, he looked very confused, but he didn't have much time to react because I threw myself at him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, breathing out heavily in relief. Cloud wrapped his arms around my chest, holding me tight.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's gonna be okay." Cloud whispered in my ear.

I just kept breathing and Cloud started to sway back and forth.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night." He sang softly in my ear.

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly." I sang back.

"All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise." Cloud and I sang together.

I felt like I finally had my feelings under control and I let go of Cloud.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked softly.

He bent over slightly to look me in the eyes. I shook my head.

"Not right now. We'll set up a tea sometime this week though." I said smiling slightly.

Cloud shared my smile and he took my hands.

"Yes we will." He said.

He gave my hands a squeeze and I let go. I turned and saw that Sirius was leaning against the wall opposite me. I heard Cloud close the door behind me, and Sirius smiled slightly. He pushed off the wall and I met him halfway across the room.

"Do you feel better?" Sirius asked, taking me in his arms.

I nodded and breathed in deep. Pine after the rain; such a lovely smell.

"I didn't realize that you hated being alone so much." Sirius said softly.

I sighed. "I know what you're thinking." I started, trying to explain away my fear.

But Sirius stopped me with a kiss.

"No, you don't. I don't feel any differently about you now that I know this. I won't treat you any differently, if you don't want me to. I can even start singing to you if you want." Sirius said with a chuckle.

I smiled. He was the sweetest guy I could ever hope to land.

"I didn't know you could sing." I said with a smile.

"You never asked." Sirius laughed.

I pulled away and kissed him softly on the lips. He pulled away all the way, but held on to one of my hands. We walked back to the tower and we went up the stairs to the bedroom. I was about to go up into my room, but Sirius stopped me.

"There is another room, you know." Sirius said softly.

I looked at him, confused.

"Your room is on the first landing, the boys' room is on the second landing but there is a third landing with another bedroom in it. I don't know why, but there is." Sirius said seriously.

"What are you trying to imply?" I asked in a whisper.

"I want to have some alone time with you." Sirius said, running a finger down my arm.

"Is this really right time?" I asked harshly.

"It's the best time. I need you, and I think you need me." Sirius said, looking deep into my eyes.

I sighed. I really didn't know what Sirius was getting at, but I really just wanted to sleep.

"Sirius, I want to go to bed tonight. I have to deal with a lot." I said softly.

I couldn't look him in the eye. Sirius sighed but I felt him nod. He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed it softly. He let go, and it fell to my side, limply. He didn't look at me before he started walking up the stairs. He didn't even wish me good night.

"Sirius." I said.

But he was gone. I opened the door and found Lily sitting on her bed, looking at me.

"You okay?" she asked softly.

I felt my lips shaking and my vision starting to blur. I shook my head, and ran into our bathroom. I closed and locked the door behind me. I made sure to seal it as well, just wanting to be alone. I slid down the back of it, the tears leaking out of my eyes. I kept in my sobs, trying to be quiet so no one would hear my sobs. I ripped my wife beater and sports bra off, throwing them in the corner.

Unfortunately, I spotted a button down shirt that Sirius had left in the bathroom. I crawled over to it and lifted it to my face. It smelled exactly like him. The scent only made me cry harder. I curled up on the floor, clutching the shirt to my chest for dear life. It felt like I had lost him just now. I heard Lily knock on the door after I don't know how long, but I didn't answer. I ended up crying myself to sleep on the floor.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Just as a quick announcement, I posted some pictures of the characters on my profile. Well, I should probably say LINKS to pictures of the characters, to be more accurate. Please go check them out and then come back and let me know in a review what you think. Thanks**


	18. Pushed Away

~Sirius's POV~

I saw Sky step up to face the boggart, and I tried to think of what she could be afraid of. As Moody opened the trunk, I expect any of the Slytherins to step out, especially my little brother. But the people that stepped out of the trunk were her brother, James, Remus, Lily, and myself. She looked at each one of them and, as soon as she did, they disappeared. The boggart version of myself reach out to her, and she tried to touch it, but it disappeared before she could. Then suddenly, the few lights we had in the Great Hall went out and she disappeared. Sky collapsed to the floor and started screaming.

"The dark! The dark! Get it off!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

I ran forward, and saw that she was digging at her eyes. I ran to her and I saw very briefly that the boggart had wrapped itself around her eyes, but she couldn't feel it. But before I could get a better view, it changed back into my father. Moody sent the boggart into the trunk. Sky was still screaming and clawing at her eyes, but the only thing holding them closed was her.

"Songbird." I said, bending down.

I tried to wrap my arms around her but she screamed wildly and pushed me away.

"Not again! You won't take me again! Never!" she screamed at the top of her voice.

I felt my heart break a little inside. She didn't want my help. She pushed me away. I stepped back as Dumbledore swept down and grabbed her forcefully by the face. He started to chant in a weird sort of language. I didn't recognize any spells, but whatever he was doing was calming her down. She stopped clawing at her face and her breathing was becoming deeper and calmer.

"Sky, open your eyes." Dumbledore said softly.

She paused for a second, as if trying to place the voice and then she finally opened her eyes. Those beautiful blue eyes were surrounded by scratch marks that she had inflicted on herself. None had drawn any blood, thanks largely in part to her habit of keeping her nails short, but there were some serious red marks. She looked around, as if she was checking off every face to make sure we were there. Then her eyes went wide.

"Cloud." She said, standing up.

She bolted from the room as fast as I've ever seen her go.

"Sky!" I heard James yell.

"She's going to make sure her brother is still alive. She needs to see it for herself." Dumbledore said wisely.

"But doesn't she realize that it was just a boggart?" Lily asked confused.

"After the trauma she's been through, I wouldn't think so. She was alone in the dark for 36 hours, her heart full of fear and worry and doubt. I was nervous that she would be afraid of the men that tortured her, but she has proven herself wiser than most." Dumbledore said.

I sighed agitated, and ran after Sky. Just as Dumbledore had predicted, I found her in her brother's arms.

"It's okay, sweetie. It's gonna be okay." He said in her ear.

I walked over a blank stretch of wall opposite them and leaned against it to watch them. I heard her taking deep breaths. Cloud looked up slightly and he locked eyes with me. I shook my head, not wanting to interrupt whatever they were doing. He blinked at me slowly, showing he understood. Cloud was swaying slightly, rocking her back and forth. I shoved my hands in my pockets and sighed silently.

"Blackbird singing in the dead of night." Cloud sang softly in her ear.

"Take these broken wings and learn to fly." Sky sang back, barely louder than him.

I loved her singing voice. It was usually clear and confident and sounded like angels. But right now it shook ever so slightly, and she sounded so shy and scared.

"All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise." The two siblings sang together.

Cloud rubbed her back gently, and I grit my teeth. He didn't know how much that hurt her; I knew personally how much she didn't like it. I heard Sky take a deep breath and she let go of Cloud. I hoped that she would turn around and look at me. But she looked at her brother.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked. He stooped down a little to look her in the eyes.

"Not right now. We'll set up a tea sometime this week though." She said.

I rolled my eyes. This was just another thing to split my time with her further. It seemed that we were just sleeping and studying and training lately, and I wanted to have some quality time with her. It felt like such a long time since the last time we had been truly alone together.

Sky suddenly turned and looked at me. I saw her jump ever so slightly. Cloud backed off and shut the door to his bedroom. I smiled slightly at her, knowing she needed me to be strong right now. I pushed off the wall and she met me halfway. I wrapped my arms around her tiny frame. She was losing weight which she didn't have. All of this stress wasn't good for her health. I wanted to tell Dumbledore that we needed a break, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Maybe I could get Cloud on my side.

"Do you feel better?" I asked.

She nodded and took a deep breath. I knew she loved the way I smelled, and it made me smile.

"I didn't realize that you hated being alone so much." I said softly.

I wasn't trying to insult her, but I was just trying to voice my own realization. She sighed.

"I know what you're thinking." She tried to start.

I stopped her quickly, covering her lips with mine. I wasn't even going to give her the chance to explain her fears away. I pulled away and she was silent.

"No, you don't. I don't feel any differently about you now that I know this. I won't treat you any differently, if you don't want me to. I can ever start singing to you if you want." I said with a little chuckle.

All of it was true. I had always wondered what her greatest fear was, and now that I knew she feared being alone, it made no difference to me. I wasn't going to go out of my way to make sure she was never left alone, because we were always in at least pairs nowadays. Sky smiled and I had to smile back. She had the most contagious smile.

"I didn't know you could sing." She said.

"You never asked." I said, laughing a little.

I wasn't great or anything, but it could get the job done. The job, in this case, was making sure that Sky felt she was loved. Sky leaned up and kissed me softly. I kissed her back, trying to show her how much I loved her. I pulled away and took one of her hands. I loved the way our hands fit together.

We walked back to the tower in silence and we walked up the stairs to her room. But before she walked into the room, I stopped her. I needed some alone time with her.

"There is another room, you know." I said softly.

I was speaking softly, because I wasn't sure if Lily had gone to bed or not. She looked at me confused.

"Your room is on the first landing, the boys' room is on the second landing and there is a third landing with another bedroom in it. I don't know why, but there is." I said seriously.

I was trying to tell her without saying it that I just wanted to be alone, just the two of us.

"What are you trying to imply?" she asked in a whisper.

She sounded so affronted, and I was starting sense we did not understand each other.

"I want to have some alone time with you." I said, running the back of my finger down her arm.

I meant it to be a loving gesture, but the look on her face said that she didn't see it like that.

"Is this really the right time?" she asked harshly.

"It's the best time. I need you, and I think you need me." I said, looking into her eyes.

I was trying to tell her with my eyes that I just wanted to get closer to her again. I felt like we were growing apart and I didn't want to lose her. She needed to know that I'd always be there for her, and I was getting the feeling that she wasn't getting that from me lately. She sighed. She looked down at the floor. That was not the reaction I was looking for.

"Sirius, I want to go to bed tonight. I have to deal with a lot." Sky said, her voice almost flat.

She couldn't even look me in the eye. I felt my heart break a little. She was blocking me out; she never used to do that. Is being afraid of something so difficult to deal with? I nodded, and lifted the hand I was holding to my lips. I kissed it softly, squeezing my eyes tight. I let go and turned. I walked up the stairs, not wanting to be near anyone right now.

"Sirius." I heard her say.

I stopped, considering if I should go back. But before I could decide, I heard her door open and close. I felt a tear leak out of my eyes. I practically ran up the stairs to the third bedroom, closing the door with more force than I had intended. I wanted to break things, but I felt that it would be rude considering that we were guests in this tower. I flopped face down on the bed and sighed, frustrated. I sat there for I don't know how long, but then I heard a knock on the door. I grunted to grant entrance to whoever it was.

"Sirius?" I heard a tentative, female voice ask.

I sat up and saw Lily standing there, her body half peaking in the door.

"What are you doing here? I thought you would have gone to bed by now." I said, surprised.

Lily walked in, followed shortly by James.

"I heard what happened between you and Sky." Lily said.

James ran a hand through his hair. I turned to look away from them.

"She cried herself to sleep in our bathroom." Lily said.

I felt like someone had punched me in the chest. I didn't realize that it hurt her so much.

"What made you think that it was good idea to suggest some "alone time" after such a traumatic training?" James asked, incredulous.

I knew he was throwing my own words back at me, trying to get me to see how much of an idiot I was. But, to be honest, I didn't need his help on that front.

"What makes you think I meant it like that?" I threw back at him.

They didn't understand that I never meant it the way they were thinking I meant it.

"What else are we supposed to think? And that "we" includes Sky. We all know your reputation, and our natural assumption is to think a less innocent meaning to the phrase "alone time"." Lily said.

I laughed hollowly. I knew they wouldn't get it.

"Maybe I wanted to spend some time with my girlfriend doing something other than study, sleep, or train. Maybe I just wanted some quality time with the person I love. God forbid I want to do something like that." I said sarcastically.

I flopped back down on the bed, signaling the end of the conversation. They stood there for a minute longer but eventually, they left. I rolled over and sealed the door closed with a wave of my wand and shut off the lights in the room with another. I had imagined spending this time with the woman I loved. But I was now spending it alone.

There was a dull ache in my chest, and the feeling was foreign to me. I guessed that this was what it felt like to be rejected. No wonder the girls I broke up with always cried when they saw me. This feeling sucked.


	19. Invitation

~Sky's POV~

I woke up after what seemed like only a few minutes, my heart racing and covered in cold sweat. I sat up quickly and looked around, confused. I was sitting on the rug in the middle of the bathroom floor. I had made a pillow out of a towel from the rack near the door and I was covered in another. I was naked from the waist up, and I had Sirius's shirt in my hand. But when I looked at the shirt, all of the events from yesterday came rushing back to be. The horrible training with the boggart; running to Cloud; coming back, Sirius asking for alone time; him not wishing me good night before we went to bed; and then finally falling asleep on the bathroom floor, crying my eyes out.

The argument, if you want to call it one, seemed so out of proportion, now that I was thinking about it rationally. Sirius just wanted to spend some time with me, nothing else. And I had been an idiot and just jumped to conclusions about what he meant without even asking. I had pushed him away, and I never should have. But I couldn't face him now, not after that. I felt so ashamed for not believing him, when I obviously should have.

Before I could get much further in my self-loathing, there was a sudden knock on the door. I held in a squeak, but jumped rather violently.

"Who is it?" I called.

I slipped Sirius's shirt on, just to cover myself up.

"It's me." I heard Sirius's voice call through the wood.

"Oh." I said, trying to keep the shame out of my voice.

The simple sound came out sounding hollow. I turned my back on the door and slid down to the floor.

"Don't sound too excited." Sirius said sarcastically.

His voice sounded so close to me.

"I just wasn't expecting you this early." I said, making up a quick lie.

"It's past noon." Sirius said simply.

"Oh." I said, my voice carrying the same tone as before.

We sat in the silence for a lengthy stretch of time. I was trying to figure out what to say. It felt like I would be letting him down if I admitted that I jumped to conclusions without giving him the benefit of the doubt. I knew I'd hurt him, and I didn't know how to make it up to him. He was always there for me, and I didn't deserve that after the way I treated him.

"You're wrong." Sirius said suddenly.

He wasn't cold, or reprimanding, or even defensive. He was just stating something. I felt like he was reading my mind, and it brought tears to my eyes.

"What about?" I asked, my voice cracking a little.

"Whatever you're thinking about right now, you're wrong." Sirius said, still very matter-of-fact.

A tear slipped down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"Because I have a feeling I know what you're thinking, and I know it's wrong." Sirius went on.

"What am I thinking then?" I asked curiously.

"You're thinking that you let me down, but you didn't. It hurt a little, yes, but that was just because you blocked me out. You're thinking that you're weak because of what happened and you're ashamed. Trust me, you have nothing to be ashamed of and you most certainly are not weak. I would kill to just have a fraction of your strength." Sirius said, his voice cracking at the end.

"Can I be ashamed of letting you down?" I asked, my tears coming faster.

"You never let me down." Sirius said softly.

I sat there, letting the tears fall some more. I reached over and picked up my wand.

"I'm coming out." I said, warning him.

I heard some footsteps and when they stopped, I waved my wand. I wrapped Sirius's shirt a little tighter around me, and I opened the door. Sirius was standing there, like he always was, waiting for me. I shuffled over to him and he wrapped his strong arms around me. I took a deep breath, comforted by his familiar smell. I had almost forgotten how right it felt to be in his arms, and now that I was there again, it felt like going home.

"Do you want to go downstairs?" Sirius asked after a moment.

"Can I put on one of my shirts first?" I asked back.

"But you look sexy like that." Sirius said, sounding a little disappointed.

"Oh, you are such a boy." I scoffed.

I pushed him away slightly and saw that he was grinning fiendishly. I rolled my eyes and walked over to my wardrobe. I looked over my shoulder and saw that Sirius had turned around out of respect for me. I quickly threw on a bra and a t-shirt at random. I turned around and cleared my throat, telling Sirius that I was done. He quickly walked over to me, took my hand and we both walked down the stairs to the living room.

When Sirius and I reached the living room, we found everyone standing around the table. We hurried over and saw that my owl, Moon, and Lily's owl, Teddy, were sitting on the table. They had large golden envelopes on their legs with black, red, and green ribbons tying them to our owls.

"What's going on?" I asked confused.

"They flew in about ten minutes ago." James said slowly.

"What are they?" I asked.

"I think they're owls." Sirius whispered intensely.

I rolled my eyes at his attempt to break the tension.

"They're the invites." Lil said, swallowing hard.

I thought about it for a moment and then I sucked in a gasp.

"What invites?" Remus asked confused.

"Slug Club Christmas Party." Lily said like she was announcing her death sentence.

"The Slug Club Christmas Party? That's it?" James asked.

I nodded gravely. I reached forward and took the envelope off of my owl's leg. Lily repeated the gesture shortly after. I popped the wax seal and, sure enough, inside the elaborate envelope was an even more elaborate invitation to the annual Christmas Party given by Professor Slughorn.

For the last couple of years, Lily and I just tossed the invites in the fire, not wanting to go through the pretense of mingling with the snobs. But this invitation felt different somehow. For one, these invitations were more elaborate than any other invitations we had ever received. But it just felt different; I couldn't figure out what felt different, though.

"So, now what?" Lily asked with a sigh.

I shrugged, looking back at the invite. The dress code was black tie, which added another level of complication. There was only one trip to Hogsmeade before the party and I needed that time to go Christmas shopping.

"Are you guys going to go?" Remus asked.

I shrugged, not sure.

"I'm not." Lily said firmly.

I looked at her confused and curious.

"Why not?" James asked.

"I refuse to mingle civilly with those scumbags." Lily said, just as firm.

My eyebrows shot up and my mouth formed a small "o". I didn't even think about that. People from every House, and almost every year would be invited and, despite all that they've done, Slughorn had a special place in his heart for Regulas and Snape. They most certainly would get invites. This additional information made up my mind.

"Then we're not going." I said.

I crossed the room and was about to toss my invite in the fire, but Sirius stopped me.

"Wait, why not go?" he asked.

"Well, let's see. Two out of the seven people that tried to kill me will be there, for starters. Not to mention the hassle of sneaking off school grounds to do decent dress shopping, because I'm sure as hell not going to do it during the Hogsmeade trip." I said sort of sarcastically.

Sirius rolled his eyes at my shopping excuse and chose to ignore it.

"So we're just going to avoid them? Why not face them and show them we're not afraid?" Sirius said intensely.

He had a strange glint in his eyes. I couldn't place where I'd seen that look before, but I wasn't entirely sure I liked it. I sighed and looked at my invitation again. I really didn't want to face them, but Sirius had a point. We had been effectively been avoiding them for months now, and, to them, it probably gave off the impression that we were afraid of them. This wasn't entirely false, but it was mildly irritating that our actions might be interpreted that way. I had to face them eventually, and it might as well be somewhere they couldn't hurt me.

I looked at Lily and she looked a little desperate. I sighed, again, slightly defeated. My inner girly-girl wanted any excuse to get dressed up, and Sirius's logic was water tight.

"When are we going dress shopping?" I asked Lily.

She groaned. She knew that there was no point in trying to tell me that she didn't want to go. I had a legitimate excuse not to go, and if I was going, she should be going. I would have guilt-tripped her into going, anyway. James and Sirius high-fived each other. I rolled my eyes.

The weeks between that day and the end of term went faster than I was comfortable with. The last Hogsmeade trip of the term came and went, and I did all of my Christmas shopping that day. Lily and I were going to go shopping during one of the days between the end of the term and the party. We did some preliminary shopping, just to get an idea of what we wanted to wear. I was considering getting a dress that completely covered my back, but Sirius convinced me that, if I was going to face my enemies, I should at the very least make a statement while doing so. He hadn't banned me from wearing a dress with a back, but claimed he would be "highly disappointed" if I took "the easy way out".

Trainings continued on their regular schedule and had returned to the "normal" kind. We started Extreme Potion Making, as I liked to call it, shortly after the boggart incident. It was Extreme because we were learning to brew potions that would normally take between a day and a month the mature in under two hours. These processes often involved volatile ingredients and careful hands, neither of which Peter had. It often resulted in small, but catastrophic, failures. He was never seriously injured, but he did sustain some slight burns once.

Thankfully, Dumbledore was giving us Christmas break off from training. He told us that because trainings counted as our Defense Against the Dark Arts class, he had to give us the time off. Personally, I thought that Cloud got involved and demanded that we be given some time off. But whatever the reason, I was glad for the break.

Peter said he would be going home, at the request of his parents. I personally had no qualms with this. I had been limiting the social interaction between the two of us since my incident. I was staying because the only person I would be going home to see was at Hogwarts. Sirius was staying because he really had nowhere else to go. Lily was staying because she didn't want to deal with her sister Petunia and her new boyfriend, Vernon. James claimed he was staying because his parents were going on vacation, but I knew he was staying because he wanted to ask Lily out. He had confessed to Sirius that he wanted to, but wanted to make it special. I, of course, heard this information from Sirius. Remus could go home, but was staying with the rest of us because the full moon fell during the break and he wanted to be with us.

I had hoped that, with Peter leaving, I would be going with Remus, Sirius, and James, but they insisted on my staying with Lily during the full moon. After much arguing, I had agreed. I only did it because Lily pulled a guilt trip on me, claiming that she didn't want to be alone. Reluctantly, I had agreed.

I was very happy when classes ended. I would get some time to relax and spend some time with Sirius. We had been trying, but sometime always seemed to pop up. Teachers were slamming seventh years with homework; trainings were still exhausting me; I was doing my own kind of personal training on the side, determined not to become skin and bones; and my weekly training with Cloud had turned into a weekly tea.

Yes, I was looking forward to Christmas break immensely.


	20. Slight Redemption for Peter

The first day of break dawned bright and sunny. I had been woken up by the sunlight streaming in through the window of my room. I jumped out of bed and looked outside. There was a significant layer of snow over everything and the light coming off of the landscape was dazzling. I sighed happily, and I looked over to Lily's bed. As usual, it was empty. She always seemed to wake up before me, nowadays. I put on my dressing gown and walked down to the living room.

As I approached, I heard laughter. I smiled to myself; I could tell it was Lily and James that were laughing by the timbre of the voices. Lily had a high, clear laugh while James had a throatier, deep laugh. They sounded wonderful together, as if the sounds were designed to be made together. When I reached the living room, I found that Lily and James were sitting at the breakfast bar, mugs in their hands. They were sitting sort of close to each other and looked at me when I entered.

"Good morning. Did you make the tea already?" I asked happily.

Lily nodded and I walked over to the pot on the stove. I poured myself a cup and turned back to Lily and James.

"So when are we going dress shopping? The party is in four days." I asked, taking a sip.

"We could go today, if you like. You could borrow the Map from Remus when he wakes up and then we could head out in an hour or two." Lily said, looking behind her at the grandfather clock in the corner of the room. It had been place there about a week or so after we had moved in.

"What about me?" I heard someone say sleepily.

I looked and saw that Remus was shuffling down the stairs and to the table.

"Tiger and I just wanted to go shopping and we need the Map. Do you want a cup, Moony?" I asked, raising my mug.

"Sure. And the Map is in my bedside table. You can get it whenever Sirius wakes up." Remus said.

I poured him a cup of tea, adding two cubes of sugar and a dash of honey, just the way he liked it. I walked the cup over to him, sitting down as I did so.

"It feels so nice to actually have a break." I said stretching out.

"Tell me about it." Lily chuckled.

"No classes, no trainings, time to sleep in. My birthday is coming up. This is perfect." I said with a happy sigh.

Everyone else sighed happily and we sat in silence, just drinking our tea. All of us sat in comfortable silence long after we had finished our tea. I heard the grandfather clock strike the hour. I sighed, irritated. Sirius's "Sky-sense", as he called it, should have started tingling the moment I woke up, signaling that it was time for him to wake up. It was weird for him not to be down in the living room within an hour of my awakening. I stood up and put my empty cup in the sink.

"I'm going to get the Map." I announced.

Everyone let out sighs as I walked to the staircase. I heard Lily call me back, but I ignored her. I jogged quickly up the stairs and threw the door to the boys' bedroom open without hesitation. Upon entering, I saw that the room was empty, but I heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. All of the beds were neatly made, so I assumed it was probably Sirius in the shower.

I quickly walked over to Remus's bedside table. I opened the drawer and the map was sitting there blank, just as promised. Then suddenly, a door opened and closed and there was a squeak of surprise. I turned and saw that Peter was standing in front of the bathroom door, toothbrush and toothpaste in hand. His eyes were wide with surprise, obviously not expecting me. He was leaving with the rest of the school in a couple of hours on the train back to London.

"I came up to grab the Map, so Lily and I can go dress shopping." I said, my tone taking on the formal air I now used whenever Peter and I were alone.

"Oh." He replied, still staring at me with wide, surprised eyes.

We stood in awkward silence, the sound of running water filling the tense air.

"Well, I'll be going now." I said.

I started to cross the room but Peter stopped me.

"You know I am sorry, right? About what they did to you?" he asked, soft and tentative.

I turned back and stared at him. This was the first time in months that anyone, let alone Peter, had brought that up.

"I had a feeling. It doesn't change what happened, though." I said, still cold and formal.

"That had Gabby. They told me the same thing that they were going to do to you, they would do to her if I didn't help them." Peter said, lowering his eyes to the floor.

Gabby was Peter's youngest sister, being only seven-years-old. He had two older sisters (one that had finished school the year before we entered and another that finished our third year) but Gabby was special in Peter's heart, and we all knew it. I stood there for a moment, considering him. He had an air of genuine regret about him, and I knew he wasn't the type to lie about something this serious.

"Is she okay now?" I asked.

Peter nodded. "They let her go the morning they grabbed you." He said.

As I looked at Peter, I could almost feel sorry for him. If I had been in his shoes and Cloud was being held captive, I don't know what I wouldn't do to get him back. Regardless, this explanation still didn't make up for what he did on the train.

But before I could think much more, the water in the bathroom shut off, signaling the end of Sirius's shower. Peter and I locked gazes, for a moment and he nodded, showing he understand what I was thinking. I quickly let the room and bounded down to the living room.

Everyone was still sitting where I had left them, but they had started up a conversation that ended when I entered the room. I decided to ignore this slightly suspicious behavior. I held up the Map and smiled. Lily smiled back and we both headed up the stairs again to our room. We passed Peter on the way down dragging his trunk, but he avoided eye contact with either of us. When we reached our room, Lily immediately jumped in the shower. I had showered the previous night, so I just started getting dressed.

I chose a strapless bra, because I didn't know what sort of dresses I'd be trying on. On top of that, I wore a black shirt and a pair of jeans. I wore a zip up hoodie and my green converse all-stars. I had my black wool pea coat and green gloves sitting on my bed, waiting for Lily to finish so I could put them on. Lily finished her shower and dresses in a grey turtleneck sweater, black wool leggings with a red mid-thigh length skirt. She wore mid-shin length suede boots, a bright yellow wool pea coat and black fingerless gloves that could change into mittens. After we bundled up and the Map was securely in my pocket, we descended the stairs.

The boys were gathered around the kitchen table in a heated, but friendly, debate about which Quidditch teams were going to the World Cup. When they spotted Lily and I, the conversation stopped.

"You leaving now, then?" Remus asked.

Lily and I nodded.

"Stay out of trouble." James said with a laugh.

I gasped in mock offense.

"Us? Get into trouble.? Prongs, I'm offended that you would even suggest it." I said dramatically.

We all laughed and then Sirius stood up and walked over to me. He put his hands on my hips.

"Stay safe, please?" Sirius asked softly.

He had true concern shining in his stormy eyes. I smiled than leaned up and kissed his nose playfully.

"I always am." I said reassuringly.

Sirius tended to worry about my safety constantly and while I appreciated the gentlemanly gesture, sometimes I felt he went a little overboard. He was turning into a worry wart and I didn't like it. Sirius leaned down and kissed my lips tenderly. We only broke apart when Lily cleared her throat obnoxiously. Sirius let me go and Lily and I walked out into the hallway.


	21. Hell Bent

A short ways away from the entrance to the tower, we stopped and I pulled out the Map and my wand. I tapped the Map and muttered, "I solemnly swear I'm up to no good." The writing on the Map sprouted from the tip of my wand and I quickly flipped to our location.

Lily and I moved stealthily around the castle to the entrance of the secret passage out of the castle to the outskirts of Hogsmeade. We had to stop a few times to avoid Mr. Filtch and Mrs. Norris, but we successfully made our way behind the giant mirror. There was a set of earthen stairs that led to a winding passage. The cold air from outside was leaking in to the passage, making me very thankful for my winter coat and gloves.

When we walked beyond the limits of the Map, I cleared it and put it in my coat pocket. Shortly after that, we reached the exit to the passage, which was an out-of-order outhouse a short ways into the woods. Lily and I snuck out of the outhouse and found the road leading into town with ease.

This was our passage of choice for getting to Hogsmeade; the one into Honeydukes was too obvious unless the place was packed and there was really no way out of the Shrieking Shack. Lily and I entered the dress store and the chime on the door went off pleasantly. The woman behind the counter smiled and nodded as we passed, but otherwise left us alone. Lily and I immediately started looking through the many racks to find something.

"What's the dress code again?" Lily asked with a sigh after about five minutes of searching.

"Black tie." I said.

I gagged a little a frilly pink ball gown and Lilly chuckled.

"So black or white then?" she asked.

"I wouldn't say only those two colors specifically, but I guess we could." I said with a shrug.

"Because I found your perfect dress." Lily said, her voice edging on excitement.

I looked and saw that she was holding up a black and white halter style dress. I shrugged.

"I'll try it on, then." I said.

An employee swooped down and took the dress from Lily to take back to a dressing room. We continued flipping through the dress for about twenty more minutes. Then suddenly my hand landed on a gorgeous black and white gown. It had one shoulder strap and was divided vertically down the center, one half of the dress being white and the other black. It showed a little too much skin than I was comfortable with, seeing as I had my scars, but I was betting that Lily would look amazing in it.

"Since you picked out a dress for me, I picked out one for you to try on." I said.

I held up the dress for her and she looked skeptical. She agreed to try it on, but I could tell she had mixed feelings about it. After about twenty more minutes, and after a couple more dresses were picked out, Lily and I headed back to the dressing rooms.

Lily tried on her dresses first and I waited so I could give my opinions. The first dress she came out in was absolutely hideous. It was a high-low style dress and the skirt was made of ruffles. I recovered from my laughing fit long enough to tell her to take it off as soon as possible. Lily then tried on a simple little black dress. It was knee length and very modest. There was absolutely no decoration on it at all, and it was just so boring. Lily and I agreed that this was NOT the dress.

The last dress she tried on was the one I picked out. When she stepped out of the dressing room, my jaw dropped to my knees. Every curve she had was hugged by the dress, but in an extremely flattering way. Lily looked sexy and mysterious, and she didn't even have to do anything to her hair or make-up to look that way.

"So what do you think?" she asked, spinning to give me the full effect of the dress.

"James is going to die of happiness when he sees you in that." I said laughing.

"Who said I'm going with James?" Lily questioned, slightly defensive.

She crossed her arms over her chest and huffed a little. I rolled my eyes.

"You mean you haven't asked him yet? Tiger, you promised you would." I said, sort of scolding her.

"That was before I got a letter this morning." Lily muttered.

"A letter? From who?" I asked quickly.

"Who else do I get letters from besides you and the boys?" she asked back softly, glancing around to make sure we weren't being overheard.

The gesture was completely unnecessary because we were the only ones in the store and the girl at the counter was absorbed in her copy of _Witch Weekly_. Regardless, I got Lily's message loud and clear. Her family didn't understand the owl post system, and she only had one other wizard friend, if you want to call him that.

"Snape? What does he want?" I asked incredulously.

I knew Lily had been friends with him for a while, but then he called her a Mudblood at the end of our fifth year. I had been almost positive that the friendship had been terminated, but this letter changed my mind.

"He wants to see me tonight." Lily said.

She was looking at her feet. I looked at her hard.

"Well, you aren't going to go, right?" I said.

"I'm not sure. He was my very best friend, Songbird. He was there for me when my sister wasn't and before I really got to know you. I feel like I owe it to him. I didn't really give him much of a chance last time the two of us talked." Lily sighed.

She sat down in the other plush arm chair next to me.

"You do remember he kidnapped me, tortured me, and left me for dead, right?" I asked, chuckling ironically.

"Yeah, but he was my best friend. I sort of left him without much of an explanation as to why we couldn't be friends anymore. I at least owe him that." Lily said, starting to get irritated.

"The moment he called you a Mudblood was the moment you stopped owing him anything. And he shouldn't really need an explanation." I said coldly.

"That's not the point." Lily said.

She was still avoiding my eyes. I sighed; I could never understand how she could like Snape. He was vile and cruel, and I thought that before he tried to kill me.

"You're Hell bent on this, aren't you Tiger?" I sighed.

Lily hesitated, but nodded all the same.

"Then I'm going with you. I'll nick the Invisibility Cloak and follow you. I don't want you to go without some back up. God only knows whether or not this is a trap." I said.

Lily looked up and smiled at me.

"Thanks, Songbird. Thanks for understanding." She said.

She got up and hugged me tightly. I might not completely understand why she feels the need to see that would be-murderer, but I could at least support her. I hugged her back, trying to shake the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

"So you really think this is it?" she asked.

"Yes, definitely. If you don't buy it, I will and I'll force you to wear it." I said with a chuckle.

"Well, if you insist." Lily said, giggling playfully.

She went back into the dressing room and came back out in her casual clothes, the dress draped over her arm.

A/N: I know this one is short, but I promise things will get better! This is just the start of all the action! Please review with your ideas/suggestions. I may use them in a future chapter. Think post-Hogwarts ideas because I've got enough action to last through the end of the school year.


	22. That Long Awaited Day

I hopped out of my chair and went into the dressing room Lily just left. I only had two dresses to try on, because all of the other dresses that myself or Lily had picked up showed too much of my back. I slipped into the dress that Lily had picked out and was met with an unpleasant surprise.

The dress was absolutely gorgeous. The dress had a flowing skirt and was mostly black expect for a couple of panels that looked like the bottom of a pool in the sunlight except in black and white. The dress had a halter neck and a plunging cleavage line. But unfortunately, the entire back of the dress was open. All of my scars, except the one on my stomach would show no matter how I styled my hair. I sighed as I looked at m reflection in the mirror. I looked stunning in the dress, but I just couldn't get over the open back.

"You okay in there?" Lily asked outside the door.

"Yeah but I don't know if I want to come out." I said hesitantly.

"It can't be that bad." Lily said with a chuckle.

I sighed, realizing that I wouldn't get out of this. I walked over to the door and braced myself. I opened the door and saw that Lily was shocked. I knew it was a good shocked but I still wasn't happy about it.

"Sirius is going to love it." Lily said after I stepped on the little pedestal. The dress had a little bit of a train, so I had to be careful of it.

"Who said I was buying it?" I asked defensively.

Lily gave me a "really?" sort of look and I rolled my eyes at her.

"Sirius would want you to buy this one. You look absolutely stunning in it." Lily said.

I looked at my reflections in the three-way mirror. Objectively, I couldn't argue with her; the dress fir me like a glove. But I just couldn't get over how exposed my back was.

"I'm going to at least try on the other one. I want options." I said with a sigh.

Lily sat back in her chair with a "humph". She crossed her arms over her chest and put on her pouting face. I rolled my eyes as I walked back to the dressing room but I didn't say anything. I couldn't help but notice how the dress flowed around me as I walked.

The other dress I had was one I picked out. It was all white with an empire waist. It was one-shoulder with an embellishment where the strap attached to the dress. The dress was soft and flowing and gave me an ethereal look. And the best part: almost my entire back was covered and the part that wasn't covered could be covered if I left my hair down. I felt significantly less panicky in this dress. But there was a naggy little voice in my head that was saying this dress couldn't half a candle to the first one. I chose to ignore that little voice. I walked out to show Lily and I could tell immediately that she was minimally thrilled, at best.

"What do you think?" I asked even though I could tell what she was probably thinking.

"It's nice. You look pretty and everything, don't get me wrong, but it's just nice." Lily said slowly, as if she was choosing every word carefully.

"Tell me how you really feel." I said with subtle sarcasm.

"If you insist. This dress is just safe. The other dress said, "Here I am, and if you don't like it, S my D". This dress just says, "I'm here, but not because I want to be". If you want to show those punks that you're not afraid of them, then you'll wear the other dress." Lily said, obviously not picking up on my sarcasm.

I sighed and looked in the three-way mirror. I looked objectively at the features of the dress and tried to compare it to the other dress. If I was going to be completely honest with myself, this dress paled in comparison to the first dress. I looked almost shapeless in the dress I was wearing, but in a semi-flattering way. All of my imperfections could be hidden in this dress, and if I was being completely honest with myself, that's why I liked it so much. I could hide and I felt safe. In the other dress, I couldn't hide myself or my flaws. I couldn't decide if I wanted to hide or be seen, and that was what was keeping me from choosing a dress.

"I'm going to get both." I said softly.

"What? Why?" Lily asked confused.

"I can't choose and if you make me, we'll be here forever. I'm getting both so I can do the choosing later." I said a little more harshly than I had intended.

Lily's eyes widen and she blinked several times. I sighed and got down from the little pedestal. I went back into the dressing room and changed back into my regular clothes. Lily didn't say anything as we paid for our dresses and almost the entire way back to Hogwarts. However, she stopped me right at the bottom of the dirt stairs back into the castle.

"Are you still going with me tonight?" she asked.

"Of course. Just because I can't pick a dress doesn't mean I won't back you up." I said with a chuckle.

"Maybe you'll get some help picking a dress tonight too." Lily said.

We smiled at each other and continued up the stairs. At the top of the stairs, James had left the Invisibility Cloak as we had planned. I had suggested this because we couldn't really deny an unauthorized trip to Hogsmeade when we were carrying dresses. So Lily and I crouched under the Cloak and walked undetected back to our tower.

When we arrived, we saw that the boys were busy with separate projects. Remus was working on some homework that probably wasn't due for a month, James was doing the dishes, and Sirius was absorbed in a book on the couch. No one looked up when we entered, so Lily and I just walked our dresses up to our room. I also deposited the Cloak there as well, hiding it between the mattress and the box spring of my bed. When Lily and I were satisfied that the Cloak was well hidden and our dresses were safe, we headed back down to the living room. All of the boys were exactly where we left them.

I glanced at the clock in the corner; it was almost five in the afternoon. I was shocked that it was long as well. I sat on the couch next to Sirius and Lily sat at the breakfast bar. Everything just seemed so peaceful. I smiled happily and curled into a ball. I leaned against Sirius's arm and he automatically shifted so he had his arm around me. He was still reading, but it felt nice that he automatically moved to fit me. I closed my eyes and let myself relax. I almost dozed off, but then James broke the silence.

"How was shopping?" he asked casually.

"Good. We both found something to wear." Lily answered.

"What colors?" Sirius asked without looking up from his book.

"Black and white. It IS a black tie event." Lily said.

"You got me covered, Pads?" James asked from across the room.

"As long as you're going, Prongs." Sirius said.

"Am I going?" James asked, his voice now hesitant and soft.

I kept my eyes closed and held my breath. This was the moment we had almost been waiting for: the day Lily says "yes" to James.

"Of course you are." Lily said chuckling.

I didn't even need to sit up to see James's reaction. I knew that his face would light up like the Christmas Tree in Rockefeller Plaza. But I sat up anyway to confirm. As I had suspected, James looked like he had just been told that he was getting all of his birthdays at once and that day was today. I half expected him to leap across the breakfast bar and start snogging Lily, but he showed more restraint than I ever thought one human could possess. He just said "Alright then" and changed the subject. I smiled and leaned back onto Sirius.

"What does your dress look like?" Sirius asked, his voice almost a whisper.

I paused before I answered. I was deciding whether to tell him the truth or to stretch that truth a little. Since I still hadn't picked a dress, I decided a little stretching was needed.

"It's a surprise." I said.

That wasn't a lie; it would be a surprise because, knowing me, I probably wouldn't be able to pick a dress until the night of the party. So it would be a surprise, but probably not just for him.

We sat there for a while, just listening to Lily and James talk without really hearing what they were saying. I dozed for a while and then Sirius woke me up to eat. By the looks of things, it looked like James and Remus went to the kitchens and got food for dinner. I could tell because the castle wasn't burning down. We sat down and ate and during the meal, I happened to glance at the clock. It was a little after eight at night. That was when I realized that I had no idea what time Lily and I were meeting Snape. I decided to ask her when we "went to bed" tonight. That happened about an hour and a half later.

"So what time are we going?" I asked once our door was lock and sealed.

"He said midnight in front of the library. We used to meet there from time to time before we had our falling out." Lily said.

She was busy changing into different clothes. I didn't know why, but I decided not to push it. Instead, I sat down and wrote a note to the boys. It felt right to at least have a back-up plan just in case this meeting went sour. I wrote a simple note explaining that Lily and I had gone to meet Snape at midnight in front of the library. We weren't sure of his intent and that I had my mirror but we left the Map behind just in case things went really bad.

I sealed the note in an envelope and cast a spell that prevented the note from being opened until tomorrow at sunrise. That way, if the meeting went bad, the boys could find out within hours and alert the Order, but if the meeting went fine, we could destroy the note before they could read it. I pulled the Cloak from beneath my mattress and put the Map on my bed where they could find it easily. Lily was ready to go and I heard the clock strike 11:30 down in the living room. We both looked at each other and nodded.


	23. Closure

We walked out of the room and headed in opposite directions. I headed upstairs to the boys' room so I could slide the note under the door and Lily headed down to the living room to wait for me. I tip toed up the stairs, trying to be as quiet as a church mouse. When I reached the landing, I nearly had a heart attack. James was standing there, leaning casually against the door frame. I jumped when I saw him and stared at him, wide-eyed.

"Did you really think you could get away with not returning my Cloak?" he whispered.

"I am going to return it. I just need it for a bit longer." I whispered back. I was blinking a lot, trying to get over the shock.

"What for?" James asked seriously.

"Something. You'll just have to trust me on this one, Prongs. You WANT me to have this tonight." I said intensely.

"Where are you going?" James asked suddenly nervous and tense.

I took a deep breath and considered the situation for a moment. I could tell him the truth, but then run the risk of him wanting to come along. Or I could lie and run the risk of him forcing me to give him back the Cloak. So I decided on a middle-of-the-road solution.

"With Lily. I'm not telling you why so don't even ask. I'll tell you that if I don't go, she'll be going alone. So just trust me on this one." I said. I was talking low and fast.

As I was talking, James's eyes grew steadily wider. When I finished, he swallowed and was silent. After the briefest of pauses, James nodded. I held out the note.

"These are the details. It won't open until sunrise. I'll come and knock if we've made it back okay. Destroy it when that happens. If we don't make it back before sunrise, you know what to do." I said still in the same low and intense tone.

James nodded as he took the note, now suddenly very serious. We looked at each other for a long moment. It was just in that moment that I had a surge of affection for the man before me. It wasn't anything romantic, but it just dawned on me how much James meant to me. Here he was, trusting me to take care of one of the most important, if not the, most important thing in his life, not a single question asked.

"Thank you, so much." I said softly.

"No problem." James replied.

We stood there for another moment, and I felt the urge to hug him. But before I could, I heard my name echoing up the stairs. James's face changed and I understood the expression within seconds. He was telling me to take care of her and warning me of what would happen if I didn't all at the same time. I nodded and then turned and ran down the stairs. I nearly collided with Lily, who was standing at the very foot.

"What took so long?" she asked in a harsh whisper.

"Complications arose, ensued, and we overcome." I said, striding across the room.

"What do you mean, complications?" Lily asked.

"Don't worry about it." I said dismissively.

Lily didn't reply, but I'd have bet anything she rolled her eyes. At the foot of the staircase between the doors, I paused to remove my shoes.

"What are you doing?" Lily whispered.

"Not taking any chances. Snape probably won't do anything if he thinks you're alone. I don't know what he'll do if he finds out you're not." I said.

Lily sighed but waited all the same.

We left the tower and I threw the cloak around me. I walked slightly behind Lily for a couple of floors but stopped her for a moment when we were about a floor away.

"How close do you want me?" I breathed.

Lily jumped as if she had forgotten I was there. "Not too far. As close as you think you can get without being detected." She whispered.

I nodded and then remembered that she couldn't see me so I vocalized it. We walked down to the library corridor. I slipped into an alcove behind a statue about 30 yards from the doors to the library. I saw Lily square her shoulders about ten yards from me and then she continued on to the doors. When she reached them, she stood there, almost awkwardly. But then a moment later, a slimy voice rang out that sent a shiver down my spine.

"You're late." Snape said, stepping out from the shadows.

"Complications arose, ensued, and were overcome." Lily replied coldly.

I rolled my eyes.

"I didn't think you were going to come." Snape said after a pause.

His voice was different now. It was soft, warm, and almost tender now. The difference was so monumental; it took all the self control I possessed to stop from gasping audibly.

"I almost didn't." Lily said. She was stone cold despite the change in Snape.

"I wanted to ask you something." Snape said.

He took a step closer to her, but Lily took a step back, maintaining the distance between them.

"Well, ask it and be done with it. I don't have all night." Lily said harshly.

I raised my eyebrows. With the way she had been talking earlier, I expected some emotional gush-fest. But this cold Lily, reminiscent of the first couple of years I knew her, was completely unexpected. Snape sighed and looked like he was gathering his courage. He obviously had not been expecting cold Lily either.

"Are you going to Slughorn's Christmas party?" he asked with a forced casual air.

"Yes." Lily said simply.

"Are you taking someone?" Snape asked.

He sounded like he was almost talking through his teeth now. He took another step forward but Lily didn't step back.

"Yes." She said again.

But this time she didn't sound as strong. She hugged her torso and her shoulders slouched.

"Who?" Snape asked.

I could barely hear the word because it was so soft. Snape took another step forward and the two were in arms' reach of each other.

"James." Lily said. Her voice was now soft and almost shy.

"Potter? You're taking that insufferable toe rag?" Snape spat.

His voice was back to his usual tone and volume. He took three steps away from Lily, a distinct look of disgust on his face. Lily straightened up, fire in her eyes.

"He is NOT an insufferable toe rag, and I'd thank you not to call him that in my presence." Lily said hotly.

"What about all of the things he's said to me? The things he's done to embarrass you? What about that?" Snape asked bitterly.

"He's a changed person. He's kind and loyal and selfless, once you really get to know him." Lily said, a small smile creeping onto her face.

Snape scoffed. "It sounds like you're in love with the blood traitor." He said, spitting out the words as though they were poison.

I pulled out my wand, sensing a fight.

"I may not love him yet, but I might sometime in the future. It sounds sort of like a fairy tale. The Mudblood and the blood traitor." Lily said strongly.

"Lils, you're not a—"

"Don't call me that. It's Evans to you now. And don't even deny it. You know you call me that to your Death Eater friends. Don't give me that look. I know what you are or at least what you intend to be." Lily said venomously.

"I would never—"

"Then why did you try to kill Sky?" Lily shot at him.

Snape's gaze faltered and he looked at his feet. Lily waited for him to speak but he didn't.

"Now you listen here, Snape, and you listen well. I came here tonight thinking that you might apologize for all that you've done and I was willing to hear you out. But now I see that you only are crawling to me on your slimy belly to try and win me back. Well, I'm telling you it won't happen this time."

"But—"

"No Snape! I'm sick of your lies! I'm sick of your games! What you did to me could be forgivable, but what you've done to my friends is unacceptable." Lily said.

Snape was staring at her and I could tell he was on the verge of tears. Lily, however, looked stronger than ever.

"What are you saying?" he asked, his voice breaking at the end.

"I'm saying that this will be the last time I ever speak to you civilly. I've had enough of you and your friends. I'm moving on, and I suggest you do the same." Lily said.

She turned on her heel and started to walk away. But Snape called her name and she stopped. She didn't turn around, but she did stop, which was more than what I'd have done.

"There's still time, you know. They're planning something and there's still time to get out. But there was be for long." He said.

Lily turned on her heel again to face him.

"You know the reason I'm in Gryffindor and you aren't? It's because I don't use lies to manipulate the people around me. I'm not a coward." Lily practically shouted.

She turned on her heel on last time and walked away quickly. I followed after her and I glanced back at Snape. He was staring at Lily's back and by the light of the waxing moon, I saw tears running down his face. I followed Lily, fully expecting to find her in some extreme state of emotion. I expected her to be either fuming or sobbing by the time we reached the tower, but she was neither. She was eerily calm for someone who had just been through what she had been through.

When we reached the living room, I removed the Cloak and looked at her. "You all right, Tiger?" I asked hesitantly.

"Strangely, yeah. That was oddly liberating, actually." Lily said brightly.

I looked at her, my brow furrowed. "You're going to have to explain that one." I said, my voice showing my confusion.

"For the longest time, it was weird between us. He and his friends were saying awful things about the boys behind their backs and I didn't know how to handle it. If I told you, you'd tell the boys and it would've been World War III. Then when he called me that foul name, I just ended it without letting him explain himself because I figured if he was saying those things about the boys behind their backs, Lord only knew what he was saying behind my back. I went tonight to see if he had changed and he obviously hadn't, so I ended whatever we had permanently." Lily babbled.

"So how is that liberating?" I asked, still not seeing how ending a friendship, even one with an ass-hat like Snape, could be liberating.

"It's like closure. I wasn't sure where we stood before, but now I do. I'm not saying this doesn't hurt a little; he WAS my best friend. But that's one less thing I have to worry about now." Lily said with a smile.

She turned and bounded up the stairs. I rolled my eyes and followed her after a minute. But I passed the door to our room and went up one more landing. I folded the Cloak neatly and set it on the floor in front of the door and then knocked softly. I was betting that James was still awake, but I still dashed down the stairs before the door could open to avoid an interrogation.

When I arrived in my room, I found Lily already in bed with her back to me. I quickly changed and crawled into my own bed. I sighed and closed my eyes, thankful for the chance at one more day to live.

God only knew how many of those I had left.


	24. A Decision at Last

I woke up on the morning of the party like someone had screamed in my ear. I was having a nightmare, but now that I was awake, I couldn't remember it. I sighed and looked at Lily's bed. It was empty and pristinely made, telling me that she had been up for a relatively significant period of time. I rolled over and looked at my clock. It was nearly one in the afternoon. I got up, put on my dressing gown, and headed downstairs.

When I got there, I found that Lily, James and Sirius were having tea at the breakfast bar. The only one dressed was Sirius, so I assumed that the other two had woken up rather recently. I walked behind the breakfast bar to stand next to Sirius. He smiled while slipping an arm around my shoulders in a warm side hug.

"Morning, love. How'd you sleep?" Sirius asked brightly.

I shrugged. "I slept, which is a vast improvement." I said with a sigh.

"Small victories." James said with a cheeky smile.

He raised his cup and drank to his own toast. We all chuckled at the joke.

"Not excited for the party tonight, I take it." Sirius said conversationally.

I shook my head. I still hadn't picked a dress yet and I was still unsure of whether or not I could.

"How long do you think you'll need to get ready?" James asked.

I sighed and looked at Lily. She would only take a little over an hour to get ready. Myself, on the other hand, could probably spend every second from now until the party trying to pick a dress and still not be able to.

"A while." I said vaguely.

Lily rolled her eyes.

"How long is a while?" James asked, air quoting the last few words.

"We'll need about three hours. We should leave around six so we get there on time." Lily said, looking at me pointedly.

I sighed, realizing that she was giving me a time limit. I'd have to pick a dress by at least five o'clock in order to be ready by six.

"Is that going to be enough?" Sirius asked me.

"It's going to have to be." I said with a shrug.

Sirius nodded with a look of confusion on his face, but let it go all the same.

"Well, we should start now." Lily said, taking my arm and dragging me around the breakfast bar and up the stairs.

"I thought you said three hours." James said, confused.

"But we have to pamper ourselves before that." Lily said, giggling.

I rolled my eyes. James and Sirius laughed as we raced up the stairs. When we reached our room, Lily closed and locked the door.

"We're really not going to pamper ourselves, are we?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes, we are, but you need to choose a dress." Lily said sternly.

I sighed and plopped down in one the armchairs we had in the room. "I'm trying. It's just not working." I said miserably.

"Why is this so hard? It's just a dress." Lily scoffed.

"But it's not just a dress. It's complicated." I said.

Lily rolled her eyes and walked into the bathroom. I sighed as I heard the shower turn on. I stood up and opened my wardrobe, hanging a dress on each of the two doors. I turned the arm chair I had just vacated to face the wardrobe and threw myself back down into it. When I looked at the dresses like this, they seemed so harmless. Just two dresses, nothing really special about them. But what each meant was what was making this decision so difficult. I sighed and slumped in the chair.

The bathroom door opened and I turned to look at Lily. Her hair was wrapped up in a white, fluffy towel. She was wearing a fluffy white robe and she had a green face mask.

"Still haven't picked, I see." She stated as she walked over to the other armchair.

She dragged it over next to mine then summoned a basin of hot water. She sat down and sunk her feet in the water.

"No." I groaned.

"Talk it out. Why is it so hard to choose?" Lily said.

I sighed. "You'd laugh." I said.

"Try me." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"You asked for it." I said, my voice strained. "I feel like this choice is more than choosing a dress; it's choosing how I want to be seen."

Lily snorted.

"Told you you'd laugh." I said. I sunk lower in the chair.

"No, I just think you're being a little over dramatic about the whole thing." Lily said sort of chuckling.

"No, I'm not! You said it yourself when I bought the dresses. One dress says, "Here I am" and the other says "I'm just here". That's a major difference. It's like the difference between putting a target on my back or not. And I mean that both literally and figuratively." I said a little heatedly.

Lily sighed and looked at me. Her look clearly said, "What am I going to do with you". I rolled my eyes at her.

"I still think you're being dramatic. Wearing one dress or another is not going to put a target on your back." Lily said.

"You don't get it. It's not about the dress, physically. It's about what the dress means while I'm wearing it." I said, my voice a little harsher that I'd intended.

"How so?" Lily asked.

"Well, one dress is just safe." I said, motioning to the white dress. "There's nothing threatening about it. I can hide my flaws, so to speak, in it. No waves, just keeping the status quo."

"And the other?" Lily asked in a tone that I really couldn't place.

"Well, the other is, for a lack of better words, like a giant "fuck you" to everyone. I'm displaying my flaws for everyone to see. Then questions get asked and I can't the truth forever." I said.

Lily sat for a moment in thoughtful silence. Then she finally sighed. "I still don't see why you're struggling with this. To me, the choice is obvious." she said, motioning to the black dress.

"Well, of course you would say that. You don't get it." I mumbled miserably.

"Sky Elizabeth Strife." Lily said, suddenly very stern. "Do not think that just because I haven't been through what you've been through that I can't empathize with your situation." Lily said. She turned to me with a serious expression and flashing eyes.

"Well, if you think you know so much about my "situation", tell me what you think I'm thinking." I said with a bitter edge on my words.

"Tonight will essentially be the first night you will be facing your abductors as a group sence they tried to kill you. You're scared of drawing attention to yourself and what they will do in retaliation if you do cause waves. You don't want anything further to happen to yourself or anything to happen to us, especially Sirius. And you're ashamed of being afraid of them, which is why it's making this so hard. The last thing you want to do is admit you're afraid by wearing the safe dress but you can't bring yourself to make those kinds of waves by wearing the other dress." Lily said, her tone never changing from the intense one she adopted earlier in the conversation.

As she practically picked me apart, I sank lower and lower into my armchair until I was practically on the floor. I couldn't tell which felt worse: the fact that my fears and worries were so obvious that she could see them or that she was completely, 100 percent right. I was bloody terrified of upsetting the current status quo, but I was ashamed of that fear at the same time. I didn't want to be afraid anymore, but I couldn't help it. Despite my best efforts, that gut-wrenching, all-consuming fear would not go away. I looked at Lily and she had a fierce, righteous look in her eyes. I was about to say something in response but she stopped me.

"The only reason I decided to go to this party was because I saw how much you needed it. You need to face this fear you have not or you never will. All of us see what it's doing to you. You barely eat and you sleep even less. It's time for you to wash your hands of this mess." Lily went on.

She stood up and walked over to her bed. She bent down and pulled a relatively small package from under her bed. She walked back over to me and held it out. I sat up and took the smallish square box from her.

"I have to wash this crap off." She said, pointing to her still green face.

I nodded and she walked to the bathroom and closed the door. I looked at the package in my lap. It was wrapped in brown paper, and it was a sloppy job of it. On top there was letter addressed to me. I recognized the handwriting immediately; it was from Sirius. I picked up the letter and popped the wax seal. The letter was slightly longer than his normal letters but it looked like it had been written with pain-staking effort. I could tell by how neat the handwriting was.

_My dearest Songbird,_

_If you are reading this right now, then you haven't made a decision about your dress. Yes, I know you have two dresses to pick from, but before you get too angry, I do not know what they look like. The only things I know about the dresses are the colors and that one dress covers your scars and the other does not. I only know the first face for a reason you will learn shortly and I know the second fact because Lily asked to talk some sense into you. I know you're going to do whatever you want in the end, but I'm going to try my best to give you a third opinion. _

_What you are facing right now is a crossroad. On one path there is light and safety and security. That road is predictable and reliable. The other side is clouded by fog. No one knows what will happen if you take that path, but it sure doesn't look pretty. The only certain thing about that path is that once it has been taken, there is no turning back. _

_I, more than anyone, understand how unbelievably terrifying this decision is for you. If you choose the safe route, you fear being called a coward and I know how much you would detest that. But if you choose the clouded path, you risk everything but you would retain your pride and dignity. There is no easy way out of this, and I know how scary that is._

_But just know this: whatever decision you make, you will not be facing the consequences alone. I will always be there for you and I'll be there to catch you if you fall. I always have been there and I always will be. _

_Make the best decision for you, and to Hell with everyone else._

_Forever yours,_

_Padfoot_

_P.S. The item inside the box is your anniversary gift, your birthday present, and your Christmas present. I was going to wait, but the opportunity presented itself and I took it._

When I finished the letter, I sighed. Sirius always seemed to know exactly what to say, which was a skill that eluded me. I set the letter aside and ripped the paper off of the box. I opened the cardboard box and tipped out the black velvet one inside. The box was too large to be any kind of ring and it was not the shape to be any other kind of jewelry. When I lifted the lid, I audibly gasped. Sitting on the little cushion was an absolutely gorgeous hair comb. The teeth were silver but there was a design on the side in what I presumed to be white diamonds. The entire comb was about the size of my hand but the design took up almost half of that. But what had actually caused me to gasp was the thing that was made out of the diamonds. The gems formed the shape of two flowers with vines and leaves coming swirling around them. The flowers had delicate white silk petals but the vines and leaves were all studded in diamonds.

"Oh wow." I whispered as I looked at it. I flipped it over and saw that there was another note from Sirius.

_Sky, I had this made for you by goblins. Not only is it the regular kind of nearly indestructible, it carries a spell on it that prevents any kind of other damage including water damage, fire damage and spell resistant. The only way that the last three damages could ever occur is if I stop loving you. Your beloved Sirius_

"How did he do that?" I heard Lily suddenly ask from behind me.

I jumped rather violently and nearly dropped the hair comb.

"Please don't sneak up on me like that. And to answer your question, does it really matter?" I asked back. I put the thing on my lap to prevent myself from almost dropping it again.

"Well, it matter because not only is it extremely cheesy, it may not be true." Lily said as she walked around me and sat down in her chair.

She emptied the water out of the basin, flipped it over and started painting her toes a pretty shade of red.

"Once again, why does it matter? It's not like I'm going to put it to the test." I scoffed.

Lily rolled her eyes. "So have you picked a dress?" she asked.

I looked at my dresses again. Suddenly they didn't look nearly as threatening.

"Yeah I think I have." I said, standing up.


	25. The Party Begins

~Sirius's POV~

It was six o'clock and James and I were standing in the living room. We were dressed in two of my best suits. James's sleeves were a little long and the shirt was a little loose in the chest but that was just because he was a scrawny bean pole. Remus was feeling ill so he stayed in bed. We understood, seeing as the full moon was in two days. James was antsy next to me. I almost reprimanded him, but it WAS his first real date with Lily so he had every right to be nervous.

"It's five after six. They said they'd be ready by now." James said bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"They're girls. Always give then fifteen minutes leeway." I said trying to calm him down.

"You would know." James said with a smirk.

I rolled my eyes at his stab at my past.

"Sirius? James?" I heard Lily's voice echo down the stairs.

"We're here." James said a little too eagerly.

"We're coming down now." She said.

I felt my heart speed up a little. Sky probably had opened my gift, but I was still highly anticipating her choice in dress. I heard the distinctive click of high heels on stone steps. Lily was first to descend the stairs. She looked absolutely stunning. Her hair was in waves and flowed gently over her shoulders like a river of fire. Her dress fit her like a glove and looked marvelous. I glanced over at James and he was staring wide-eyed at her. He blinked a few times as if trying to make sure this wasn't a dream. I turned my attention back to the stairs as I heard the sound of heels again.

I was completely blown away. Sky walked down the stairs wearing the most beautiful black dress I had ever seen. The plunging neckline looked fantastic on her. Her hair was pulled up and back, showing off her absolutely stunning face. Her eyes were shadowed and smoky, matching her black and white dress perfectly. The dress flowed like water around her toned legs. When she reached the bottom of the stairs, she walked over to me with extreme elegance. I followed her every move and as she reached me, she giggled. I looked at her, confused.

"You're drooling." She said laughing.

I quickly and embarrassedly pulled out my handkerchief and wiped the drool off of my face.

"Well, it's justifiable. You look stunning." I said, taking her hand.

I gently lifted it up and spun her to get the full effect of the dress. When she turned so her back was to me, I would be lying if I said I wasn't shocked. I had seen bits and pieces of the scars before, but I had never seen all of them exposed at once. I think that it was because I had been expecting the worst, but they weren't so bad. I mean, the mere sight of them and the thought of how they got there made my blood boil; don't get me wrong. But the scars didn't cause her back to look malformed except for maybe the biggest one. In fact, they seemed almost like they were a part of her. All people had scars of a sort on them; Sky's scars just happened to be physical. I turned her back around. I smiled a genuine smile and she visibly relaxed. She probably thought that I would freak out over the scars.

"I see that you're wearing your present." I said with a smirk.

"Yes. Thank you for yet another ridiculously expensive present." She said with a roll of her eyes.

I mimicked the gesture. "It wasn't that expensive, actually." I said.

It had really cost me about half of the money that I was able to get out with when I walked out. But I wasn't about to tell her that. Ever since she learned that I had been able to sneak out with a little bit of my family's fortune, she had been nagging me to save it for a house and a family. She was right of course, but I couldn't help but want to spend money on her.

"Okay. Can we go now? We're already late." Lily said, agitated.

I looked at Sky and held out my arm to her. She smiled and took it. If I had learned anything from my crazy family, it was how to act at formal parties. My perfect dance posture was something that made the ladies swoon, but that was a hard learned lesson. We walked out off the tower together and were silent for a couple of floors. Sky kept a tight grip on my arm, and her head was slightly bowed. She had a far-off look on her face, as if she was lost in thought.

"You'll be fine." I said reassuringly.

I smiled and she mirrored me, albeit her smile was a little more strained than mine.

"Yeah. With us here, not a single one of those creeps will get near you. And besides, everyone knows that they're all too well bred to cause any trouble at an event where they received a special invitation." James said with a smirk.

I sucked in a breath as I saw Sky's gaze snap to him. James recoiled a bit with wide eyes.

"What do you mean by that? Regulas is the only one out of the people here with any kind of breeding." Sky said, her voice tense but confused.

Lily bit her lower lip and James looked at the floor, running his hand through his hair. I almost swatted his hand; we had actually managed to get it lay flat and then he just went and messed it up.

"Snape and Regulas aren't the only ones that are going to be there. We think that at least Malfoy and Bellatrix got special invitations. Which means that Narcissa and that Lestrange character will be there too." James said hesitantly.

Sky looked at James, then Lily and then finally me, searching our faces for an explanation. I sighed when she looked at me.

"What do you mean, "special invitations"?" Sky said, clearly directing the question at James but looking at me. Her betrayal and horror were clear in her piercing blue eyes.

"We thought that you knew. On the invitation we received, it said that special alumni guests would be attending to share their success stories." Lily said when James didn't speak up.

I became suddenly aware that we had stopped moving and we were standing in the entrance hall. Sky huffed, but still looked at me. I figured that she was probably wondering why no one, especially me, had mentioned this before now. I sighed. I wanted to tell her but James, Lily, and Remus reasoned that if she knew that she would have to not only face Regulas and Snape, but up to four more of her attackers, she would not want to go anywhere near this party. And we had all agreed that it was for her own good that she faced her fears so to speak.

"Look, they can't touch you tonight. At least four or five of them have been raised knowing better than to cause a scene at an event, especially a classy one they were invited to specially. You'll be fine and we're right here to support you." I said, taking her hand and squeezing it gently.

Sky looked at all of us one more time and we gave her reassuring smiles. Then she squared her shoulders and raised her chin a little. I smiled; Sky's fighting spirit was one of the numerous things that I loved about her. She never backed down from a challenge. I looped her arm under mind again and we walked down to Slughorn's dungeon classroom. Sky seemed cool and confident all the way down and I only saw one moment of vulnerability in her eyes. That was right before we entered the party. I smiled down at her and gave her hand another reassuring squeeze. Then we walked through the door to find what awaited us.

~Sky's POV~

As we walked down to the dungeons from the entrance hall, I was silently fuming. I was angry that no one, especially Sirius, told me that I might have to face not only Regulas and Snape but possibly Malfoy, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Lestrange. I could have handled two of them but this additional four was rattling my cage. But I put on a strong face, determined not to let them get to me. I'd had enough of living in fear; it was time for them to realize that I was stronger than all of them combined.

When we reached the door to Slughorn's classroom, I heard the rumble of voices issuing from within. Mixed in the din, I distinctly heard Narcissa's throaty, girly laugh. I tensed and Sirius felt it. He smiled down at me and squeezed my hand. I smiled back, remembering that I wasn't alone. James pushed open the door and as we walked over the threshold, the room went practically silent. I say "practically" because there was a record player in the corner playing Christmas music. But other than that, everyone in the room was silently staring at us. The room was almost full, so we were probably the last ones to arrive. Not exactly the entrance I had planned. After three or four excruciating heartbeats of silence, Slughorn burst through the crowd and cried out in joy.

"Miss Strife! Miss Evans! So wonderful of you to come! And you brought Mr. Black and Mr. Potter! And just in time for dinner!" he said, his voice so full of enthusiasm that it made me want to cringe. But I suppressed the urge and just forced a smile.

Slughorn came over and shook all of our hands and then he motioned for all of the guests to sit at the garishly laid table. I could feel eyes on me the entire way to the table. I didn't dare to look around to see to whom the eyes belonged, but the heat on my back was a big clue. When everyone was seated at the table, Sirius ended up on my right and James ended up on my left. The table was circular. It made socializing easier but it also put me in the view of everyone.

I glanced around and confirmed my suspicion that Malfoy, Narcissa, Bellatrix, and Lestrange were present as well as Regulas and Snape. It was strange seeing them now. The last time I saw any of them in a social setting was the annual Black Family Holiday Ball where Sirius walked out. Bellatrix had gone through an almost complete transformation since then. She wore half of her hair over her face and there was a strange, almost manic glint in her eye. As I regarded her, she glanced over and we locked eyes. It took all of my self control not to shiver as she gave me the most positively evil smile I had ever seen on a person.

I was the first to break the contact because Sirius had put his hand on my thigh, causing me to jump. Luckily, the first course appeared on our plates and everyone's attention was diverted to the food in front of them. I tried to eat but my stomach suddenly felt full of rocks. So I ate a few bites but mostly just pushed the food around. The first course was eaten with no talk between any of the guests. I guessed that everyone could feel the tension in the air.

Everyone, that is, except the party's host. When the second course was served, Slughorn began engaging certain students in limited conversations. He practically gave one boy, who I vaguely recognized as a Ravenclaw from my year, the third degree about his parents who worked at the Ministry. I felt sorry for the boy, but I had problems of my own. I felt six pairs of eyes staring at me almost constantly, and it was extremely uncomfortable, to say the least. I couldn't bring myself to look at any of them, so I just stared resolutely at my plate of practically untouched food. I heard Slughorn say my name and I jumped almost violently. I looked up and saw that everyone was looking at me.

"I'm sorry?" I said confused.

"I asked about your parents." Slughorn said softly.

I looked down at my plate again. "They died in an accident at work when I was young." I said, heat flooding my neck.

This was not exactly a topic I wanted to discuss when the six people that hated me the most out of the whole of humanity were present.

"What kind of job did they do?" Slughorn pressed.

I sighed; none of this was his business and he has known for a long time that my parents were dead. I didn't know what game he was playing but I knew it would be worse if I didn't just play along.

"They worked for the Ministry. My mum worked in the courts and my dad worked in the Department of Mysteries. That's all I was ever told." I half-mumbled.

"Wait, do you mean to say that your parents were the ones that died during that fire? My dad was on the inquiry squad for that. I remember him telling my mum about it was I was a kid." Some girl said.

I didn't recognize her at all, so she must have been at least a year younger than me and not in Gryffindor. I nodded vaguely and pushed more food around. Sirius's hand found mine under the table and he gave it a gentle squeeze.

"It was an accident. I wasn't told much because I was so young. My brother and I were sent to live with my Squib aunt in London after it happened and that's all I've ever been told." I said, trying to keep my voice even.

Everyone seemed to be holding their breath because there was a collective sigh of pity. That was exactly what I didn't need from these people. I didn't want to be pitied; I wanted to be respected. Slughorn dragging some of my most personal moments out into the open in front of my worst enemies didn't exactly help my case.

"Well, you've certainly made the best of it. Turn oranges in lemonade, as it were. So, Bella, what have you been up to since you left us?" Slughorn said, quickly moving on.

Bellatrix launched into an elaborate story about how she and her new husband have been traveling extensively across most of the world. I only half listened as I looked up at Sirius. He was smiling reassuringly at me and he squeezed my hand again. I smiled back at him, feeling lucky to have such a solid rock in my life.

The rest of the meal was a blur of boring stories and barely touched food. Slughorn focused on Bellatrix and Malfoy for conversation because they were more than happy to brag about their extravagant weddings, wonderful travels and glamorous lives. It made me want to throw up at the way they waved lives most of us could only dream about in our faces.

When the meal was over, Slughorn invited us to mingle, dance, and enjoy the refreshments. Lily, James, Sirius, and I immediately retreated to a corner to talk away from the rest.

"Did you see the way Bellatrix talked? I swear if her ego got any bigger, her head would explode." James grumbled moodily.

"Coming from King Ego himself." Lily ribbed playfully.

James cracked a smirk and ran a hand through his hair, but I could see the irony in it.

"I was more concerned for Sky. They could not stop staring. If looks could kill, you'd be pushing up daisies, Songbird." Lily said with soft concern in her voice.

"I know." I said, nodding slowly.

I crossed my arms over my chest, looking across the room where the aforementioned group had gathered. Most people weren't actually mingling like Slughorn had planned. There were small clusters of people around the room that were talking amongst themselves. There were only a few brave souls that wandered between groups every so often, but they too quickly retreated to the comfort of their own group.

"Well, if the goal was to get their attention, congratulations. Mission accomplished." James muttered.

We were all looking in their direction now. They glanced at us every now and then, scowled, and then whispered furiously within their own group again.

"I have to use the loo." I said after a little while of this.

I could normally handle the stares and whispers behind my back, but this was becoming much too uncomfortable for my liking.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lily asked.

I shook my head and looked at the floor. I just wanted to be alone to collect myself right now. Lily looked at me with a strange look that I really couldn't place. But I didn't try really hard to figure it out.


	26. Doubt

I walked away from my group, out the door and down the hall to the ladies' room. I felt significantly cooler in here not that the hot spotlight was off of me. I went over to the sinks and leaned heavily on one. I glanced up at my reflection in the mirror above the sink but looked away quickly. I couldn't stand what I saw, what I could feel everyone else saw.

My outside shell was pretty and practically perfect but it felt wafer thin. Inside of me there was this terrified little girl who wanted nothing more than to hide from the world and wait for the storm to blow over. I tried to be strong, but I knew that it would only be a matter of time before someone or something cracked my shell. I felt like everyone around me saw how frail I was, and pitied me because of it. And that really got to me. I could take anger, and I could handle empathy, but I could not stand the pity of anyone.

But before I could get much further in my self-loathing, I heard the door behind me open and close. I looked up and saw Bellatrix and Narcissa standing there. I whipped around to face them, my face a calm mask. They couldn't touch me here.

"Strife." Bellatrix said, taking a slow step toward me.

"Black." I said, matching the contempt and loathing in her tone perfectly.

"It's Lestrange now." She said as if I had mortally offended her.

"Bellatrix Lestrange. Perfect match considering they don't come much stranger than you." I said in a mock thoughtful tone.

"You think you're so strong. But we've seen what you are without you little friends." Narcissa said.

They were slowly advancing toward me. I felt the need to wipe the venom from her words off of my face. But I didn't. I kept staring at them, calm and collected. This was why I came: to show them I wasn't afraid.

"I'm not that girl anymore. You've given me a whole new layer of skin that's much thicker. If anything, it'll take so much more to break me now than it ever would have before." I said.

They were arm's length away now. I never realized it before, but we were all around the same height. Bellatrix looked me up and down with a look of pure disgust.

"We'll just see about that." She said.

We stared at each other for another moment.

"I never said this, but that is a lovely dress." Narcissa said with a sticky sweet smile.

I felt my guard slam up. Narcissa was her most dangerous when she wore that smile. I looked at her curiously and was about to retort. But then she dumped the glass of red wine she had been carrying down the front of my dress, leaving a nasty blood colored stain. I glared at her but she just smiled. Then she and Bellatrix swept out of the room in a fit of giggles.

When the door shut behind them, I sighed and turned back to the mirror. The stain only was visible on the white parts of my dress, but I knew that the dress was ruined regardless. I figured that magic was out of the question because, if they had intentionally dumped the wine down my dress, they probably would have done something to it to make getting it out hard and complicated. I grabbed one of the towels and ran some cold water over it. I was starting to dab at the stain when I heard the door open again.

I looked up, fully expecting to see Lily. But instead I saw a girl I didn't recognize at all. When she saw me, she jumped rather violently. I turned around and she started laughing slightly.

"Sorry. I expected to be alone. The party seemed to have everyone so engaged." She said, still chuckling.

"No, not really. I found it to be rather boring." I replied curtly, not really in the mood to deal with this. I just wanted to go back to my bed and hide from the world.

"It's what one makes of it I guess. Oh dear, did you have an accident?" she asked, suddenly very concerned.

I looked down at my dress again. "I guess you could say that." I said with an ironic chuckle.

"My mum taught me the perfect spell for getting stains out. Mind if I have a go?" she said excited, pulling her want out of her purse.

I looked this stranger, who looked to be only a fifth year at best. I looked at my dress again; it was already ruined so I figured she couldn't do much more damage. I shrugged and she rushed over. She screwed up her face in concentration and muttered the spell under her breath. Right before my eyes, I saw the harsh red stain disappear and within seconds, it was gone.

"Good as new." She announced with a triumphant smile.

I ran my hand down the spot where the wine had been and felt the dry silk. "Thanks." I said. I smiled my first real smile all day.

"I don't think we've met. I'm Rebecca, Rebecca Burke." The girl said, sticking out her hand.

"Sky Strife." I said, taking her hand.

We shook and a strange expression came over her face. "Are you Sirius Black's girlfriend?" she asked hesitantly.

I nodded with a proud smile. She smiled back.

"You two are so adorable. How long have you been together?" she asked with that same excited smile.

"Two years." I said casually.

She made a face and a sound that one usually makes when looking at baby animals.

"Are you two engaged?" she asked.

"No." I replied, my face now confused.

She mirrored my expression. "Have you guys ever talked about marriage? Kids?" Rebecca asked quickly.

"No." I said hesitantly. I didn't understand where she was going with this line of questioning.

"Have you talked about what you're going to do when you are done here?" Rebecca asked, suspicious now.

I shook my head slowly. Sirius and I, let alone anyone in our group, had yet to talk about any kind of plans for the future. I was pretty positive that we, collectively, were just trying to take things day by day. Personally, I was just trying to maintain some sort of vaguely normal sleeping and eating schedule. I really wasn't thinking about what I was going to do months from now because frankly, I wasn't sure if I was going to be alive for that long with the way things were going. If Moody didn't kill me in his ridiculous trainings, then those damn Slytherins would.

Rebecca huffed and rocked her weight back away from me. I hadn't realized that she was leaning in toward me until that moment. I looked at her, confused again.

"I really thought you'd be The One. All the signs were there, but I guess I was wrong." She said, almost as if she were talking to herself.

"What do you mean?" I asked, my confusion now in my voice as well as on my face.

"The one that would get THE Sirius Black to settle down. But I guess you're just like all the others." Rebecca continued in that same tone.

I was about to question her further, but she walked away before I could. The door closed behind her and I stared at it.

My gut reaction to her assumptions was fury. I wanted to storm after her and tell her that I was in no way, shape, or form like any of Sirius's previous girlfriends. I was his best friend long before I was his girlfriend, and he even admitted that he only dated those other girls to make me jealous. But some tiny, completely irrational part of my mind stopped me. I turned to look at myself in the mirror again.

_Am I REALLY that different from them?_ That small voice thought.

**Yes, I was different. He treats me different. He respects me. He trusts me. He loves me. He never really loved any of them. **I scolded myself.

_Did they all think that too?_ That voice thought.

I had to admit that Sirius always treated his "girlfriends", if you wanted to call them that, with respect. As far as I knew, he never cheated on them.

_But he came from one of the most notorious pureblood families of all time. He must have picked up something._

This was also true. Sirius told once that the women in his family never expected fidelity out of their husbands, just discretion. He told me that he knew for a fact that his father had at least two mistresses. But they were never brought to the house and were probably of "impure blood" so his mother would never run into them.

**But Sirius is different. He doesn't believe in any of that bullshit. He hates it.**__

I was NOT like any of his other girlfriends. Hell, the mere fact of how long we'd been together showed that. Sirius's longest relationship before ours lasted all of six weeks. Most averaged around two or three weeks. So us being together for two years proved that I was not like them.

_Two years without sex is a long time. _

This was also, unfortunately, true. I wanted to wait until I was ready and Sirius has been, if not happy with, but supportive of that. He didn't push me and seemed happy enough to wait for the green light from me. But he would never cheat on me. I was the love of his life; he's told me that on several occasions. I looked at my reflection again. I squared my shoulders; that Rebecca didn't know anything about my relationship with Sirius. I smiled at my reflection and turned to walk out to the party.


	27. For the First Time

~Sirius's POV~

Sky walked away toward the restrooms, and I saw that everyone turned to watch her go. I was pretty sure that she didn't notice it, but those stares really bothered me. It was like they were dissecting her under a microscope. I knew how much Sky's pride meant to her and how much she wanted to be respected and this group looked like they were just pitying her.

"Was this a good idea?" I heard Lily ask suddenly.

"Yeah. I'm pretty sure she can handle herself for a couple minutes." James said with a shrug.

I glanced around the room and saw that Bellatrix and Narcissa were leaving the room now.

"No, I mean pushing her to show her scars. Was it the right thing to do?" Lily said.

I looked at her. Her brilliant green eyes were shining with deep concern and she was biting her bottom lip. I knew what she was thinking. I was having the same thoughts. All night, those slimy dirt bags had been staring at her and I could tell she felt it. The only thing showing her scars had accomplished was getting their attention, and not in a good way. I could tell that they were furious.

"She needed to show that she wasn't scared of them. Whether or not it was the right thing to do, it was what needed to be done." James said.

Well, that wasn't exactly what Lily needed to hear. But she seemed oddly comforted by it. I saw movement by the door and I looked to see if Sky had come back. Instead, it was Bellatrix and Narcissa, looking strangely more smug than usual. I looked at them curiously as they crossed the room back to their group. When they got there, they said something to the others and they broke out in laughter.

I narrowed my eyes in anger, and looked around them for a reason to get closer. Luckily, the punch bowl was located within ear shot of their group. I mumbled something to Lily and James about being thirsty and walked off in the direction of the punch bowl. When I got over to the refreshments table, they were laughing again. I had to suppress the urge to cringe at Bellatrix's ridiculous cackle.

"I still can't believe she thought it was good idea to wear that God-awful excuse for a dress." Narcissa said.

There was general murmur of agreement from the rest.

"She just looked like the low whore that she is." Snape muttered.

The others chuckled at this. I gripped the punch glass in my hand hard; I was surprised it didn't shatter.

"She making a bigger show of herself than she did when we were here?" Malfoy asked, nudging Snape with his shoulder.

Snape made a noise halfway between a scoff and a gag. "It's so much worse. She's always had Dumbledore wrapped around her finger. It's awful now that her brother is teaching. None of them ever come to his class and those blood traitors are always whispering to each other like the world revolves around them. It makes me sick." Snape said, spitting out the words like they left a bad taste in his mouth.

His words sort of took me by surprise. I'd figured that people would notice us not showing up to some lessons, but I always thought we were being subtle whenever we talked outside of the tower. I made a mental note to tell the others about it.

"But you really think that?" Lestrange was saying.

"There must be. There's no way she can miss that many lessons and still be in the top of our year. Something doesn't add up." Snape said.

"But "special favors" seems a stretch. She's his sister." Malfoy said, air quoting the second and third words.

"Can you think of any other explanation? She even sneaks to his office every Saturday at the same time. When she leaves, she always looks happier than when she came there and she stays for a couple hours at the very least." Snape said, listing his "evidence" off on his fingers.

"You know, they've always had a ridiculously close relationship. A little too close, some would say." Regulas said.

There was a high pitched crack and a sharp pain in my hand. I looked down and saw that I had broken the glass in my hand. But I couldn't really feel the pain; I felt murder in my boiling blood. How dare that little bastard? How dare he say those completely false things about my Songbird? And it wasn't even the words that he was saying that bothered me the most; it was the fact that he was saying them and the people that were around us were believing him. And those people weren't even limited to the Death Eaters; other guests who had come to get punch and overheard the conversation were nodding thoughtfully, as if the whole thing made perfect sense.

"Sirius! What happened to your hand?" I heard a female voice ask.

I turned and saw that it was Sky standing there with James and Lily behind her.

"Must have broke the glass." I muttered.

I turned back to Snape and saw him smirking triumphantly, as if he had meant for me to overhear him the whole time.

"Can I borrow your hankie?" Sky asked some random guy standing there.

He gave it to her, albeit a little hesitantly. It made me want to punch him in his ridiculous face. But Sky grabbed my hand wrapped the borrowed hankie around it.

"Let's get you back and clean this up." She said with a smile.

Her smile, that wonderful smile, had always had a calming effect on me and it was working its magic on me again. I walked with my friends toward the door. I looked back at Snape, warning him with my eyes that this wasn't over, and it wiped that smirk clean off of his face.

I spent the entire walk back to the tower thinking of every possible way to get revenge on that vermin, but nothing seemed fitting enough. I wanted him mutilated, just like he had mutilated my Songbird. When we reached the tower, Sky led me to the third bedroom and sat me down on the bed.

"Just wait her for a minute while I change. I'll grab you some clothes too, if you want?" Sky said.

I looked at her and them myself and then nodded. She smiled and all other thoughts in my head disappeared. She was so beautiful. I couldn't wait to make her my wife. I had already bought the ring, but I was waiting to plan something special. I was considering Valentine's Day, but that seemed far too cheesy.

By this time, she had already left and I was feeling the pain in my hand. I peeled the soaked cloth from my hand. As I looked at the shards of glass embedded in my hand, the pain started to throb with my pulse so I looked away. I looked out of the window and saw the almost full moon hanging in the clear black sky.

Then suddenly, an idea popped into my head. The details of how I would accomplish the plan and get away with it started tumbling through my mind and everything settled into place perfectly. I grinned fiendishly as my plan cemented itself in my brain. It was the perfect plan.

But before I could get more triumphant than that, the door opened and closed. I turned and saw that Sky was standing by the door, holding a pile of clothes. She was wearing one of my t-shirts, which came down to about her mid-thigh. I could see the bright blue hem of her shorts peeking out from under the shirt. She had washed her face and let her hair tumble around her shoulders. She had never looked sexier in the entire time I knew her than in that moment. My plan could wait. I had to spend tonight with this beautiful woman I was lucky to have in my life.

~Sky's POV~

I went back upstairs after changing and grabbing clothes for Sirius. As I climbed the stairs, I thought about the look on Sirius's face when I found him by the punch bowl. I had seen him angry before, but this look was something else entirely. He had calmed down when I had dragged him away, but it still made me wonder what could have made him that furious.

When I entered the room, Sirius turned from the window to look at me. He had a rather awe-struck look on his face and I half blushed. I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Let's take a look." I said with a sigh.

I gently pulled the rag away from the wounds and inspected them. There were a good handful of gashes and plenty of shards. Some were bigger and could be picked out by hand, but it was the tiny fragments I worried about.

"Let's go to the bathroom. I don't want to get blood and glass on the bed." I said.

He nodded and there was strange look in his eyes. I felt my face flushing under his look. I held Sirius's hand over the sink and gently picked at the wounds.

"Why can't you just accio the glass out? It would be faster." Sirius said.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want sharp pieces of glass flying at me." I said.

"Oh, that makes sense." Sirius said.

I looked up and smiled at him. While I was picking out the pieces I could, Sirius reached up and tucked hair that had fallen in my face behind my ear. His hand lingered on my face for a moment before it moved behind my head, down my back and then finally away. My face felt hot and I almost moved my hair in front of my face again to hide. When I finished picking out the big pieces, I turned on the tap and put his bloodied hand under it.

"Whatever I couldn't get out should come out with the water. Then I can heal the cuts." I said.

I had been avoiding Sirius's eyes this entire time, but Sirius made me look at him at this point.

"Thank you." He said with a warm smile.

He closed the surprisingly short distance between us and put his lips tenderly on mine. Sirius and I had shared many kisses during our relationship, but none of them ever felt like this one. My blood ran hot and grew hotter with every moment. He pulled me close, his hand wound into my hair. I didn't want to pull away from such a spectacular kiss, but my body needed oxygen. Sirius didn't let me stay away for long, though. He put both of his hands on my hips and pulled me toward him. Our hips, then our chests, and finally our lips collided. Sirius had never been this aggressive with me before, but I honestly didn't mind.

"You should put that hand back under the water." I said with some difficultly. Sirius was sucking on the weak spots of my neck, making it hard for me to speak.

Sirius stopped and nuzzled into the crook of my neck. He reached behind him and turned off the tap.

"It can wait."

That night I spent with Sirius was one of the best I had ever had. Not only was it physically amazing, but it was emotionally intense. I had thought Sirius and I had an extremely close relationship before, but being that physically close to him felt almost like going home. It just felt so right to be with him like that. And he was so attentive to me. He always made sure that I felt good and I felt comfortable. And he knew exactly how to accomplish those things. I was the absolute center of his attention and it felt wonderful. And after it was all over, I fell asleep in his arms, his heartbeat singing me a lullaby.

A/N: If I have to tell you what just happened, then you probably shouldn't know. And if you know, then you won't have to ask.


	28. Seeds

I woke up the next day feeling more refreshed than I had in a very long time. I stretched and looked up at the ceiling. A memory of what happened last night floated into the front of my mind, and I giggled, blushing like a school girl. I rolled over to find Sirius's side of the bed empty. My heart sank as I rolled back over. But then, the bathroom door opened to reveal Sirius clad in the pants I brought him yesterday but he never really wore. He was leaning against the door frame, smiling at me.

"Good morning, beautiful." He said tenderly.

I sat up, making sure to cover my chest with the sheet. "Good morning, handsome." I said happily.

"You slept well." Sirius said.

I looked at him curiously because he didn't phrase his words as a question like one usually does.

"You didn't move at all, even when I got up this morning. And there was no screaming. Well, not while you were asleep." Sirius said with a smirk.

It took me a second to realize his meaning, but once I got it, I blushed tomato red. Sirius let out his signature bark of a laugh and walked over to sit behind me. I turned my upper body around to half glare at him. Sirius ran a finger lightly down one of my scars.

"I always love a screamer." He said gruffly in my ear.

A shiver ran down my spine and I smiled. I leaned across and gave him a tender kiss. He tried to deepen it, but I pulled away.

"You do remember that Remus goes to the Hospital Wing today." I said lightly.

Sirius's face darkened briefly and then he frowned. "Yeah, I remember." He said glumly.

"Are we going to walk him down?" I asked.

"I can do it. I have a book I have to return on the way back." Sirius said. He quickly kissed me again before standing up.

"You have a book to return?" I asked incredulously.

Sirius hardly ever went to the library unless one of us was dragging him by the hair.

"Yeah, for that project Moody gave us." Sirius said.

I understood what he meant at once. Moody gave us the assignment to create our own potion. It had to be either useful in a duel or something we though society as a whole could benefit from. Sirius was working with Lily because, at the time we were assigned the project, Lily and James weren't talking.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" I asked softly.

"I can handle ol' Moony by myself. His bark is much worse than his bite." Sirius said, smirking again.

I looked at him, scolding him with my eyes for his terrible and completely inappropriate pun. Sirius laughed and kissed my forehead.

"I'll be back before you have a chance to miss me." He said getting up.

He found his shirt and threw it on. As he walked over to the door, he turned back to me.

"Feel free to stay exactly where you are." Sirius said with a wink.

"Oh, you are such a boy." I said, blushing again.

I threw a pillow at him but missed by a lot.

"Don't get into trouble." I yelled as he disappeared behind the closed door.

I sighed and looked around. I figured I should probably shower and get something to eat. I would be done by the time Sirius managed to coax Remus out of bed and down to the infirmary. So I threw the covers off my legs and headed to the bathroom.

~Sirius's POV~

I left Sky in the bedroom and headed down to my room to get Remus. I felt like I was walking on Cloud 200. I had had some great sex in my life, but last night with Sky had been something else entirely. Every move she made, every single noise and moan drove me crazy. I never used to understand why people used the phrase "making love" when they talked about sex. To me, sex was sex and there should be no emotional ties to make it anything more than that. But after the night I had just had, the only words I could even THINK of using to describe what we did were making love. It truly felt like we had become one person, like our mutual passion had run over the proverbial glass and ran into a river of pure and true love. And this morning when I woke up to see her peaceful, sleeping face, it felt like going home. It had reaffirmed that the only way I wanted to wake up for the rest of my life was to her and that beautiful face. I reached my room and threw the door open with a happy sigh. James sat bolt upright and Remus groaned.

"No need to get up, Prongs. I'm just here to take Moony down to the Hospital Wing." I said.

I walked over to Remus's bedside and found him in a right state. He looked pale as a ghost with his head buried under his pillows. I sighed; I hated seeing him like this.

"Come on, Moony. It's that time again." I said.

I pulled the blanket and pillow off of him. I grabbed him and pulled him to his feet.

"Where were you last night?" James asked as I wrapped my arm under Remus's shoulder and wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

I looked at my best friend with a sly smile.

"You did not." James said, his face an expression of shock.

"I left with Songbird, you prat." I said, hefting Remus's weight onto me. He groaned and put a hand to his head.

"Was she okay with it?" James asked, sounding just like a very concerned older brother.

"More than okay, mate." I said with a happy sigh.

James the suddenly burst into a fit of hysterical laughter and fell back onto his bed.

"What?" I asked indignantly.

"Just that look on your face when you just reminisced. You look like you did after your very first time." James said, still laughing.

"Oh shut it, you git." I said blushing ever so slightly.

I hefted Remus again and we left James still chuckling. I walked Remus down to the Hospital Wing. The nurse took Remus with pitying eyes and sent me on my way. I had a vague feeling that she could tell that my friends and I had at least a hint at Remus's problem, but I couldn't really tell if she really knew how much my friends and I actually knew.

But regardless of that, I walked quickly down to the library. I figured that Snape would be there and I was rewarded. Snape has his long, greasy nose buried in a book in a back corner of the library. I walked nonchalantly back to him and sat down across the table. He didn't notice me at first because he was so fully engrossed in his text. After a minute or two, I cleared my throat quietly and he jumped a mile high.

"What do you want, Black? Can't you see I'm busy?" he spat in a violent whisper.

Part of me wanted to tell him off, but that wouldn't accomplish my goal. Instead, I put on an offended expression.

"Severus, calm down. I'm not here to cause you any harm." I said as kindly as I could.

Snape looked taken aback by my use of his first name. He probably thought that I didn't even know he had a first name that wasn't Snivillius. Regardless, I took advantage of his silence and dropped guard and went on.

"My friends and I are tired of all this fighting. We just want to live normal lives and let the past be the past. So I've come to tell you that we're done. We're going to stop bothering you and your friends and we hope that you can encourage your friends to do the same." I went on, coating my words with as much sincerity as I could.

As I spoke, Snape's eyes narrowed and his guard shot up again.

"So what you're proposing is a truce? You're going to leave us alone and you want us to leave you alone?" he asked incredulously.

He was looking at me like he thought I was going to curse him at any moment. He had one hand under the table, and it was probably clutching his wand. I kept my wand up my sleeve, so it was easy for me to keep my hands above the table.

"I know! It sounds too good to be true, but I promise that I'm being absolutely honest. My friends and I are tired of fighting and we're nearly done here. Lily was just saying the other night that she's sick of all the lies and backstabbing. She just wants peace for these last few months of our schooling so she can enjoy the company of all her friends." I said in the same ultra-sincere, much-too-casual tone.

But Snape caught the bait that I had thrown. It was no secret between the Marauders that Lily had some sort of friendship with Snape before she became close to Sky and by extension, the rest of us. And James and I knew that Lily and Sky had gone to meet Snape for some reason a couple weeks ago. We didn't know why, but we assumed it had something to do with the end of whatever was between Lily and Snape. When I mentioned that Lily wanted peace, Snape's eyebrows shot up for the briefest of moments and then he resumed his suspicious face, albeit slightly less harsh.

"She said that?" Snape said in a voice that barely sounded like his own.

"Every word, mate. And trust me, when Lily isn't happy, no one is happy. So I hastened to find the most agreeable member of your party to run up the white flag." I said, laying on the charm.

My charm was the only trait that I retained from my "upbringing". I was taught from an early age how to talk anyone into doing anything I wanted them to do. It helped me over the years into smooth talking many a lady out of her pants, but now I was unleashing the full force of it on Snape. I could see his confidence and resolve crumbling, so I deemed it to be the right time to deliver the knock-out blow.

"I can see that you still don't believe me." I said, sounding disappointed.

"It IS rather unbelievable that you and Potter especially would give up torturing myself and your brother for the sake of Lil-Evans." Snape said, his voice catching on Lily's name.

"That's why I want to trust you with a secret, something that not even Sky or Lily know about." I said, dropping my voice and forcing him to lean in to hear me.

"James and I think Remus Lupin is a werewolf." I said I practically mouthed the last word because, God forbid, someone was to overhear us, I wouldn't want that rumor to start flying.

"You mean that you don't know for sure, even though you're his best friends?" Snape asked, his voice and face still suspicious.

"Well, we're pretty damn sure. All the evidence is there: he always gets sick around the full moon and he comes back from the hospital wing looking like he got mugged. But one can't go starting rumors like that without physical proof." I said, still in an intense whisper.

Snape shrugged to concede to these facts. Those things have probably run through his head but the same reason I just cited probably stopped him every time.

"But James and I are going to get proof tonight." I said.

Snape was caught at that point; I had said the magic words.

"What?" he asked, astonishment creeping onto his face.

"Yeah. We've followed Remus before down as far as the Whomping Willow. But now we know that if you poke a special knot in the tree with a stick, it freezes. So now James and I can follow Remus tonight around midnight to wherever it is he goes on the full moon." I said intensely.

I kept my voice low so Snape was forced to lean almost all the way across the table to hear what I was saying. After I was done, Snape leaned back and looked at me skeptically.

"Why are you telling me all this?" he asked.

"Part of that white flag. I hope now you see that I'm being serious, no pun intended." I said, shifting to a very serious tone.

"But now I can easily go and tell a teacher and get you caught." Snape said, sounding as if he had figured out my whole plan and was the smarter one of the two of us. If he only knew.

"Ah, but will you?" I asked with a sly smile.

Snape looked taken aback by this response. He didn't speak but only blinked rapidly and repeatedly with wide eyes.

"Well, I hope we have an agreement. I'll leave you to whatever it was you were doing." I said.

I stood up and left quickly before Snape had a chance to recover and respond. Knowing Snape, he wouldn't rat us out because he wanted to know the truth about Remus bad enough. I had caught Snape hook, line, and sinker. And now that I had him exactly where I wanted him, he was going to learn exactly what happened to those who messed with the Marauders.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I'm obviously not dead. I just thought I should come out and say that. Because I'm almost positive that's what you were thinking.**

**I'm really sorry that I haven't been posting. I would like to say that I've been busy writing, but sadly it would taste a lie. I mean, it's not entirely false because I have been doing some writing (some for this story, but a lot more for school). The real reason for my lack of posting: COLLEGE. Never go to college, kiddies. It eats up your life until you are a husk, only shuffling from class to class and meandering through your existence with the zeal of a slice of burnt toast. **

**Sorry. That was just a leak from my zombie writing mode. But I digress.**

**But seriously, go to college. You'll regret it if you don't.**

**Anywho, I have a bunch of chapters to post (well, for the sake of full disclosure, only like four or five typed, but I have plenty more written). Hope you enjoy.**


	29. When it Hits the Fan

~Still Sirius's POV~

It was about 11:30 at night. James and I were standing in the living room with Lily and Sky. James had the Invisibility Cloak under his arm. We would have left by now, but Sky was throwing a fit.

"Are you sure you don't want me to go?" She kept asking.

I rolled my eyes. "Sky, you need to stay with Lily. We don't want anyone to ambush her." James said.

Lily and James had been holding hands the entire time we were standing there. He still hadn't officially asked her out, but they had been spending a lot of time together.

"Like Lily couldn't handle herself." Sky said spitefully.

"That's not the point." I said, getting a little irritated.

"Then what is?" she asked.

I put my hands on her shoulders and looked into her stubborn eyes. "My point is, you need to stay. Trust us; let us have a boy's night for a change. Padfoot, Prongs, and a werewolf." I said, turning up the charm.

I very rarely, if ever, used my charm on Sky; if anything, she tried to use hers more on me. I felt like trying to charm her was dishonest and disrespectful to her. But in this instance, I didn't want to miss Snape down at the Shack. Sky looked at me for a moment and I tried to look as innocent as possible. After a moment, her beautiful lips spread into a trusting smile. Her icy blue eyes lit up when she smiled and I had to stop myself from wincing. It felt like lying, and I hated lying to my Songbird. Love didn't survive when couples lied to each other.

"Don't get into too much trouble without me." She said.

She leaned in and I met her halfway in a passionate kiss. When we broke away, I put my forehead to hers.

"Wait up for me?" I asked under my breath with a wink.

She giggled and blushed a very flattering shade of pink. She nodded and promised she would. We quickly kissed again and I pulled away from her entirely. I looked at James and he squared his shoulder.

Then we walked out of the tower. Very shortly after we left, James threw the Cloak over us. Even with just the two of us under it, we had to crouch and walk at a relatively slow pace to avoid our feet showing. I held the Cloak off of our faces while James looked at the Map. He was following our route pretty intently, so I had little anxiety about him seeing Snape on the Map. We reached the entrance hall without any sort of problems and we were able to sneak out of the door and walk down to the Whomping Willow without a problem.

But when we got there, we saw a figure walking around and looking at the ground, as if searching for something. I was betting it was Snape looking for a stick long enough to poke the tree with.

"Who is that?" James muttered, confused.

I shrugged as we advanced slowly and invisibly. As I had suspected, the person was Snape and he had succeeded in finding a stick. As it became clear what Snape was planning to do, James ripped the Cloak off of both of us and quickly strode over to Snape.

"What the bloody hell are you doing out here?" he snapped.

Snape jumped and I saw his face turn quickly from a strange sort of anticipation to hate.

"Why does it matter to you?" Snape snapped back.

"It matters because I want to know." James said, grabbing the stick Snape was trying to poke the tree with.

Snape looked at James with absolute contempt in his eyes.

"I'm doing the same thing you are." Snape replied after a long moment of silence.

"And what, exactly, do you believe us to be doing?" James asked.

His tone implied that his patience was at its limit and it caused me to grin. James was always so entertaining when he ran out of patience; expect, of course, when you happened to be his target. Then it wasn't so much fun.

"Finding out if Remus Lupin is a werewolf." Snape said with a triumphant grin.

James's expression of forced calm over contempt didn't change but I saw his eyes flicker to horrified for the very briefest of moments.

"Remus Lupin isn't a werewolf. Who bloody told you he was?" James asked defensively.

"Well, your good friend Sirius said that he always disappears under the Whomping Willow on the night of the full moon. So he said that I should check it out and find out for sure." Snape said.

My ears flashed hot and my temper flared. I may have said some words like that, but I never explicitly said that SNAPE should personally go.

"Sirius said what?" James said slowly and calmly.

Remember how I mentioned that James was entertaining when he lost it? Well, it wasn't going to be for me.

"I never said that, Prongs. You know I wouldn't." I said defensively.

"But you said that you thought Lupin was a werewolf but couldn't prove it and that you and Potter were coming down tonight to find out." Snape went on.

I never wanted to snap that little bastard's neck more than in that instant. Not necessarily to kill him, but just to make him stop talking. Every word he said made James's ears grow darker red. By the time he was done speaking, James's ears were practically purple.

"Tell me you didn't." James said quietly.

I was truly terrified now. I had never seen James this angry, not even the time I accidently called Lily fat in fourth year.

"I never told him to come down." I said, trying to remain calm.

James gave me a look that clearly told me that this wassn't over. Then he turned to Snape.

"Get out of here." He said in that same quiet and dangerous tone.

"What? Why?" Snape demanded.

"Because, if you don't, something really bad is going to happen." James said.

Snape looked at James and shifted his weight away, clearly saying he wasn't going anywhere. James opened his mouth, about to lay into him, when suddenly there was a gentle shake in the ground. James and I looked at each other, panic in our eyes. We knew that the shake meant Remus had broken through the defenses that we had put up to keep in the Shack. Now he was on his way here.

James whipped out his wand and shot sparks into the area around Snape's face, temporarily blinding and distracting him. It gave me enough time to transform into my animagus. When Snape could see again, he looked around wildly.

"Where'd Black go?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter. You have to get out of here!" James said.

I heard the distant panting of a creature coming this way. My ears were flat against my head and I growled at the tree.

"Where did that dog come from?" Snape asked, sounding violently confused.

"It doesn't matter. You just need to get out of here." James shouted, finally losing his temper.

The werewolf was very close now because I could hear its feet on the ground: one two-three four, one two-three four. I barked two or three times, trying to tell James to get out of here while he was still vulnerable. I wanted to tell him to leave Snape, but I couldn't. Then several things suddenly happened at once: there was a shout from the direction of the castle, James was shouting at Snape to run, and a fully grown werewolf burst from the roots of the Whomping Willow. Without thinking twice, I launched myself at the werewolf, catching it off guard. It swiped one of its massive paws at me and caught my side. I yelped and I was thrown back a few feet. But I scrambled back onto my feet and charged the werewolf again. Midway through my charge, someone shot a red jet of light at the werewolf. It was quickly followed by another. I stopped and saw Dumbledore himself pointing his wand at the creature. It was enough to send it scampering away. I immediately turned and ducked behind a small clump of trees and transformed back. Remus had scratched me slightly, but it wasn't the worst wound he'd ever given me. I slinked back in the shadows to James and Snape.

"Where did you go?" Snape asked harshly.

"Don't worry about it." I said dismissively.

"All three of you, to my office now." Dumbledore said gravely.

I swallowed. This couldn't end well.

* * *

><p>We were sitting in Dumbledore's office. We, being myself, James, and Snape. Usually when I ended up in Dumbledore's office with James, we were all smiles and triumph. We would be laughing and grinning, having no fear of what Dumbledore would do because, whatever the punishment, it would be worth it. But this time, James and I were stoic and quiet. We knew this time was different. Dumbledore was sitting behind his desk, just staring at us over his half-moon glasses. As usual, I felt extremely uncomfortable under his gaze. It was like he could see right through me, and I hated that.<p>

"So what were you gentlemen doing out of bed at such an hour?" Dumbledore asked after a while.

James and I glanced at each other, asking each other with our eyes what our cover story would be. But before we could decide, Snape opened his big, fat mouth.

"They led me down there and tried to get me mauled by a werewolf." Snape said loudly, pointing at us violently.

James and I sighed in unison, extremely irritated with his lies. Dumbledore looked at James and I, his eyebrows raised.

"He was already out there when we got there." James said in an exasperated tone.

"But it was Black who told me where to go." Snape snapped.

"I didn't tell him that." I said matching James's tone.

"Yes you did. You said, and I quote, "if you poke the three with a stick it freezes and then you can follow Remus Lupin wherever it is he goes on the full moon." You said those exact words." Snape said, mimicking the tone I used fairly accurately.

"I did NOT say that. I said that JAMES AND I would be going down to test those facts. You just twisted them to fit your own agenda." I said, raising my voice a little.

"Mr. Black, calm down please. Regardless of what was said, all of you were out of your dormitories after hours. You especially, Mr. Snape, should not have been out considering what happened earlier this year. In addition to your already strict restrictions, you will now have to be under direct supervision of a staff member. And you will have to serve detention every night for the next three weeks with Mr. Filch." Dumbledore said sternly.

Snape's jaw dropped practically to his knees as he stared in disbelief.

"You may go." Dumbledore said after a moment of silence.

Snape stood up and glared at James and me before storming out of the office. He slammed the door for effect and I winced slightly when it happened. Dumbledore inspected James and I for another long moment, as if he were waiting for something.

"You dropped this." Dumbledore said at last, motioning to a lump of material on his desk.

James's face lit up and he stood up and grabbed it eagerly. I realized that it was the Invisibility Cloak; I had nearly forgotten we even brought it.

"I understand that you are concerned for Remus, but risking your lives to be with him is ridiculous." Dumbledore said gravely.

My heart sank with guilt, more guilt than when I charmed Sky earlier.

"We know." James said softly.

"And dragging others into your recklessness, regardless of the means, is even more dangerous. I have trusted you with a great responsibility when I asked you to join the Order of the Phoenix. When you do things like this, it makes me doubt whether you can handle the responsibilities." Dumbledore continued.

I looked down at my lap. I hated being talked to like this by him. It was the only thing that could really make me feel the weight of my actions. I felt physically sick; I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. I had acted on childish impulses and as an adult, I should have been above those kinds of things. I was angry and I should have thought out what I would have happened if my "plan" succeeded.

"I just hope it won't happen again." Dumbledore said softly.

"It won't." I said, trying to keep my voice even.

There was silence for a moment in which I heard the clock strike two.

"Now hurry back and go to bed." Dumbledore said suddenly.

I looked up at him, confused. Were we not going to get detention?

"What?" James asked.

"I'm sure that Miss Strife and Miss Evans are going to give you more hell than I ever could." Dumbledore said with a strange glint in his eyes.

I gulped; I'd forgotten I'd asked Sky to wait up for me. That meant that it was likely that Lily had stayed up to wait for James. James and I stood up and walked out of the office in silence.

"Are you going to have my back?" I asked before we entered the tower.

"Would you have your back?" James replied in a harsh voice.

I paused to consider it, but James didn't wait for an answer. He opened the doors and strode into the living room, leaving me to scurry behind him. When James reached the space behind the couch, he turned to face me with his arms crossed over his chest. Sky and Lily were sitting on the couch, facing me. They had been smiling but the smiles quickly slid off their faces and were replaced by looks of confusion. My heart plummeted to the area around my kneecaps.


	30. Snap, Crackle, Break

~Sky's POV~

I heard the door swing open and I saw James striding across the room. They were back early, which was a good sign that the night had gone well. But then Sirius entered the room and I immediately felt a disturbance. Usually after I night with Remus, Sirius was lively and energetic. But he looked sullen and guilty, which meant something had gone wrong.

"Are you going to tell them or should I?" James snapped at Sirius.

My brow furrowed as Sirius sighed and looked at the ground.

"What happened? Is someone hurt?" Lily asked quickly.

"No, thank Merlin." James said pointedly.

"Actually, Remus swiped me a little." Sirius said in a mock-enthusiastic tone.

"Oh you poor thing." James said in a tone of very harsh sarcasm.

I looked back and forth between James and Sirius; they never acted liked this toward each other.

"Could someone please tell me what happened?" I asked loudly.

"Sirius nearly had Remus kill Snape." James said very darkly.

Lily gasped and I looked at Sirius. Sirius? Had tried to kill Snape? Using Remus? It was almost unthinkable.

"Why?" I said, breathless.

Sirius sighed again. He looked at the floor, as if trying to gather his thoughts. "He started this horrible rumor and I couldn't let him get away with it. So I told him that we, all of us, wanted a truce. And, as part of the truce, I told him that James and I were going down to the Whomping Willow tonight to find out where Remus went during full moons." Sirius said, speaking slowly, as if he was picking every single word very carefully.

"You did not! You practically told him that Remus was a werewolf!" Lily cried, her voice full of anguish.

"No, I didn't! I told him everything that he already knew but couldn't prove. I told him that we had the same suspicions but couldn't confront Remus about it until we had proof." Sirius said, getting heated.

"But what if he hadn't gone down to see for himself and told a teacher? You could have gotten kicked out of the Order!" Lily went on in that same tone.

"You don't understand! It wouldn't have mattered because I would have gotten him back in another way." Sirius said, raising his voice.

I had sat there listening, trying to get my brain to process what I was hearing.

"What did he say?" I asked in a hoarse whisper.

Sirius stopped and blinked a few times. "What?" he asked, confused.

"What did Snape say? The rumor he started?" I asked in that same whisper.

Sirius took a deep breath, as if to calm himself before answering. "He said that you sleeping with your brother in order to stay at the top of our year and skip Defense. But people were believing him, as if what he was saying made sense. I couldn't have your reputation ruined by a lie like that. And Cloud would have become a laughing stock." Sirius said. His voice started out strong but it grew weaker with every word.

"My reputation? You almost kill someone to save my reputation?" I asked, standing up from the couch. My voice was strangely calm, even though I could feel my anger boiling up inside me.

"It was more than that. After everything he's done, he would have deserved whatever he got." Sirius said.

"So now you can play God? You get to decide who deserves to live and who deserves to die?" I asked harshly.

I was still at a calm volume, and I could tell that Lily and James were bracing for the moment I exploded.

"I was never going to let Remus kill him. Just maul him a little." Sirius said, trying to be cute.

It didn't work to say the least. Sirius had lit my fuse. I closed my eyes and took a few deeps breaths. He didn't care that he would have, if whatever twisted plan he's had worked, used one of his best friends as a murder weapon. I had tolerated his arrogant attitude because I had thought it was harmless, even a little attractive. But this was going too far; I couldn't deal with someone who cared so little for the feelings for others.

"Did you even think about what it would to Remus if Snape had gotten seriously hurt or killed?" I asked, not opening my eyes. There was a pause and I opened my eyes.

"Well, no I—"

"He already hates himself for being a werewolf, even though it isn't his fault. He mopes for days if he hurts any of us on the full moon, even if it is an accident. It would have destroyed him if he had killed or worse bitten someone, even if it was Snape." I said, my voice as cold as ice.

Sirius looked at me with wide eyes. "But he would have understood." Sirius said, his voice small and quiet.

"NO! He would not! Sirius, this is not a simple prank! Someone could have died! It's one thing for us to go out and be with Remus, because we're animals. Most of us have the strength to match a werewolf or the speed to outrun him. Humans are vulnerable to werewolf bites and are like sitting ducks! This is a big deal!" I shouted. Everyone jumped at my sudden volume.

"I got that!" Sirius said loudly back.

He wasn't quite shouting yet, but I could tell it was coming.

"I don't think you do! You never take anything seriously!"

"Actually, I—"

"DAMN YOUR IDIOTIC PUN! You can't even take this seriously! You never think about the consequences of your actions! You never think about anyone but yourself!"

"That's not—"

"I DON'T CARE!"

"This has never been a problem before! You seemed to quite enjoy my large ego!"

Now he was shouting at me. I sighed, extremely angry. He was still so self centered, and there was nothing I could say to make him change.

"Well, before now, it never tried to kill anyone. I can't deal with it anymore. I can't be with someone who has this level of disregard for his friends." I said, starting off shouting, but ending in a normal volume.

Sirius opened his mouth to say something back, but stopped short. He started and looked at me with a shocked and confused expression.

"What?" he asked, breathless.

"If you are willing to intentionally use a friend like this, we can't be together. Until you learn to think about someone other than yourself, we're done." I said.

Sirius looked at me and I could see his heart breaking in his eyes. "What?" he asked again, his voice breaking.

"We're done. This relationship is over." I said, slowly and clearly.

I stoned my heart against the tears running down his face. I knew I was doing the right thing. If I stayed with Sirius and let this blow over, Sirius would never change. He would go through life as an arrogant fool, and that was the most dangerous thing to be in this day and age.

"Good night, Lily, James." I said formally.

I turned on my heel and walked quickly up the stairs to my room. I slammed the door and quickly and emotionlessly changed into my sleep clothes. I crawled into bed and closed the hangings. A few minutes later, I heard the door open and close softly.

"Sky?" I heard Lily ask hesitantly.

I chose not to answer her.

"I hope you knew what you're doing." Lily muttered.

I sighed silently, and as I rolled over to go to sleep, I wished for the same.

* * *

><p>After I broke up with Sirius, the holidays were terrible. Sirius maintained a solid distance from me and there was a stony silence between us. For the sake of our friends, I tried to keep the time where Sirius and I were in the same room together to a minimum. I tried to find legitimate excuses to leave, but when I couldn't, James, Lily, Remus, and when he returned, Peter made the air between all of us extremely uncomfortable. For a while, they refused to acknowledge Sirius, even when he shouted at us. It moved from there to acknowledging him, but only so far as to glare at him.<p>

By the time break was over, James and Sirius were back on speaking terms, albeit tense ones. I knew that it would go like that; James and Sirius were too close to be separated for long. Peter jumped on that bandwagon relatively quickly, which I also expected. When classes started again, Sirius and I tended to sit as far away from each other as possible. It caught on fairly quickly with the general population that Sirius and I were no long a couple, and the rumor mill had a field day. The most popular rumor was that Sirius had cheated on me, although no one could pinpoint exactly who it was he cheated on me with. Many girls stepped up to claim the spot, but their stories fell apart after fairly little examination.

I was approached by several girls about the exact nature of our break up, and I always kept the details vague. I'd always say that it wasn't necessarily a bad break up, but more a mutual agreement. They would ask why and I replied that I knew and he knew and we were the only people who needed to know. A few brave ones asked if he was seeing other people now that we weren't dating. It hurt whenever they asked, but I always told them that if was up to him. I wasn't sure if Sirius was "dating" per say, but he was always surrounded by women. He would talk to them, but I could never tell if he was enjoying their company, either literally or metaphorically.

Sirius still sat with us at meals because he really had no other place to go. Remus, Lily, and I tolerated him for James's sake, but Sirius was being constantly followed by women so there were at least three or four girls with us at meals too. I tolerated their ridiculous banter and mindless fawning for about two weeks, but then I stopped attending meals. For a few days I cooked my own meals, but then I stopped eating. About a week and a half after I felt, Lily stopped attending meals, and she was followed shortly by Remus. I cooked meals for us, but ate only enough to survive. Lily had left because she couldn't stand the Brainless Bimbo Brigade flirting with her James. Well, she didn't say that exactly but alluded to it with her raving about how dumb the girls were.

Valentine's Day came and went. Many girls tried to get Sirius to be their Valentine, but he denied them all. The violently pink and red and white decorations that were hung up for that week made me physically sick, and I often skipped classes that week just to avoid the happy couples. It was a generally miserable time, to say the least.

There were days that I wouldn't speak at all, even to my friends. People I didn't know would try to talk to me and I would shoot them down with silence. The only real comfort I had was Cloud. When I first told him that Sirius and I broke up, he was furious. He wanted to go after Sirius, but after some convincing, he dropped it. I visited him every Saturday, like I always did. We would start off casually drinking tea and making small talk. But then I would stop talking and Cloud left me alone. He would let me sit and stare at his fire while he graded papers or did something at his desk. He would never push me, and that was one of the many reasons I loved him. Often times when I sat there, I'd wish for my easy relationships with my friends back. I missed the laughter and the jokes. I wanted my old life back. But the more I wished, the more miserable I felt.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I can feel the flamers flexing their little flame fingers over the keyboard. Please be kind to me. I know that this isn't the usual fluff that you're used to from me. I'm trying to make the story interesting, and it felt very, I don't want to say forced or cheesy, but it was. Please don't hate me for being a writer who wants to play with her story. And I know angsty Sky is annoying (I don't particularly like her much either), but there is a method to my madness. Just hear me out.**

** Also, if you want to be part of a quasi-survey, PM me. I need to figure something out that relates to this story, and I could use the opinion of my readers. I'm only going to respond to the first five or six, so make sure you message quick if you want to privy to a secret and maybe even influence the fate of the story.**


	31. New Guy

I was lying awake in my bed, waiting for my alarm clock to ring. I had woken up that morning from a nightmare I couldn't remember. I had lied awake since then, waiting for the appropriate time to start getting ready. As usual, the alarm went off and I shut it off within second. I got out of bed and mechanically got ready for classes. I showered, but didn't bother to dry my hair. It hung down my back, soaking through my robe.

I went down to the living room and saw that James and Sirius were in the kitchen. My stomach churned, but I pushed down the urge to vomit. I grabbed my bag off the table and sat down at the breakfast bar. I crossed my arms and put my head down on them. I felt so tired. I was so sick of being tired and not being able to fall asleep. I didn't want to take any potions for it, because there was a real risk of becoming dependent on them or taking too much and never being able to wake up again.

"You okay?" I heard James ask.

There was the sound of china against the counter near me. I shrugged; it seemed like the most accurate and appropriate response to the question.

"History of Magic today. We're covering the always-exciting goblin wars." James said with fake enthusiasm.

Without picking up my head, I lifted one hand and made a small circle in the air with my finger. James chuckled but left me alone. I heard Lily, Remus, and Peter come down after a while. They made small talk while I dozed gently. I heard the clock strike the half hour and everyone sighed. We collectively got up and trudged to History of Magic.

I hated this class for several reasons: 1) because it was a double period; 2) it was a double period with the Ravenclaws, so I always felt inadequate when I did nothing; and 3) History of Magic used to be the class where Sirius and I would goof off and pass notes to each other.

I paid almost no attention to the walk down to the classroom. Lily had her hand in one of mine to make sure I walked with the group. Her hand felt so different in mine compared to Sirius's. As I thought that thought, a wave of nausea swept over me and I turned away from the group, a hand over my mouth.

"You okay?" Liky asked, very concerned.

I gagged a little but was able to push it down. I nodded and looked at my friends. All of their concerned faces were looking at me. As my eyes connected with Sirius's, I gagged again. I ran off to the nearest bathroom. I managed to make it to the stall before the contents of my stomach made another appearance. When I was finished, I flushed and turned to the sink. Lily was standing there, looking even more concerned than before. I sort of pushed past her and went to the sink to rinse my mouth out.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lily asked.

I swished water in my mouth and spit it out. "I'm sure. Why would you think I'm not okay?" I asked, trying to sound slightly chipper.

It didn't really work because my throat and mouth felt like they were coated in sandpaper and my voice came out as a croak.

"Well, you haven't quite been yourself. You're always tired even though you go to bed much earlier than the rest of us. You're quiet and not really eating. And now this vomiting. Ever since you broke up with Sirius, you just haven't been normal." Lily said quickly.

It sounded like she'd been waiting for the opportunity to say these things and now she was rushing to get them out just in case I cut her off before she could finish. I shrugged in response because had more water in my mouth.

"Do you think that breaking up with Sirius was really the right thing to do?" Lily asked hesitantly.

I spit out the water and sighed. I turned around to her at her. She was looking at me like she wasn't really sure of what she was saying. She was biting her bottom lip and she was making her eyes extra big, something she liked to do when she tried to make someone feel guilty. I sighed and opened my mouth to respond, but the first bell rang, signaling that we only had a few minutes to get to class. She gave me a look that clearly told me that I wasn't getting out of this that easily. I rolled my eyes at her.

We rushed to class and found that we were among the last people to arrive. Our friends had saved us seats next to them. Lily sat down next to James and I sat down next to her. A guy that I vaguely recognized sat on my other side. I brought out my quill, ink, and parchment to get ready to pretend to take notes. I put my head down, folding my arms over my stomach. I could still taste the bile in my mouth, and I had a pounding headache.

Binns started his droning lecture, but I didn't move. I heard Lily's hand spring into action. I closed my eyes, my mind completely exhausted. I felt myself drifting off, but then I felt someone nudge my shoulder. I looked to see the guy on my other side sending meaningful glances at a piece of parchment between us. I sat up and slid the paper onto the one I was supposed to be taking notes on.

**Are you okay? You don't look so well.**

I glanced at this guy and he smiled at me. He seemed vaguely familiar, but I couldn't put a name to the face.

_Yeah, I'm fine. Do I know you?_ I wrote back.

I slid the paper back over to him. He read it, gave me a wry smile, wrote something, and slid it back. I took the intervening moments to look at him more closely. This guy had really pretty chestnut colored hair that was cut relatively close to his head. There was enough length to his hair for him to expertly ruffle it up to give the appearance that he just rolled out of bed, even in the late afternoon. His eyes were a stunning shade of sea-green and seemed to shine bright with laughter. When he smiled, he showed his perfect, practically white teeth. I saw that he was a Ravenclaw by the colors of his tie. Handsome AND smart, not a usual combination. When he slid the paper back to me, I looked it with mild curiosity.

**You borrowed my hankie at Slughorn's party. **

_No wonder you look familiar. I'm sorry I never gave that back. Things happened and I completely forgot._

**No worries. I'm Liam McMillin by the way. **

_Sky Strife, but you probably already knew that._

**Yeah, you ARE pretty infamous. **

I looked at him and was smirking at me.

_What is that supposed to mean? _

**Just that you run with James Potter and Sirius Black, the two most infamous people in the school. **

_Is that a bad thing?_

**No. It's actually pretty impressive. Your pranks are legendary. **

I looked at him and he was smiling charmingly at me. I blushed a little at the compliment.

**Would you want to tell me about them? **

_That would be giving away secrets. I wouldn't want you to try and outdo us. _

Liam gave me a look of skepticism.

**Like anyone could ever outdo that pudding fiasco. **

I had to stifle a laugh as I remembered that glorious prank. It had been during the Halloween feast of our fourth year. The elves had served rice pudding, but it had been special rice pudding. It had been special because it had been turned orange and black. Everyone had thought that the elves were getting festive, but it had actually been James, Sirius, and I. We had bewitched it to turn those colors and then fly into the air and start making Halloween-themed shapes. Everyone was very impressed with the show, but then, right after the pudding spelled out 'Happy Halloween', it exploded. Rice pudding covered everyone and everything, walls, tables, and people alike. Of course, Sirius, James and I could hardly contain ourselves so we ended up getting caught and given two months of separate detentions. It was after that detention that we ended up getting the enchanted mirrors. My smile faded as I remembered the ease of my friendship with James and Sirius back then.

**If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.**

I shook myself mentally and smiled at him.

_You were there. What's to tell? _

**Touché. Well, maybe we could just have some pleasant conversation over dinner. **

_Like a date?_

When Liam read that, he looked at me for a moment, and I could see a little bit of hope in his clear eyes. He wrote something on the slip of paper, and slid it back to me hesitantly.

**Only if you want it to be.**

I looked up and stared across the room without really seeing. Part of me wanted to tell this guy to take a hike. I had just ended a very long and intense relationship, and it seemed almost wrong to go on a date so soon. But the majority of me really felt like this date was a good idea. Liam didn't seem like he was trying to play me, and it seemed only fair that I should be able to go on dates with other guys if Sirius was allowed to be followed around by the Brainless Bimbo Brigade. And it felt good that someone wanted to be around me just to hang out with me.

_Okay. What do you have in mind? _

I slid the not back over to Liam and I watched his face light up like a candle.

**Maybe just dinner together tonight. I can get somewhere for us to eat privately and wrangle up some food. **

_Sounds good. When and where do you want to meet? _

**Entrance Hall at seven? **

I looked up and smiled. I nodded and Liam smiled his perfect smile. I felt a slight blush creep onto my cheeks and my heart fluttered a little. It felt strange to feel like this. I never thought that I could be reduced to a blushing school girl so soon after my break up with Sirius. Right at that moment, the bell rang signaling the end of the double class period.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I've been writing last a mad woman these past few days. I'm hoping to put out a few more chapters soon. Please message me if you want to help determine the fate of this story. You won't be sorry.**


	32. Emotion and Bias

Everyone started gathering up their things, but I was lost in Liam's eyes and smile for a few more heartbeats. Then Lily accidently bumped into me and the spell was broken. I gathered up my things and shoved them hastily in my bag.

"So I'll see you tonight?" a voice said.

I looked up and over seeing that Liam was standing and smiling at me.

"Yeah. See you later?" I said, a little breathlessly.

He smiled a little wider and then walked away. I smiled at his back and stood up myself.

"What was that about?" Lily asked, a little suspicion sneaking into her voice.

"Oh, nothing." I said, feeling genuinely happy for the first time in weeks.

"Nothing?" Lily asked, her voice full of suspicion now.

"Well, his name is Liam and he's in Ravenclaw and we're going to eat dinner together tonight." I said, my voice chipper as our group walked out of the classroom.

"Like in the Great Hall?" Lily asked.

"No, a private dinner." I said, still smiling.

"You're going on a date?" Lily asked, her tone saying that she was not happy about this.

"Yes. Am I not allowed to go on dates?" I shot back. She had pushed a strange button and it made me angry.

"I'm not saying that. It's just strange for you. A little out of character." Lily said, trying to backpedal.

"Well, maybe I'm a different person. It's been over two years since I've been single." I snapped harshly.

"Okay, Songbird, just chill. It's no big deal." James said.

I huffed and stalked off, leaving them to catch up with me. We reached the tower and I flopped down on the couch, feeling thoroughly guilty for snapping at Lily.

"Lily." I said, softly and pitifully.

"Yes?" she asked, a little irritated.

"I'm sorry for snapping at you. I don't know what came over me." I said, my voice cracking as the tears began.

I broke off into soft sobs and Lily rushed over to me.

"Oh, Sky. It's not that big of a deal. I'm fine." She said, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me into her chest.

"You all have been so worried about me and I've been such a burden. It's not fair to you guys." I said between little sobs.

I couldn't explain this sudden surge of guilt and tears. I just felt so terrible for everything I've done to my friends, whether directly or indirectly. Lily was rocking me gently and petting my hair.

"You haven't been that much trouble. And we're friends, so we don't mind the times you can be a handful." James said.

He had moved from the kitchen and was sitting on the coffee table in front of me and Lily. Remus had also moved to the couch on my other side and he was looking at me, a hand on my shin, the only part of me that Lily hadn't gathered up in her arms.

"Really?" I asked softly, my tears starting to dry up.

"Really. We love you, Songbird. Regardless of all your faults, we wouldn't want you any other way." Remus said, his voice and smile warm and comforting.

"Oh you guys." I said, my tears dry.

I wrapped one arm around Lily's torso and reached back to take Remus's hand. I locked eyes were James and smile. I sat up from Lily and wiped my eyes.

"I don't know what came over me, but you guys are the best." I said, laughing a little.

They all chuckled, but then James looked curiously at the door.

"Where're you going, Pads?" he asked.

We all looked and saw that Sirius had frozen with one hand on the handle. He turned back to us with his carefree smile.

"Just for a walk." He said.

His face and voice said that he was just as happy as he had been for a long time, but his eyes show his deep pain. My brow furrowed as I watched him smile by the door. Sirius seemed happy as a lark he had been reestablished as Hogwarts' most eligible bachelor and had been followed around by girls almost constantly. What did he have to be sad about? Sirius's eyes met mine and I looked away quickly.

"Don't be out long," James said.

"I have my mirror if you need me." Sirius said.

He walked out of the tower and silence fell. The grandfather clock struck six and I gasped. I only had an hour to get ready. I rushed up the stairs and into my room. I started tearing through my clothes. I had no idea what to wear.

"You shower and I'll pick something for you." Lily said, coming into our room.

I smiled gratefully at her and I ran into our bathroom. As I showered, I grew steadily more nervous. I never really went on "dates" in the formal sense with Sirius. We hung out alone together a lot, but it always felt very casual. The closest we ever got to going on a real date was one time in our sixth year when we went into Madame Puddifoot's as a joke. What did people talk about on dates? The conversation between Sirius and I was always so easy; even our silences were comfortable. I finished up my shower and dried off quickly. I magically dried my hair. I walked out into my room and found Lily had laid out an outfit on my bed. It was a pair of dark washed skinny jeans, a light gold blouse with a loose black cardigan and black heeled booties.

I got dressed quickly and braided my hair in a single plait down my back. I put on very simple make up, lining my eyes and glossing my lips. I walked down to the living room and found everyone eating at the table. Everyone, that is, except Sirius; it seemed that he still hadn't come back from his walk.

"Cute. Who is this guy again?" James said, his mouth half full.

"Liam McMillin. He's in Ravenclaw." I said, walking over to the mirror to quadruple check my appearance.

"The pretty boy in our History of Magic class?" Remus said with a chuckle.

I shot him a dark look and he went stone serious.

"Well, at least he's a Ravenclaw. God forbid you ever look at a Hufflepuff." James said.

"What's wrong with Hufflepuff?" Lily shot quickly.

"Well, think about it. If they were a little smarter, they'd be in Ravenclaw; if they were a little braver, they'd be in Gryffindor; if they were a little more cunning, they'd be in Slytherin. Hufflepuffs just…ARE. They're average." James said between bites.

"Well said!" Peter squeaked.

I rolled my eyes at him. I never took anything Peter said seriously anymore.

"Your logic would be sound if it wasn't so condescending." Lily said with a matter-of-fact tone.

"I never said that Gryffindor was the best, just better than Hufflepuff," James said with a chuckle.

Remus gave a small chuckle too, but Peter laughed like James had just told the best joke in the world.

"Good one, Prongs." Peter said, thumping the table and wiping his eye.

"What was good?" I heard from the door.

I turned and saw that Sirius was standing at the door. His hair was windblown, like he had been flying or outside in the wind.

"James is making condescending observations about the Houses." Remus said, taking on a perfect imitation of Lily's matter-of-fact tone.

"What? Like Hufflepuffs are next to useless because they're not particularly good at anything?" Sirius said with a chuckle.

"Not quite so harsh, but something like that." James said, a little tensely.

"That's not condescending; that's a fact." Sirius said.

He walked over and casually flopped down on the couch. I watched his easy movements and it tugged at my heart. His casual elegance was something that many people envied and tried to imitate; very few people, if any at all, could walk with as much authority but with such ease of motion as Sirius. It was strange that I was noticing all these things now. But my thoughts were interrupted when I glanced at the clock and saw that it was quarter to seven. I jumped and walked quickly to the door. I turned back and grinned at Lily. She gave me the thumbs up and I walked out of the door.


	33. And Then There Was Light

~Sirius's POV~

I watched as the door closed behind Sky. I sighed silently; she looked so sexy in her tight jeans and heels.

"Who is she meeting?" I asked in a monotone.

"That's none of your business. She could be going on a date with the giant squid and it wouldn't matter." Lily snapped.

"Merlin's beard, Lily. It was a simple, innocent question. I meant nothing by it." I said, slightly offended and taken aback by her hostility.

"You are never innocent, Sirius Black. Not guilty, perhaps, but never innocent." She said darkly.

She turned on her heel and stormed up the stairs. I stayed silent until I heard the echo of her door closing come down the stairs.

"So who is she meeting?" I asked again. James and Remus sighed in unison.

"Liam McMillin. He's in Ravenclaw and in our History of Magic class." Remus said heavily.

"The pretty one?" I asked standing up and walking to the table.

I sat down next to James and across from Remus. Peter got up and took his dishes to the kitchen sink. James nodded gravely.

"I thought he was gay." I said thoughtfully.

Peter walked quickly up the stairs, probably to go to our room.

"Far from it. From what little I've heard, he's perfect. He's kind, considerate, and a true gentleman." Remus said.

"Where did you hear that?" I asked.

"You'd be surprised what kinds of gossip girls talk about when they're "studying" in the library." Remus said, taking on a sarcastic tone at the end. I nodded at him thoughtfully.

"Knut for your thoughts." James said after a few moments of silence.

"I'm going for a walk." I said suddenly.

I needed to get my head in order, and I did my best thinking while walking.

"You're not going to look for them, are you?" James asked as I walked to the door.

I turned back to James. "Of course not. The last thing I need is another reason for her to hate me." I said with a chuckle.

James looked at me with a half scolding, half amused look. I turned and continued out of the tower. After the arch disappeared, I let my feet carry me through the halls while my mind wandered. It started off pretty simply, but as it always did, my mind came back around to Sky. She had agreed to go on a date with this Liam character. I had noticed this guy before. He was objectively attractive and had nearly as large of a following as I did. His appeal was very different from mine, though. In my case, my appeal came from being the bad boy that mothers warned their daughters about. It was nice because I could be with whomever I wanted and they never really expected fidelity or commitment out of me. Liam's appeal, however, came from being the boy a girl could take home and introduce to her mom. He was a pretty boy with a squeaky clean record.

I really couldn't understand what Sky saw in him. He was pretty one-dimensional, or at least that's what I could ascertain from the chatter of the girls that followed me around. Those girls, whom I couldn't really name individually, tended to ignore me about three-fourths of the time and gossiped among themselves. The other quarter of the time, the time that was spent around my friends, they fawned over me. I was used to it because it happened a lot before I started dating Sky. Before, all the fawning was a real boost to my ego. Now it was sort of annoying. I mean, it was nice to be adored, but these girls were so shallow. They were always talking about how hot I was or how sexy this body part or that body part was. They never even bothered to take the time to see how smart I was or see my uncanny wit and humor. Even Peter could see these things and admired them.

I ran a hand moodily through my hair. I couldn't understand why these things were bothering me. Only a few years ago, I would have felt like the king of the world if I was being followed around almost constantly by a pack of fan girls.

**Maybe you're growing up. **A little voice in the back of my mind said. I scoffed at the thought.

_I was done growing up when I walked out of my house. _I answered myself.

**Maybe not. Maybe you're seeing everything like an adult now. You've had a lot of adult experiences since you walked out. **That little voice went on.

_You sound like Dumbledore. _I thought, rolling my eyes.

The little voice had no response.

I continued walking, thinking about what the little voice had said. I didn't want to admit it, but it was right. Since I had walked out, I had gone through almost my entire relationship with Sky, witness her kidnapping and near death, joined the Order, and learned what it was like to have my heart broken. Maybe I wasn't done growing up.

But my thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a familiar laugh. I looked around and didn't see anything. I saw that I had ended up at the top of the stairs near the entrance hall. I heard the laugh again and I saw that Sky and Liam were coming out of the hallway that led to the kitchens. Liam had a picnic basket on one arm and Sky on the other. I hid in the shadows and watched them. Sky looked absolutely stunning. She was laughing and the light from the candles was bouncing off of her hair.

"I'm glad you knew where to get food. I feel like a terrible date now." Liam was saying.

I narrowed my eyes; that was a terrible attempt at flattery. But Sky still giggled and excused his lapse in knowledge.

"Where are we headed?" she asked in a strangely interested voice.

I knew her well enough to know that she used that voice when she was forcing herself to be interested. I watched as they started walking up the stairs toward me. I was well hidden behind a statue, but they were too absorbed in each other to notice anything.

"It's supposed to be a very clear night tonight." Liam said.

"Oh?" Sky questioned cleverly. I rolled my eyes.

A starlit dinner at the Astronomy Tower was so clichéd. At least when I made special plans for Sky and me, it had some originality. They walked by my and I watched them go, fighting with my conscience. I had told James that I wouldn't spy on her date. But I had to know what I was up against. So I followed them up to the Astronomy Tower, keeping enough distance between myself and them so I could still hear them, but they wouldn't notice me.

When they reached the tower, I saw that Liam had put down a blanket and two candles. The nearly full moon lit the majority of the area but it left plenty of shadows for me to hide in. I found a good spot that gave me a good view of Sky's face but still kept me well hidden. Sky and Liam sat down on the blanket and Liam started dishing out the food. Sky's lips were a thin line, showing her irritation. She hated being treated like a child, and someone serving her food to her was one of her switches.

I thought she was going to snap at him, but she smiled politely whenever he glanced up at her. I could just picture the eager puppy look on his face. Most of the guys Sky talked to outside of the Marauders had a look like that on their faces when she was around. She didn't really date many guys. I could only really remember her officially dating some kid in our second year, but it lasted all of two weeks. She talked to guys, but never really gave them the time of day.

Now that I was really thinking about it, I had been Sky's first and only real boyfriend. And I had been her _first._

I felt like a light switch had been flipped and I was seeing everything for the first time. She had trusted me to have all of her. And I had betrayed that trust by trying to use Remus as a potential murder weapon. To her, it probably looked like I care so little about other people, what was stopping me from just tossing her aside like I tossed Remus aside? I felt physically sick. I was so selfish; no wonder Sky barely wanted to even look at me. And now I was making it worse by spying on her. I looked at Sky and Liam again. They were absorbed in conversation so I slipped away from the scene. I walked quickly back to the tower and found that James was sitting alone at the table. He looked like he had been reading something. He turned when I entered and his brow furrowed.

"You look like you've seen something amazing." He said as I crossed the room.

"I have." I said, my voice faint.

I sat down across the table from him. He had been reading some leaflets from the Ministry about jobs. It was curious, but I was too concerned with my recent revelation to really notice. I put my head in my hands.

"What did you see?" James asked, his voice intense.

"I've finally seen myself. Like really seen myself. I'm such an idiot, a selfish, immature, git. It's a small wonder that Sky didn't break up with me sooner." I said, shaking my head.

"If you don't mind me asking, what brought about this epiphany?" James asked, sounding slightly startled.

"I just realized how much Sky trusted me and how badly I blew it." I said my voice cracking a little.

"You really did blow it." James said letting out a puff of air.

"Thanks for your support." I said sarcastically.

"Look, I'm trying not to insult you, but you made a huge mistake and haven't done much since to make up for it. I'm actually genuinely shocked that Remus is even speaking with you, considering you never formally apologized. I'm guessing that he's just glad that he didn't actually kill anyone. I mean, I love you like a brother, but you really fucked up this time." James said, a little callously.

"It's because I don't know what to do. Anything I do seems to drive her away." I said, steadily becoming more morose.

James sighed. We say in silence for a while, and I knew that James was studying me. While we were sitting there, the clock struck the hour and soon after that, the door opened. I looked up and saw that Sky had come back looking radiant. She was smiling wider than I had seen in months. I wiped all of the emotion off of my face, even though I felt like my blood was hot and a giant was squeezing my heart. She sighed happily, obviously not noticing James or myself.

"Had a good time them?" James asked.

She looked over to us and her smile fell a little.

"Yes, Liam was wonderful. It was so romantic. We had dinner up on the Astronomy Tower under the stars." She said, her voice quick and excited.

She was talking exclusively to James, effectively ignoring me like she always did. I felt my blood turn to ice. She was so happy with this guy; how was I supposed to compete with that when she wouldn't even look at me?

"How clichéd." James laughed.

It was the same thought I had, but he could voice his opinion.

"It was, but it wasn't. I've never done anything like that, so it was a nice experience." She said with a sigh.

I looked down at the table top; what about all of those lakeside picnics I planned? Did those not count?

"Well, I'm going to bed. Lily is probably waiting for a play-by-play." She said with a soft laugh.

She wished James good-night and went upstairs. I sighed once I heard her door close. James whistled a long, low whistle and I let out a humorless chuckle.

"That's tough. He's like a freaking Prince Charming." James said.

"I know. How am I supposed to win her back when Mr. Perfect has her wrapped around his little finger?" I said miserably.

I crossed my arms on the table and buried my head in them. Up until this point, I had a glimmer of hope that there was some way for me to win back my Songbird. But now it seemed like there was nothing I could do. I had lost her to Liam "Mr. Perfect" McMillin. James sighed again.

"You really want her back?" James deadpanned.

"Like you wouldn't believe. Nothing feels right without her. I was ready to marry her, but then this mess blew up." I said, my voice muffled by my arms.

James sighed again and there was a pause.

"Look, I'm going to help you." James said after a while.

I sat bolt upright and grinned at my best friend.

"Prongs, you're a bloody saint." I said happily, starting to get up to hug him.

"I'm not doing it because I'm a good person. I'm sick of both of you moping and the Marauders just don't have the same vibe as before. And I really don't trust this Liam guy. At least I knew you have honorable intentions." James said, stopping me from pouncing on him.

I smirked at James. "I don't care. You could be doing it because you want to watch me squirm. As long as you help me figure out what to do to win her back." I said. James smirked back at me.

"Well, now we have plan." James said.

We sat at the table and made a five phase plan that seemed fool proof. When we went to bed, I felt like I had my glimmer of hope back and more. There was no way that I was going to lose my Songbird. I fell asleep with a smile and dreamed of her.


	34. Flaws

**A/N: So I've decided to start commenting on the reviews I've been getting. I'm doing this with my other story and it feels good. It shows you that I care about what you have to say. I do read every review, and I find that I want to send everyone a private message to answer, but that takes time that I do not necessarily have. So I'll just do it here:**

**Princess-Amon-Rae: You've been with me since practically the beginning, and I thank you for your continued readership of this series. But I just have to say, patience grasshopper. What will be, will be.**

**Owliegirl: You ask many questions, all of which will hopefully be answered soon. I have the rest of this portion of the series planned out, and I think everything will be explained. I hope you stick around to finish this.**

**Also, while I'm at this, I might as well ask a question. I'm not sure how I want to continue with this series. How do you, as readers, feel about fanfictions that go into the canon, espcially with Harry Potter? I try to avoid it, because there is a lot of stuff to deal with there. But, if you want me to continue with this series, please let me know. I only write when people want to read. Your feedback is appreciated. If you want me to answer your questions or comments, please feel free to review. Also, I am writing another fanfic. It is a Lord of the Rings fanfiction, so if you are interested in that sort of thing, please feel free to head over and give it a look. Now that my shameless plug is over, on with the story!**

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><p>~Sky's POV~<p>

It had been two weeks since my first date with Liam. We weren't officially dating, but we definitely weren't seeing anyone else. I was sitting in a corner of the library, trying to get some work done, and enjoying some alone time. It was rare that I could get away from everyone. Unfortunately, my alone time was short lived; James sat down on the opposite bench with a sigh.

"Why, hello stranger." He said.

"Stranger?" I laughed.

"You never seem to be in the tower. You're always with Liam." James said, his voice full of mock sadness.

I laughed softly, but kept at my work.

"What do you see in him?" James asked casually.

"Well, he's kind, understanding, funny, and not to mention attractive." I said with a sigh.

Liam had been _the _perfect guy over the last two weeks. He always made sure that I felt welcome among his Ravenclaw friends, even though I knew they all thought that I was as dull as a brick. Liam was chivalrous and caring. He was almost obnoxiously interested in my life and we spent a lot of time talking about me. We did talk about him from time to time, but he was almost ridiculously humble.

"Well, there must be some flaw that makes him interesting." James said skeptically.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously. I was wondering where James was going with this.

"Well, look at us and our friends. Me, I'm devilishly attractive."

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, but he continued over me.

"But I know I'm loyal to the point of ignorance. I mean, you could tell me that Peter was chummy with the Slytherins, and I would punch you in the face for telling such a ridiculous lie." James laughed at his own joke.

My gaze snapped up to him. I had half a nerve to tell him that it wasn't as ridiculous as he made it out to be, but he plowed on.

"Your pride is such a big thing to you that you'd probably be willing to eat bugs just so people thought you weren't a coward."

I had to shrug, because he was right; that sounded like a very likely scenario.

"Peter is such a weakling that he needs people like us to protect him. Remus's issue prevents him from thinking very highly of himself. And Sirius has been fighting to prove that he isn't like this family."

I had to laugh out loud at that. If that was Sirius's big flaw, then I was a duck.

"What? He has." James said, slightly defensively.

"Yes, but that is definitely not his biggest flaw." I said, still laughing slightly.

"Then what is?" James challenged.

"Well, he's arrogant to the point of ignorance. He thinks that the rules don't apply to him, and that comes from his childhood. He seems to think that he's God's gift to the world and he thinks that everyone should be thankful to know him. He really doesn't think about anyone except himself and doesn't even do things for exclusively the benefit of others." I said, feeling slightly heated.

"Do those things make him interesting?" James pushed.

"No, they make him insufferable." I said in a harsh whisper.

"So if he just apologized for those things, then would he be sufferable?" James said with casual curiosity.

I could sense an ulterior motive to his questions, but I couldn't pinpoint a cause. "It would take a lot more than an apology." I said, returning to my work.

"What would it take?" James asked.

I sighed and put down my quill. I looked at James critically. His hazel eyes were shining bright with curiosity from under his glasses. His untidy mop of jet black hair looked more unruly than normal, suggesting that he might have either been messing it up manually, or had just gotten off a broom. I sighed again; I couldn't see any harm in telling James.

"He would have to prove that he's a real human. He would have to prove that he genuinely felt bad for almost all of the terrible things he's done. I won't hold him accountable for anything we did together, but he's hurt a lot of people." I said intensely.

"But you said that an apology wouldn't do it." James said, confused.

"I didn't say apology. "Actions speak louder than words." I said, looking him in the eye.

"That's true." James replied.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, and returned to my work.

"You never said if Liam had a flaw." James said slyly.

I chuckled lightly. "I haven't found one yet. He's perfect." I said with a happy sigh.

"Well, maybe that's his flaw." James said cryptically.

I looked up at him, confused.

"Well, I've got to meet Lily. I'll see you later." James said, gathering up the stuff he had been carrying.

"When are you going to officially ask her out?" I teased.

James shrugged. "I'm waiting for the opportune moment." James said.

He waved goodbye and walked away quickly. I sighed and shook my head; I would never understand James Potter for as long as I lived.

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><p>~Sirius's POV~<p>

I was pacing anxiously across the floor of my dorm room. I was waiting for James to come back. He promised that he would talk to Sky and complete Phase One: "Figure out why Sky is mad". I was beginning to think that he had forgotten when James burst through the door. I jumped and looked at my best friend. James looked like he was deep in thought, and I didn't want to interrupt him, but I was too anxious.

"Did you find out?" I asked eagerly.

"Yeah, but you're not going to like it." James said with a sigh.

"If it's going to help me win her back, then I'll take it." I said desperately.

"Well, she thinks you're insufferable." James said, flopping down on his bed.

"She thinks I'm what?" I asked in disbelief.

"Insufferable." James repeated with the same matter-of-fact tone.

"When did this revelation happen? She seemed to suffer me well enough before." I said, getting a little upset.

"Well, now she's had a chance to step away from you and objectively see you for who you are. Hell, she probably is the expert on you and your habits." James said, a little too casually.

"Regardless, what did she say I needed to fix?" I said, shaking my head.

"Before I say this, please don't get upset." James said, sitting up and getting serious.

"I won't. I need to know this if I'm ever going to win her back." I said soberly.

I sat on my bed and James turned to face me.

"Well, she thinks you're arrogant." James started.

"She does?"

"To the point of ignorance, to quote her exactly. She thinks that you think you're above the rules and that everyone should worship the ground you walk on."

"Are you kidding me?"

"No, and it gets worse. She thinks that you don't do anything exclusively for the benefit of others."

"What does that even mean?"

"Basically, if you do something and you claim just to be doing it out of the kindness of your heart, she thinks that you really aren't, that you are doing it because you think that there will be some kind of benefit to you in the long run."

"Doesn't everyone think like that?"

"Apparently not."

I sighed and looked at my hands.

I couldn't really deny any of these things because they were all true. I was confident, but confidence is just arrogance in disguise, if I was going to be perfectly honest with myself. I did often think about any possible benefits for myself before helping anyone, and I very rarely did anything that didn't come with direct benefits for myself.

"She said that you have to prove that you're sorry and have changed." James continued in a grave voice.

"So just an apology?" I asked, looking up. James shook his head.

"Actions speak louder than words." James said, his voice soft and almost sad.

"Of course they do." I said with a sigh. I looked back down at my hands.

"You've got a lot of work to do. She wants you to make up for all of the wrong you've done and heal all the wounds you've made. Anything we encouraged you to do is exempt."

"What does that even mean? I can't possibly prove that I'm sorry for every terrible thing I've done." I said, now starting to get angry. It was impossible for me to meet those demands.

"I know, mate; but she's got all the power right now. You have to do what she wants if you want her back." James said with a sigh.

"But this is ridiculous. It's almost like she set the bar so high so that I'll never be able to get her back or…" I stopped, my eyes growing wide with my realization.

"Or what?" James asked, pushing a little.

"That's just it. There can't be an "or" because nothing else makes sense. She knows that I'll never be able to apologize and make up for every wrong I've done. She wants me to try and make a fool out of myself in the process, but she'll never take me back. She'll keep yanking on the string, keeping the prize just out of reach." I said, a little breathless.

I stood up and walked over to the window. There was still snow on the ground, but it was steadily disappearing. Spring was definitely on its way.

"You really think so?" James said, sounding a little skeptical.

"She wants me to learn humility. How better to humble me than to have me chasing after something I could never obtain?" I deadpanned.

James sighed again. "So what are you going to do?"

I turned back to him and set my shoulders. "What else? I'm going to chase it. If I know anything, I know that I will never giver her up. And once I make up my mind about something, heaven help the person who tried to get me to change my mind. And I also know that I can chase her longer than she can run." I said with a smirk.

James looked at me like I was crazy. Maybe I was. But I knew that Sky was my soul mate, and I wasn't going to give up on her. Not even if I had to chase her until my last breath.


	35. Official

~Sky's POV~

We were heading down to yet another Order training. I had to admit that these trainings had been useful and we've definitely improves over these past months. But we were starting to plateau. I, personally, was ready to go on a real mission. We reached the Great Hall, and I felt a chill run down my spine. The castle was always drafty, but this felt different. It felt like something was about to happen.

James stopped us before we entered the Great Hall. We paused for several heartbeats. James held up five fingers, and then lowered his hand and held up five more. That meant that there were ten people waiting in the Great Hall. I sighed, and pulled out my wand. It must be another pop quiz. James cleared the Map and tucked it away. We closed up the space between us and moved cautiously into the Great Hall. When we entered, we tensed for attack, but none came. We found that all ten people were seated around a table in the middle of the room. Dumbledore stood up and smiled at us.

"Today's training has been suspended. We're having a meeting. Please have a seat." He said calmly.

Dumbledore motioned to the end of the table where there were several empty chairs. I lowered my wand and looked at my friends. All of us were smiling excitedly; we had been dreaming of the day when we would get to go to our first Order meeting. We all walked to the chairs. I sat between Sirius and James. Lily sat on James's other side and Remus sat across from me and Peter next to him.

"Welcome to the Order." A girl on Sirius's other side said with a smile.

She looked only a few years older than us. I vaguely recognized her, but I couldn't figure out from where.

"Oh you probably don't remember me. I'm Alice Prewett. Well, soon to be Longbottom. This is my fiancé, Frank." She went on after none of us responded.

"Oh, Alice! Congratulations!" Lily said happily.

Now I remembered her. She had longer hair when she had been in school, which was what threw me off. Alice and Frank had been in Gryffindor and were two years older than us. Frank had been popular enough, but he ran in different circles than the Marauders. He looked similar, if only slightly more tired. The doors opened again and Hagrid come in followed by McGonnagal. She had probably been out doing rounds. Dumbledore stood up again and greeted them. They moved to fill the last two empty seats at the table. McGonnagal sat next to Remus and Hagrid sat in a chair at the end of the table that must have been magically reinforced to hold his great weight. Dumbledore remained standing and everyone fell silent.

"I call this meeting to order." Dumbledore said.

James chuckled once quietly, admiring the pun. Lily shot him a look and he became very serious.

"I'm going to skip over old business because it is eerily similar to current business. We are still addressing the issue of the disappearances and the issue of membership."

"Ours or theirs?" Sirius mumbled moodily.

"Both." Alice whispered back.

"Alastor." Dumbledore said. He sat down as Moody stood up.

"As you can see, our numbers are very few. And compared to what we know of Voldemort's forces, this group we have here doesn't stand a chance." Moody said in his usual grumpy tone.

I sighed, realizing what was coming. Moody was going to go off on a rant about how powerful Voldemort was and how none of us stood a chance without proper training.

"What do we know, exactly, of Voldemort's forces?" Sirius asked suddenly.

I looked at him sharply. He had a very serious look on his face, and I could see a little bit of concern in his eyes. Usually when it came to the Order, Sirius regarded almost everything with his usual casual arrogance, as if nothing was of great enough importance to call for his true concern. Now it seemed like he was starting to take this seriously.

"That's nothing for you to be—"

"Oh, Alastor. Don't treat them like children." Alice said, talking over the end of Moody's sentence.

Moody's eyes went wide, obviously taken aback by her insolence. "They're still students. They are still children." Moody sputtered.

"Are any of you still under age?" Alice asked, turning to us.

We all shook our heads.

"They may still be students, but they are old enough to make decisions. If they want to know what everyone else at this table knows, then I see no reason to deny them that." Alice said, a smug smirk on her face.

She sat back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest. Moody seemed very flustered, which was very new to me. We were all used to the Moody that barked orders and degraded us. This Moody that could be reduced to a sputtering mess was a wonderful sight. Moody turned to Dumbledore, who had been observing the proceedings with his usual serene amusement, for support.

"They are going to find out eventually. It's time they knew the truth." Dumbledore said softly.

Moody sighed, defeated. He looked back to our end of the table, his gaze a little dark. "Just remember, you asked for this. Don't come running to us when you get nightmares." Moody said, obviously irritated.

I rolled my eyes; my own personal nightmare were enough, and I highly doubted anything he said could scare me more than the thought of being the playing to m little group of Death Eaters again.

"As you probably know, Voldemort has his group of followers called the Death Eaters. They are powerful witches and wizards that think the world should be ruled exclusively by magical people, namely purebloods." Moody started.

We all nodded; this much we knew all too much about.

"Well, he doesn't just have witches and wizards. He's gaining control of dementors, giants, trolls, banshees, and all other manner of dark creatures." Moody went on.

He was stumping around the table at this point, and saying everything very slowly, as if to drive the point home.

"So what's the problem with recruiting people for our side? You would think that a lot of people would be against a society where trolls and dementors run amuck." Sirius said with a rational amount of confusion in his voice.

I hated to admit it, but he had a valid point. If someone came up to me on the street and told me that someone was trying to take over the world, after I determined that they weren't a complete nutter, I would run to the enlistment queue.

"Well, it's hard when there's so little proof." Moody growled.

"What do you mean? We read about a new disappearance at least three times a week." James asked, violently confused.

"The Ministry keeps writing them off as strange coincidences. Until they admit that something's going on, it will be very hard to get members." Moody barked angrily.

It made me jump; I was unsure if he was angry at us for all the questions or the Ministry for suppressing the seriousness of the situation.

"Is there anything we can do?" Sirius asked.

I looked at him sharply. I half expected him to not be interested in this sort of thing because there was no action or glory in it. But it was a pleasant surprise to see him prioritizing.

"No. You need to worry about your training." Moody snapped, thumping back over to his chair and sitting down.

"But there are things we can do without even leaving the school. We can write letters to people we know. Even if we can't get them to join us, we can at least get people aware of what's going on so they're not completely ignorant." Sirius said heatedly, standing up and pounding his fist on the table.

I stared wide-eyed at Sirius. It was like I was seeing a whole new side of him, and I liked it. He was treating this whole thing seriously and he seemed genuinely concerned about the welfare of others.

"It's a nice theory, but I highly doubt anyone is going to listen to you." Moody said with a chuckle.

"Tell me why not? Because we're children?" Sirius bitterly threw back at him.

"Well, yes." Moody said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"So our parents and siblings won't believe us?" Sirius said, making an encompassing gesture to us.

I was still staring at Sirius curiously. It was a nice change to see him so passionate about something worth being passionate about.

"Well, of course they would. But not many others would, especially in your case, Mr. Black." Moody said, putting more emphasis than necessary on his last name.

He was smirking like he had played the best trump card. Sirius's body went rigid and his ears went red.

"Not all of my family is interested in pureblood domination. For your information, my uncle Alphie got burned off the tree for leaving me and my cousin, Andromeda, money in his will. And speaking of my dear cousin, Andromeda, she got burned off the family tree for eloping with a muggle. There are a few more white sheep in the Black family than you would expect, Mr. Moody." Sirius spat back.

His voice was tense, but he made sure to put the same kind of emphasis on Moody's name that Moody had put on his. I could tell that he was trying to keep from exploding.

"One person." Moody said, clearly unconvinced.

"The Prewett family got blasted off the tree for their blood traitor ways, right Alice?" Sirius said, looking at Alice.

She thought for a moment but nodded thoughtfully. "Molly is pregnant so she might not, but her brothers are always looking for a fight." She said, gently musing.

"And the Potters are pretty well connected with the pureblood families that don't buy into blood-mania." Sirius said, motioning to James, who nodded.

"Even if none of them join, at least they know what's really going on. Knowledge is power, and if they know the signs, they might be willing to join up later." Sirius said, his fervor growing.

He looked at Dumbledore with an eager grin. Dumbledore wore a smile that I often saw on Cloud's face after I mastered a particularly difficult piece of magic. Dumbledore looked so proud of Sirius and Sirius's grin widened when he saw Dumbledore's expression. Everyone at the table was now talking to the person next to them about family members they could write to and ask.

"Even if this does work, we can only hope to double our numbers at best." Moody said over the general babble.

"But it's better than nothing. Maybe if we double our numbers, people will see that we're serious and be more apt to join." Sirius said, sitting down with a satisfied smile.

Moody huffed and puffed but eventually deflated. He looked at Dumbledore, who was still wearing a proud smile.

"It is worth a try. So to prevent one person receiving multiple letters, come up with your list and send them to me discretely. I will contact everyone from there." Dumbledore said.

I smiled. Of course he would want to handle the contacting. Everyone knew what a great wizard Dumbledore was, and it would be hard to think that this was just a hoax if Dumbledore was the one who said it. Sirius's face lit up, so excited that his plan was being taken seriously.

For the rest of the meeting, the other members gave reports of intel they had gathered. It was a huge eye opener, to say the least. Before that night, I had thought that we had been ready to take on some Death Eaters, but now I wasn't so sure. The descriptions of what crime scenes looked like after a Death Eater attacks were shocking. Now I was glad that we were getting training. When the meeting was over, we walked back to the tower in silence. Once in the tower, though, James exploded.

"That was so wicked!" he said excitedly as soon as the door was closed.

"It was nice to finally be included in a proper Order meeting." Lily said with a happy sigh.

I sat down in one of the arm chairs and pulled one of knees up to rest my chin on.

"That was a wonderful idea, Sirius." Peter gushed adoringly.

I expected Sirius to go off on some arrogant rant about how awesome his plan, and by extension he, was. But he just shrugged.

"It was just logic. Anyone could have thought of it. I'm actually surprised that no one in the Order hadn't thought of it." Sirius half mumbled.

My eyebrows shot up; this was new.

"So I think that we should talk about this while we're still thinking about it." James said with an eager grin.

"Like make the list?" Lily asked.

"Why not? I doubt any of us are going to go to bed any time soon. Might as well. The sooner the better." James said hurriedly.

I shrugged and we all agreed. Lily pulled out a piece of parchment from her bag next to at the table. Sirius was lounging in the other arm chair, while Peter sat on the end of the couch near Sirius and Remus sat at the table with Lily. James was too excited to sit so he just paced around the room.

"So I can talk to my parents and see who they know. Dad is bound to have some Ministry contacts or something." James said.

Lily scribbled it down and looked up again.

"My parents probably won't join up, but it's worth telling them what's going on. They don't have many connections, what with their son being a werewolf and all." Remus said a little gloomily.

We all sighed collectively at his self loathing, but let it go. It wasn't the night to give Remus the self-confidence lecture. Lily looked up after writing down the names.

"It's not even worth talking to my parents. They support the Minister 150% and nothing I say that goes against him will be heard." Peter said with a sigh.

"Even after what happened with your sister?" I asked incredulously.

"What happened with your sister?" James asked.

"She just harassed a little by some Death Eaters. My parents refuse to believe that it was anything but just some jerks being bullies." Peter said quickly.

Remus and I looked at him hard, but we let it go. Once again, it wasn't the time for that talk.

"Well, my cousin Andromeda might do something. Alice is probably going to get in touch with the Prewetts. All the rest of the people I have the misfortune of knowing are either completely purity freaks or too scared of getting disowned to do anything." Sirius said without missing a beat.

He looked over at me and my heart flipped involuntarily. It was the closest he had come to directly addressing me since we broke up.

"I can talk to Cloud when I see him tomorrow. He might still be in contact with the old Quidditch team." I said softly.

I yawned widely and I turned my face so my cheek was resting on my knee.

"And obviously my family is all muggles, so no point in talking to them." Lily said with a sigh. She looked over the list with a satisfied expression.

"Well, that seems like a pretty decent list. And while everyone is sitting here, I would like to say that I think we should go to dinner tomorrow." Sirius said suddenly.

We all looked at him sharply.

"Why?" Lily asked, her voice suddenly harsh and suspicious.

"People, and by people I mean our little Death Eaters, get suspicious when we disappear for extended periods of time." Sirius said without a hint of sarcasm.

We sat for a moment and I could tell that Lily was trying to find a reason not to go to dinner. Going to dinner meant having to deal with Sirius's fan club, and none of liked having to do that. But after a minute or two, she couldn't find a flaw in his logic. We all agreed that it would probably be a good idea.

The clock struck the half hour and we silently and collectively agreed that it was time for bed. I dragged myself into bed and fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit my pillow.


	36. Revelations

**A/N: So I'm giving all of you a special treat today because I haven't been publishing (at least not on this story) for a while. TWO CHAPTERS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE! Also, I realized that this chapter is super short (like less than 1,400 words short) and there was a really huge cliffhanger at the end. So I didn't want to torture you that much. So Happy Smoke and Mirrors Day! I got you two chapters for the occasion. How about you give me two reviews to celebrate? (And yes, Smoke and Mirrors Day is a thing...a very obscure thing, but a thing none the less).**

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><p>I woke up a couple hours later like someone had screamed in my ear. I rolled over and looked at my clock. I had been asleep for about six hours. I sighed, realizing that I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep. I rolled out of bed and got dressed as quietly as I could. I went downstairs and sat in front of the fireplace. There were a few coals still glowing, but I quickly prodded the fire back to life. The sky was growing lighter outside, but the fire was casting a warm glow around the room. I curled up against the arm of the couch and I let my mind go blank.<p>

After an indeterminable amount of time, I heard someone come down the stairs. I looked and saw Sirius. He looked up and saw me and seemed surprised. We didn't speak but just stared at each other for a moment. Then he went into the kitchen. I turned back to the fire and I heard him shuffling around. I dozed again for a while.

"Do you want some?" I heard Sirius ask suddenly.

I jumped and looked back at him.

"Tea? Do you want some tea?" he asked clarifying.

I shrugged and he pulled out another cup from the cupboard. I turned back to the fire. A few moments later, Sirius came back over to the couch and handed me a cup of tea. I smiled slightly as I took it and Sirius sat down on the other end of the couch. I took a tentative sip of my tea. It was just sweet enough and just cool enough, just the way I liked it.

"Did you have another nightmare?" Sirius asked.

I looked at him pointedly, clearly saying 'what do _you_ think?' before turning back to the fire. He sighed and set his cup on the coffee table in front of us. He leaned back, stretching one arm out on the back of the couch. His fingertips came within inches of my head.

"Look, I can't stand us not talking. We were too good of friends before we ever dated for us to be like this." Sirius said, looking at me.

He sounded a little frustrated, but his face read sincere. I sighed and looked into my tea. This was true, no matter how much I hated to admit it. There were times when I missed the light banter Sirius and I used to have when we were just friends. I was silent for long enough that Sirius picked up his cup of tea again.

"Yes, I think so." I said in a very soft voice.

Sirius nearly choked on the sip of tea he had just taken. "What?" he coughed, obviously taken by surprise that I actually answered him.

"I think I did have another nightmare. I woke up very suddenly, but I can't remember what it was I dreamed about. I never can." I said.

I held my teacup in both of my hands, its warmth a pleasant sensation against my skin.

"Have you considered talking to Dumbledore? Maybe he can help." Sirius said compassionately.

I scoffed. "I don't want to be seen as a problem or a nutter." I said with an ironic chuckle.

"If it matters, you could never be a nutter to me or any of our friends." Sirius mumbled.

I almost didn't hear him, but I looked at him curiously. "It matters, but I still couldn't do it. I'll just suffer through it." I said with a sigh. I looked back at the fire.

"I know you will; you always do. Merlin knows I don't know how, but you do." Sirius said.

I could feel his gaze on the side of my face. I turned and, sure enough, he was smiling at him. I returned his smiled slightly. We sat there in silence, just drinking our tea and watching the fire. Long after we finished the tea, we still sat there. Light started leaking into the room and the fire was dying, but I couldn't bring myself to get up and ruin the easy silence between Sirius and me. It was the best things between Sirius and I had been since we broke up.

But then the clock struck ten and I sighed. I had to go meet Cloud. I stretched out my legs and then stood up. As I stood up, Sirius also stood and followed me into the kitchen. We both put our cups in the sink and we stood for a moment, just looking at each other. I studied his eyes, amazed like I always was at how much depth there was in his stormy grey eyes.

"I have to—"

"I'm sorry for—"

We both tried talking at the same time. I flushed and I saw a hint of color to his cheeks.

"You first." He said quickly.

"Not you. It sounded important." I said just as quickly.

"I just wanted to sat I'm sorry for being a git. I know it sounds sort of lame, but I thought I should say it anyway." Sirius said.

He didn't look at me and rubbed the back of his neck self-consciously. He was turning slightly redder and he was shuffling his feet. I put my hand on his hand that was resting on the edge of the sink. He looked at me, and I saw that his eyes were slightly watery.

"It's a start." I said with a kind smile.

Sirius smiled back at me and time seemed to slow down. But then someone came bounding down the stairs loudly. Sirius and I jumped apart, both of us blushing. We saw James standing there, looking happy.

"Morning. Oh good, you put the kettle on." He said with a happy sigh.

He walked to the stove where the kettle was. I looked back at Sirius and found that he was staring at me. I flushed a light pink.

"I have to go meet Cloud." I said after a moment of awkward silence.

"Yeah, you should go. Don't want to be late." Sirius said with almost a forced casual air.

I sort of half smiled and scooted out of the kitchen and out of the tower. The sun was shining through the windows. I sighed and walked quickly through the halls. Sirius's behavior both last night and this morning was confusing and I wanted to discuss it with Cloud. Plus, I needed to see if he knew how to contact any of his old friends to possibly join the Order. I reached his office and I opened the door without knocking, like I always did. He was expecting me, so there was no need. I was met with a most surprising sight.

My brother was standing in the middle of the room, very close to another man. They moved slightly and I saw that it was our old friend, Zac. They were locked in a tight embrace; Zac's hands were in Cloud's hair and Cloud's hands were on Zac's jaw line. They shifted again and I saw that they were connected at the lips, and they were kissing rather passionately. My jaw dropped and it practically snapped off with the sudden force. My eyes were the size of dinner plates as I watched my big brother and his best friend make out. They went on for an astonishingly long time; I actually was rather impressed with their fervor. But eventually they did pull apart to look into each others eyes with all of the love in the world trapped in their gaze. Cloud's eyes darted away for a moment, and he spotted me. A look of pure horror struck his face and he jumped away from Zac. Zac turned and I saw his expression go from mildly confused and concerned to the same look of horror.

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><p><strong>AN: At this point, I'm going to have to ask something that most writers do not normally do. I have to ask you, as a reader, not to review if you have a problem with this twist in the story. If you wish to comment positively about this, then I will allow it. But I must ask that anyone that wishes to discuss this further matter further contact me via Private Message. I wish this story to be a safe, positive place for everyone, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, and I hope that you will respect that.**


	37. Explanations

**A/N: Okay, so let me get this out of the way. I know I dropped a HUGE bomb on you with the ending of the last chapter. But don't hate me for a liberal standing on gay couples/gay marriage. I'm not trying to shove it down your throats. I've been planning this almost since I began to write my Songbird series. Cloud being gay should not in any way change how you feel about this series, or at least I hope it won't. I respect all opinions. I can't believe that I'm doing this, but I have to ask that, if you do have a problem with Cloud and Zac being gay, then PM me. If you do write your opinions on the subject in the reviews, I will contact you, and your review will be removed. We can have our discussion in private. Thank you, and I hope you respect me, my work, and each other.**

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><p>I composed myself and turned to shut and soundproof the door. The whole time, Cloud and Zac were frozen in embarrassed horror. When I turned back to them, I sighed.<p>

"Well, this overshadows everything I was going to talk about." I said with an amused chuckle.

"What did you need to talk about?" Cloud said after clearing his throat.

"Don't change the subject." I said, playfully scolding him.

He rolled his eyes at me. I moved over to the couch and motioned for them to join me. Both men did so, but Cloud sat in an armchair while Zac sat on the opposite side of the couch from me, nearest to Cloud.

"So how long?" I asked pleasantly.

Zac and Cloud looked at each other.

"How long have we known?" Well, I knew that I was from the time I was about six when all I wanted to do was play dress up in me mother's robes and jewelry and make up." Zac said jokingly, his Irish tone pleasant to hear after not seeing him for so long.

"I was questioning around my sixth and seventh years. I tried dating women, but I just couldn't find the same attraction to them as I subconsciously felt for men. Zac helped me realize what it was I was feeling." Cloud said, looking at Zac again.

They locked eyes and smiled fondly at each other. I couldn't help but smile at them. Now that I was over the initial shock, this was actually really adorable. They looked so happy together and, being a good sister, I was happy that he was so happy.

"But how long have you been _together_?" I asked, a little giddy.

"Well, actually, we've been together only a couple of months. Up until recently, I had been involved with someone else. When that ended, I decided to pick up correspondence with my dear friend Cloud again." Zac joked playfully.

He and Cloud were still looking at each other fondly.

"Before or after he started teaching?" I prodded.

"Shortly before." Cloud said.

His face darkened ever so slightly and Zac's carefree smile sagged and he sighed. I was confused for a moment, but then I remembered something that happened very early this school year. We were learning Occlumency in Cloud's class, and Snape turned and used Legilimency on Cloud. At the time, I couldn't figure out what Snape saw in Cloud's mind that made him so angry. But now that this cat was out of the bag, his anger made perfect sense. My face must have also darkened, because Cloud gave me a look of understanding.

"Snape has obviously been sworn to secrecy. Using Legilimency on a teacher is just as severe as attacking a teacher with a wand. After everything that you've been through with him, I'm really surprised that he hasn't been expelled." Cloud said seriously.

"Snape seems to be acquiring many secrets these days." I muttered glumly.

"What's that mean?" Zac questioned quickly.

"Let's just say that if Snape wanted to blackmail any of us, he probably could with very little effort." I said a little cryptically.

Zac looked at me to go on, but I just shook my head. Zac shrugged and sighed, and we fell into a silence.

"So what did you come to talk about?" Cloud asked after a few moments.

"Oh yeah. You know about the Order right?" I said suddenly. I couldn't believe that I almost forgot about my original purpose.

Cloud nodded by Zac looked confused.

"I'll explain more details later. Basic concept: the Order of the Phoenix is an underground group that is fighting against a clan of crazy blood supremacists. Sky and her friends are part of the movement." Cloud said quickly.

"Well, we had a meeting last night and the issues of numbers came up. Voldemort's forces—"

"Voldemort?" Zac cut across me.

"Think Hitler of the pureblood Nazi movement." Cloud said.

Zac nodded knowingly; being a muggleborn, he understood who Hitler was.

"Like I was saying, Voldemort's forces are growing every day and the Order's numbers have stalled around twenty. We need more members if we are going to have any kind of chance." I said with some fervor.

"I've told Dumbledore once. I'm not going to fight in a suicide war. I'm not joining up with Death Eaters, but I can't take sides at this point." Cloud said, getting a little irritated.

"I'm not asking you to. I know you said that you wouldn't. I'm asking you for the contact information for anyone you know that might be willing to join. And even if they don't, awareness needs to be raised. The Ministry is covering up disappearances and attacks on muggles as coincidences and anti-muggle pranking. This is getting worse, and people won't be able to remain neutral for long." I said, my irritation level rising to meet his.

Cloud sighed and played with the gold ring on his right hand. "I'm not going to put any of my friends in danger." Cloud said.

I sighed angrily and slammed my feet on the floor. "I'm not asking you to. People need to know the truth, and then they can do what they want from there." I said, raising my voice a little.

"I'm not saying you don't have honorable intentions. But I can't, in good conscious—"

"More like guilty conscious—"

"give you the names of the people that I correspond with."

"I'm not asking for everyone, just—"

"if you want to increase membership in your little club—"

"Little club? That's what you think—"

"go knocking door to door—"

"Because that'll be effective—"

"that'll be just as effective as what you're asking me to do."

"That's not what I'm doing."

"ENOUGH."

Cloud and I talked over each other, our volume slowly rising with each time we had to cut across each other. It finally ended with him shouting at me. I was about to respond, but when he shouted, my mouth snapped closed. I glared at him and he returned the look with just as much intensity.

"If this was the only thing you needed to talk to me about, then I think that our time together has come to a close for today." Cloud said coldly.

"Fine." I said.

I stood up suddenly and walked to the door. I unsealed it but then turned back to Cloud.

"One last thing. Was there any particular reason you didn't tell me sooner? And who am I allowed to tell?" I asked, my voice a little harsh.

Cloud sighed. "You obviously have enough on your plate right now. My dirty laundry wouldn't have helped you. And tell as few as people as possible." Cloud said with a forced smile. He still wasn't happy with me, but he was trying.

"So like James, Lily, and maybe Sirius?" I asked.

"Sure." Cloud said a little dismissively.

I sighed and walked out of his office.

When I reached the tower, I found that Lily and James were sitting at the table, working on something together. They were sitting really close to each other and often blushed when they looked at each other. I had to smile. I looked around the room and found that Sirius was reading on the couch, stretched over the entire length. I walked over and moved his legs so I could sit down.

"You know there are other seats right?" he asked. He would have sounded irritated, but he was smirking at me, which sort of ruined the effect.

"You're right. You should move." I said, smirking back.

"You two are talking?" Lily asked suddenly.

I looked back at her and she was staring wide eyed at Sirius and me.

"I think he's suffered for long enough. A three month silent treatment should teach him." I said, talking about him like he wasn't in the room.

He chuckled but moved so that he was sitting on his end of the couch. I stretched out so that my feet were in his lap. He sighed and looked down at my feet.

"You do remember that I know exactly where you are ticklish, right?" he asked a little exasperated.

I quickly retracted my feet and half glared at him.

"Oh come here. You used to do this all the time." Sirius said, grabbing my arm softly.

I allowed him to pull me over to him. He gently guided me until I was laying with my head resting on his thigh. He put one arm on the arm of the couch and held his book with the other.

"Better?" he asked.

I shrugged; I was able to fully stretch out now, and I always found that Sirius's thighs were rather comfortable despite being made of solid muscle. He went back to reading his book and I sighed.

"Where are Moony and Wormtail?" I asked after a moment.

"Out getting books or something for their Order training projects." James replied sort of off handedly.

"Can you guys come over here so I don't have to shout this across the room?" I asked in as casual of a tone as possible.

I heard them sigh but then I heard the chairs scraping along the floor. Lily and James walked over to where Sirius and I were sitting. Lily sat in a chair while James sat on the coffee table.

"So I went and saw Cloud just now." I started off.

"This is what you didn't want to shout?" Lily laughed.

"I'm getting there. Like I was saying, I went to see Cloud but he wasn't alone." I said, getting a little cryptic.

"Who was with him? What were they talking about?" James said, excitedly.

I couldn't tell if it was genuine or if he was mocking me. I chose to ignore it.

"You remember Zac?" I asked, returning to my casual tone.

"Keeper of the Gryffindor Quidditch team for our 5th year? Captain of the team? Overlord to our underling-ness? Yeah, sure." James said.

At that point I knew that he was joking. I smiled at James. He always loved Zac as a captain; that's where he learned how to be an evil dictator.

"Well, that's who was with Cloud. And they really weren't talking, to say the least." I said, chuckling ironically.

"What do you mean?" Sirius asked, slightly confused.

"Their mouths were a little too busy doing something else." I said, once again being a little cryptic.

Lily sighed, agitated. "Stop beating around the bush. What were they doing?" she said, her voice as agitated as her sigh.

I smirked again. Lily always hated when we talked in circles.

"They were too busy making out to say anything." I said slowly and clearly.

There was silence for a moment before Lily gasped, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Are you saying…" she started, trailing off.

I nodded slowly. She gasped again and started chuckling.

"Wait? Are you saying that they were having some kind of foursome in his office?" James said, lowering his voice to an intense whisper.

I shook my head.

"It was just the two of them?" he said.

I nodded.

"Making out?" James said.

Well, he didn't really say it; he more or less mouthed it because his voice went into the range that only dogs could hear. Lily was giggling like a little school girl and James was still trying to put the pieces together. Sirius was looking down at me, clearly confused.

"Do I have to spell it for you, Pads? Cloud, my brother, and Zac, his best friend, were _making out_ in his office." I said, very slowly, pausing to make sure that he got it.

"Somehow, I knew it. I knew something was different, but I couldn't put my finger on it. But now it makes sense." Lily said, still giggling.

"What do you mean, you knew it? There were no indications for this. Cloud is one of the most manly people I know. He knows how to sword fight, for Merlin's sake! And Zac has always been such a bad ass. There's no way. You have to be mistaken." James said, getting a little heated.

Now it was my turn to giggle. I didn't realize that this revelation would change James's world view so radically.

"No, I'm not mistaken. And you'd be surprised to learn that "bad ass" you like so much actually knew he was gay since he was about six. Not all gay people are effeminate and talk with a lisp." I said, still laughing a little.

James stood up and pushed his bangs away from his forehead. He walked over to the mantle and stood there leaning against it with one hand, messing up his hair with the other.

"I just can't believe it." James said.

He looked flabbergasted at the fire. I turned and looked at Sirius. He still looked like he was trying to process it.

"Knut for your thoughts, Padfoot?" I asked hesitantly.

"I'm just trying to think if there were any signs over the years." Sirius said softly.

"Trust me; there haven't been. I would have been the first to pick them up and I was just as surprised to learn this." I said, my chuckles turning ironic now.

"Well, there was the fact that he really never dated. I mean there was the one girl in his fifth year, but other than that, he was pretty much single. And the fact that he always seemed happier with his guy friends than with any girls that he hung out with, excluding you, Sky. But you don't really count, considering that you're his sister." Lily said, listing this off as if it was just matter-of-fact and obvious.

"That is true. And now that I think about it, there was that incident with Snape in Defense earlier this year. I almost forgot about it, what with everything that's been going on. Snape probably saw some rather compromising memories of Cloud's when he turned and used Legilimency on Cloud." Sirius said, remembering the same thing I did.

"Cloud said that he's been sworn to secrecy, probably under pain of expulsion." I said, my voice getting a little darker.

"Then why would he go and start those rumors?" Sirius said, almost to himself.

I sat up and looked at him, slightly confused. And then I remembered: the rumors that Snape started at the Slug Club Christmas Party were about me and Cloud allegedly sleeping together. Everyone sort of looked at him and thought about it. But then I had a thought that made a lot of sense.

"Isn't it obvious?" I said softly.

Sirius looked down at me questioningly.

"To make you do something irrational. He knows how easy it is to piss you off, especially when it came to me. He was probably trying to call you out and make you do something to him that could get you expelled. It sort of misfired, of course." I explained, a little matter-of-factly.

"When it comes to you." Sirius said softly.

I looked at him, confused.

"Hey James. Are you hungry?" Lily asked suddenly.

We all looked at her and she was giving James a look.

"Yeah, sure. Let's go get some food." James said quickly.

He and Lily jumped up and headed out the door.

"But we're going to dinner soon." I called after them.

It was useless because they had already left.


	38. Game Changer

**A/N: So I know this one is really short, but don't kill. Also, I hope that this chapter clears up a lot of things for everyone. **

**Also, I'm beginning to wonder whether this story is worth continuing. I had two more sequels planned in my head, but I'm not really getting the readership that I wanted. I will finished this part, so you don't have to worry about that. But I'm just beginning to doubt whether the work I'm putting in is worth the response I'm getting out. Let me know how you feel in reviews. If there's enough support, we'll see what happens.**

**But enough talk, onto the story!**

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><p>I sat up and sighed. "What did you mean?" I said, turning back to Sirius.<p>

"It's very easy to piss me off when it comes to you, present tense. You said it like my feelings for you have changed. They haven't." Sirius said very seriously.

I sighed and walked into the kitchen.

"Please don't evade me like this. I hate it when you do that." Sirius said, agitated. He stood up and followed me.

"Maybe I'm not ready to have this conversation. We just started talking again this morning." I said, my calm a little forced.

We were standing on either sides of the breakfast bar. He was leaning across it and I was just leaning on it.

"But we need to talk, Songbird. I have to know what you want me to do to show you that I'm worthy." Sirius said.

I looked at him sharply. As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he looked startled by them, as if he hadn't meant to say that.

"I never said that you weren't worthy. I said that you need to grow up." I said, starting to get exasperated.

Leave it to Sirius to blow everything out of proportion to turn himself into the victim of the situation.

"I'm trying. I feel like I already have. I used love my unofficial fan club. Now they just piss me off. They're all so shallow; none of them know me like you do, Songbird." Sirius said.

I rolled my eyes. Usually those cheesy lines used to make me smile and melt. Now they just felt forced.

"If they annoy you so much, why don't you tell them to take a hike?" I said, trying to remain calm.

Sirius sighed, but didn't answer.

"I'm going up to take a shower." I said, walking around the breakfast bar.

As I was passing Sirius, he grabbed my arm. I turned and looked at him, my eyes a little hard.

"If it matters, I get it now. I get why me doing what I did to Snape was such a big thing. I was putting people's lives at stake, and it looked like I didn't care about what they wanted or were feeling. I think, to you, it showed how easily I could just toss someone aside. I would never do that to you. I feel like anything ever happened to you, if I were to lose you…" Sirius's voice broke.

The whole time he was talking, he was looking at me dead in the eye, and I could see the tears forming in them. When he looked away, a single tear ran down his face. It took everything I had not to gather him up in my arms and kiss away the tears and the hurt. But I needed to see that he truly had changed, not just a promise that he would. Sirius took a deep breath and let me go. My skin felt a little colder where he had just been touching me.

"It matters. But I need to see it, not just hear it." I said softly.

Sirius nodded. "I know. And you will. I promise you that. I won't stop until you are satisfied." He said.

I smiled slightly and turned and continued up to my room. I went into the bathroom and closed and locked the door behind me. I sat down on the toilet and held my head in my hands. I scolded myself for allowing those feelings to come back. I needed him to learn his lesson. And I needed him to learn it for his own good, not because he wanted me to come back. I shook my head and went and stood in front of the mirror over the sink. I was ready to give myself a real talking to, but then I spotted something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

Sitting on the counter of the bathroom was a box of pads that Lily used. I stared at the box, trying to do the math in my head. I was trying to remember, but I couldn't, for the life of me, remember when my last period was. Then suddenly, I remembered. I nearly fell backwards as the realization dawned on me. I sat down on the toilet unable to believe what I was thinking.

"LILY!" I shouted at the top of my voice.

I knew she was back by now. I went out into my room as I heard a few pairs of feet thundering up the stairs. Within seconds, James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius came bursting through my door. All of them had their wands drawn.

"It's not like that. But you, you, and you, leave." I said, pointing to James, Sirius, and Remus.

My voice had taken on a rational, no-bullshit tone and they looked at me confused. When they didn't move, I literally grabbed them by their shirts and threw them bodily from the room. Despite their protests, I slammed the door, sealed it, and sound proofed it.

"What is going on?" Lily asked after a moment.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me.

"Please just tell me what's going on." She begged.

I grabbed her box of pads and held them up.

"Are you on your period?" I asked, still trying to figure out a way to ease into this.

"Yeah. I started a couple days ago. I forgot to put the box away. Is that what this is about?" Lily said, violently confused.

I sighed and lowered the box. I held it in both of my hands at about waist height.

"Well, I'm not, and I should be by now." I said softly.

Lily started violently. "How late are you?" Lily said, lowering her voice.

I figured that she realized that I hadn't gone off the deep end, so she was calming back down. If what I was thinking was actually true, she wouldn't be for long.

"Almost three months." I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

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><p><strong>AN: Okay, now don't kill me! I know I'm leaving this off at a weird spot, and this is a really short chapter and I just dropped another huge bomb on you. Express your outrage in reviews, if you have any.**


	39. Coping Methods

**A/N: So I realize that I left off at a really bad spot last time. Sorry, but hey, I'm the author and I have that right (and will use it as often as I deem necessary). But, to make up for it, I'm giving you guys two chapters today! They're both sort of short, so it's really like you're getting one long chapter. But anyway, I have to insert a shameless plug here. If you like Lord of the Rings fan-fiction, and you like Eomer, I have another story that I'm working on called "Even This Darkness Must Pass". So, if you're looking for something new to read, and you like my writing style, there's that. SHAMELESS PLUG OVER! On with the story!**

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><p>"Oh dear God." Lily said almost as soon as the words were out of my mouth.<p>

She stumbled back and put a hand on her forehead. She kept opening and closing her mouth, as if she were trying to form words. The boys would have had a field day with this; Lily was completely and absolutely speechless.

"Well, a lot of things can affect that. Stress is a big one. We've been really stressed out lately. And you're really skinny so sometimes thin girls don't get theirs as regularly as other girls." Lily said, moving to her favorite coping strategy: rationalization, and denying the truth.

"I can think of another really big one." I said a little sarcastically.

"But we don't know that." Lily said, sort of talking over the end of my sentence.

"Lils, you've been just as stressed out as I have been. And we're the same size. I can only think of one logical explanation." I said, sitting down on the toilet again.

"But you are still—"

She stopped dead as I shook my head.

"What do you mean? You were supposed to tell me when you lost your virginity. We promised that we would." Lily said, her voice showing that she was a little offended.

"Sorry if it slipped my mind. I was too busy dealing with Sirius's gaping hand wound and then he tried to kill Snape the next night." I said, still a little sarcastic.

Needless to say, sarcasm was my favorite coping strategy.

"So you lost it to Sirius?" Lily said, still rationally trying to figure this out.

"Yeah. Night of the Slug Club party." I deadpanned.

Lily swallowed hard and walked the few steps that the space of the room allowed. I looked back down at the box. I slowly moved my hand to my midsection. It was as slim as ever, because thankfully I didn't gain any padding as a result of lack of physical training. But something felt different under my hand. There weren't any bumps or anything, but it just felt different.

"If you're sure this could be a possibility, then there's got to be something we can do to find out." Lily said.

She opened the door to the bathroom, and I could now hear that the boys were pounding on the door. I couldn't hear what they were shouting, but I could have bet that they were either on the begging or threatening stage of the negotiation. Lily, however, could be heard rummaging around in her trunk for something. I stood up and saw that she was carelessly tossing things from her trunk. She had magically extended it in order to fit all of the books she owned in it. She hated to travel without an extensive library everywhere she went. I could tell she finally found what she was looking for when she erupted in a triumphant yell. She sat down on the floor and I saw that she had a copy of one of her favorite potions books in her lap: "Everyday Potions for Everyday Uses". She was flipping through the table of contents, and she found what she was looking for relatively quickly. I sat down on my bed and watched her, knowing better than to interrupt.

"Well, I found a potion that can test for preg—"

I shushed her before the word was all the way out. I was thinking it, but I didn't want to say it quite yet.

"Well, I found a potion to test for it, and it should be relatively quick to brew. It has to mature for about twenty four hours before we can use it. I'm a little unsure because it's only eighty percent reliable. But if a couple tests are inconclusive, we can always go to Madame Pomfrey." Lily said.

I smiled at my best friend. It was nice to have someone that was really rational in my life at a time when I was feeling a little less than rational.

"Also, there's a potion in here to get rid of it, if that's what you decide. It's going to take a little bit longer to brew, but if I started it at the same time as the test potion, it should be done in about a week." Lily said, looking at me seriously.

I looked at her, very confused. What did she mean, get rid of it?

"If you want to not have it." Lily said, trying to clarify.

I looked at her a moment longer before the realization came over me. She was trying to suggest that I terminate. A look of horror and anger spread across my face. I wrapped my arms around my mid-section and stared at Lily.

"Why would I want to end a perfectly innocent life?" I said, my voice a horrified whisper.

Lily's face flushed bright red as she realized what she was saying upset me so much. "If that's how you feel, then by all means, keep it. I'd be more than happy to see you carry one." Lily said, trying to backpedal again.

I sighed and relaxed a little. I was glad that she wasn't trying to force me into that.

"How are you going to tell Sirius?" she said after a moment.

I bit my lip and sort of sighed. "I don't even know if I am or not. I'll just cross that bridge when I get to it." I said after a moment.

Lily sighed and nodded, but I could tell that she wasn't very thrilled with that. But I could also tell that she realized that this was my decision to make, and she couldn't make me do something I didn't want to do.

"I'll get the potions stuff tonight after dinner." Lily said with a supportive smile.

I smiled back and we stood up.

"Whatever happens, I'll support you. I'm pretty sure all of us will." Lily said, putting her hands on my shoulders.

I smiled at her. "I know you will. That's why I keep you guys." I said with a little laugh.

She laughed a little and pulled me in for a hug. I hugged her back and sighed. It was so nice to have friends that loved me so much.

"And if you are, dibs on godmother." Lily joked into my hair.

I laughed and pulled away. "Who else would I name?" I joked back.

"I don't know, but I just want to be the first one on the list." Lily said with a laugh.

We both looked at the door, seeing that it was shaking slightly on its hinges.

"So glad we reinforced that." Lily muttered.

"Indeed." I said in the same tone.

We smiled at each other and then went to the door. We opened it and found that the outside was blackened for spells being shot at it and Remus, Sirius, and James were standing a few feet away with their wands drawn.

"What's the problem? You looked really upset when you called us up." James said, sounding really concerned.

"No, I called for Lily. The rest of you just came bounding up the stairs. I found something and I wanted to see if you knew what it was. That's what took so long. Lily had to find a book that could identify it." I said, coming up with a quick lie.

James, Remus and Sirius looked suspicious.

"What was it?" Remus asked hesitantly.

"That's the thing. We couldn't figure it out. So we just destroyed it." Lily said, playing along with my story like a pro.

James and Sirius looked disappointed. "Why didn't you let us see? Maybe we could have helped." James said, sounding as disappointed as he looked.

"Trust us; you didn't want to see this thing. I don't even want to talk about it anymore, or I might lose what little appetite I have." I said, sounding as thoroughly disgusted as I could.

"And speaking of appetite, we should probably head down to dinner." Lily said, motioning down the stairs.

James and Sirius nodded and walked down the stairs quickly. Remus, however, stayed behind and looked at us suspiciously.

"There wasn't anything was there?" he asked in a low murmur.

I looked at Lily, and she shrugged. It was clear that it was up to me whether or not to tell him.

"Nothing like James and Sirius think. But when we know something, you'll know something." I said.

I decided that was vague enough to avoid any sticky questions, but reassuring enough to get him off our backs. Remus gave us one last suspicious look, and then walked down the stairs. I let out a puff of air I didn't realize that I was holding and looked at Lily. She sighed and shrugged again.


	40. Attack of the Fan Girls

**A/N: I wrote this chapter, I think, in January (or at least that's when my computer is telling me that was the last time I accessed the document), well before all of the reviews you guys gave me telling me how you really felt about Sirius. I didn't realize how much hate you guys had for Sirius's little fan club. Well, this chapter is for all of you that don't feel bad for Sirius. Hopefully this chapter will change your mind. Enjoy.**

* * *

><p>Lily and I walked down the stairs and saw that the boys were waiting for us. Together, we all walked down to the Great Hall to find that dinner was just getting started. We walked to a relatively empty section of the Gryffindor table and sat down. Within seconds of settling down, Sirius's fan club descended upon us. They pushed aside Peter and Remus, who were sitting on either side of Sirius in order to be as close as possible to him. There were only two this time instead of the usually four or five, which was nice.<p>

"Hi, Siri. We haven't seen you in a while." One said in a voice that was too high pitched to be natural. She was twirling a lock of her blond hair around her finger and batting her big, ocean blue eyes at him.

"Yeah, Siri. We've missed you." The other said.

She was practically leaning over Sirius's plate (where his eyes were focused) in order to be in his line of sight. She was flipping her chocolate brown hair back and forth over her shoulders and rubbing a manicured hand up and down his arm. I rolled my eyes and dished out some food for me.

The adoration that these girls had for him were sickening and yet slightly amusing. I wanted to think that they knew how foolish they were as they threw themselves at him, but I highly doubted that they did. Another girl swooped down out of nowhere, squeezing herself between Lily and James so that she could be directly across from Sirius. She was a relatively pretty Asian girl, and thin as a rail. All of the girls were pretty, so to speak, but they ruined their beauty with thick layers of makeup and slutty clothes.

"Siri?" James chuckled, clearly trying to make light of a terrible situation.

Sirius gave him a look that clearly showed that he didn't like the nickname, and that James should drop it. James chuckled as he started eating.

"So, Siri, I've been so bored without you. I try to find you in the tower so I won't be bored anymore." The blond said, rubbing the top of Sirius's hand with her fingertip. She was clearly trying to be sexy, but she was failing epically.

"That's nice. I try to keep myself busy and stay out of the tower as much as possible." Sirius said shortly.

He was trying to ignore them, but that just made them want to pay attention to him more.

"What do you do?" The Asian said with an air of forced interest.

"I like to take walks." Sirius said, once again very short.

I was trying to eat while these girls were practically shoving their breast in his face, but it was growing more difficult as their "flirting" got more obnoxious.

"We could take a walk in the Forbidden Forest alone together." The brunette said.

She was rubbing his back and chest as well as his arm now. I felt my anger grow as I saw her actions. My face was hot and my ears felt like they were burning. She did realize that what she was saying made no sense, right? These girls had to be kidding.

"It's forbidden for a reason. It's very dangerous." Sirius said.

He, too, was trying to eat, but they kept vying for his attention, making it difficult.

"I'm sure a big, strong man like you could protect us." The blond giggled.

She grabbed the hand that he was trying to eat with and made him look at her. He sighed and closed his eyes. I could see the blood rushing to his ears, making them turn red.

"I'm sure we could find something to do right now, if you want to." The Asian said.

"Yeah, us four could do something. Maybe you could give us a few pointers on something." The brunette said vaguely.

All of us had stopped eating to look at Sirius. If that wasn't the most blatant invitation into their pants in all history, then I was a duck. Sirius opened his eyes, and I could see a fire in them. But it wasn't a lustful fire, like the three girls thought it was. He was pissed. He was as pissed as I had probably ever seen him in normal situations. Like, he was only more pissed when he was dealing with his family or possibly Moody. I smirked, excited to see what was going to happen. It was going to be quite the show.

"Ladies, I really appreciate all the attention you've been giving me. Any guy could only hope that three beautiful women like you would be so kind and attentive." Sirius said, shrugging off their hands.

His voice was forced to be calm, and anyone that knew Sirius well could tell that he was just being nice because he didn't want to hurt their feelings. But these girls were acting like he had just given them the most sincere compliment of all time. They blushed and clucked at him that he was "too kind". But then Sirius went stone serious and looked at all of them.

"But I'm going to have to ask you to stop. While it's nice to be adored, what you're doing is ridiculous. I need my time and my space, and I can't have that while all of you are on top of my all the time." He said.

Their expressions shifted to confused.

"What are you saying, Siri?" the brunette said, her voice a little tearful.

"I'm saying that it's time that you found someone else to fawn over. And please stop calling me Siri. It's insulting to my intelligence." Sirius said, a little harsher this time.

The blond's lower lip started quivering and the Asian actually had tears running down her face.

"Is there someone else?" the Asian asked.

"No. I just want some time to live my own life, and I can't do that when women are hanging on me. So please tell everyone in my little fan club, yes I know about that, that I want everyone to back off. Sirius Black is officially off limits." Sirius said, stopping them from interrupting him several time.

By this point, they were all crying. They looked to Peter, but quickly moved to James, put his hands up, to Remus, who shook his head.

"What are you saying, Siri? You mean you don't love us?" the blond said, her voice high pitched and thick with emotion.

Sirius closed his eyes, and I felt my smile widening. It was like watching a bomb explode in slow motion. I could see him trying to count to ten, trying to calm down. He had never hit a woman in his life (his mother was the exception, and that had only been in self-defense to save his own life), but I could tell that these bimbos were pushing him over the edge.

"You said you loved me, Siri. You did, that night in the broom cupboard." the Asian said harshly.

Sirius's eyes snapped open. I was grinning ear to ear. She had pushed the wrong button. The only thing he hated more than disrespect was being called a liar. He never told anyone that he loved them unless he meant it, and that counted for all of his partners.

"What I'm saying is that you need to find yourself another man to open your legs for. What I'm saying that I never told any of you that I loved you. You never meant anything more than a good time to me. You want me to tell you how I feel? Well, here it is. I'm through with all of you. I do not want anyone ever throwing themselves at me like you have again. Pass this on to every single, god damn member of this ridiculous little club: You need to grow up, and learn that there is more to life than sex. I sure as hell have." Sirius said, his voice barely above a whisper.

I loved seeing Sirius like this. He was passionately angry, but his anger was always quiet until you really REALLY got under his skin. He was almost terrifying, and it was exciting. It happened very rarely, because Sirius was almost always in complete control of his emotions. But I was glad to see that he was kicking his fan club to the curb. He deserved better.

Then suddenly, they all burst into tears and ran away from our little group. We all let out a collective sigh of relief and tightened our ranks again. After a second, we all burst into laughter in unison.

"Thank you so much. If I had to deal with that for one more day, I would have strangled them with their own hair extensions." Lily said, still laughing.

We all looked at Lily; this was the first nice thing she had said to Sirius since he and I broke up. It caused us all to burst into laughter again. Then from behind me, a set of arms wrapped around my waist, causing me to stiffen. But then I smelled Liam's signature cologne and I relaxed.

"Hey, sweetie." He said in my ear.

I smiled a little and I turned to face him. "Hey." I said back.

"Come sit with my friends. That is, unless you're busy." Liam said, catching himself and looking to my friends.

I looked and saw that they were all in various stages of smile saggage. Sirius's smile had slid completely off his face, and had been replaced with a dark look and a glare that he was directing at his plate.

"Do you guys mind?" I asked, a little breathless.

Everyone but Sirius shook their heads and I smiled at them. I got up and went with Liam over to the Ravenclaw table.


	41. Dinner with the Ravenclaws

I was always very nervous about sitting with the Ravenclaws. Their table was right next to the Slytherins and I hated being that close to Regulus and Snape unless I had to be. Usually when I sat with Liam's friends, I sat so I could see them at all times. If I had to be that close, I wanted to know that I could see them coming. But that time, Liam sat us down in the only two available seats in their group. They happen to be facing away from the Slytherin table, which meant my back was to my enemies. After what they did to my back, I knew better than to face away from them.

Sitting with some of the smartest people in the castle didn't help me either. I mean, I was talented, but there was difference between being smart and being talented. Smart meant you worked hard to learn what you knew; talented meant that you were just able to pick things up easy. It didn't take real skill to be talented.

Liam's group of friends consisted of four other guys, and one girl (a similarity to my own group that I really couldn't ignore). But that's where the similarities stopped. The guys, Blake, Deryk, Marshall, and Reid, were about as different from James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter as one could get. These were guys who followed the rules to the letter, never really strayed out of the box, and abhorred any kind of any activities that broke the status quo.

They were relatively popular in their own house because they were objectively attractive. Blake was tall and had dark hair that fell moodily into his bright blue eyes. Deryk had dirty blond hair that buzzed relatively short. He had dark eyes, but they weren't flat like they could have been. He had spirit, and it showed in his eyes. Marshall was sort of on the shorter side, being not much taller than myself, but was built stocky. He was one of the Ravenclaw beaters, and looked it. He was sort of quiet, at least around me, but I had almost been on the receiving end of his bluggers too many times to know that he had a mean streak when he wanted to. Reid was all smiles, all the time. It was a good thing that he had perfectly straight, white teeth. He was constantly cracking jokes, but not in the way that my friends did. He would try to tell long, complicated stories that had only a mildly funny punch line. Well, at least they were only mildly funny to me. To everyone else, his humor was top notch. At first I had tried to be witty, but these people found my humor to be too abrasive and didn't really laugh much beyond polite chuckles.

The girl in the group, Morgan, was Reid's girlfriend. I was pretty sure that she thought I was trying to steal Reid away from her, even though I was clearly with Liam. I thought this because it was the only way I could rationalize her behavior. From the moment I started hanging out with Liam and his friends, she was overly aggressive and was constantly hanging on Reid. He didn't seem to mind, but frankly, he was a guy so this didn't surprise me. I tried to show her that I wasn't trying to offend her, but it only served to make her hate me more.

When Liam and I sat down, the others were laughing. I guessed that Reid had just finished telling a joke. However, they stopped laughing pretty quickly after they realized that I was with Liam. I put on my best smile, trying to ignore the hostility they were giving off.

"Hey Liam. Sky," They all greeted us.

I greeted them as pleasantly as I could. Liam put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him.

"So I just noticed that there was a little scene by you and your friends," Deryk said a little slyly.

I laughed lightly and acknowledged that there was.

"You guys always cause scenes wherever you go," Morgan said.

It could have been a joking statement, if it wasn't laced to saturation with venom. I chose to ignore the venom and laugh.

"It keeps life exciting," I said with a smile.

Morgan gave me a nasty smile.

"What happened? Did Sirius start making out with someone and the other girls got mad?" Reid joked.

The others laughed like it was the funniest thing they ever heard. See what I mean? And they said that my humor was terrible. I tried to laugh with them, but it was hard to laugh when they were talking about a guy that had been my best friend.

"No, actually he refused to make out with any of them. And they were making it quite obvious that's what they wanted. He tried to let them down easy, but you know how girls are," I said, trying to continue with the joking.

Needless to say, the chuckles died relatively quickly.

"Well, that was a very gentlemanly thing to do," Liam said sincerely.

I looked at him and smiled. He always tried to make me feel welcome, and I could tell that he saw that I was floundering.

"Sirius Black? Refused three sluts that were throwing themselves at him? I can't believe that. I mean, he's infamous for sleeping around with anything in a skirt," Morgan said, still on the nasty side.

"Well, he was actually really nice to the girls he dated. He never cheated or anything; he just moved on when he found something new. Only dating for a week or so and then breaking up is better than cheating," I said, feeling a little defensive for Sirius.

"Says that girl that dated him for two years. How do you know that he didn't cheat on you?" Morgan spat back.

I was taken aback by her extra hostility.

"Morgan, that's rude," Blake said.

I could tell that he was only saying that out of social obligation. All of them had a strange fascination with my relationship with Sirius, even though they would never admit it out loud. He seemed to find his way into many conversations I had with them.

"Because he loved me. I know he never did because he loved me," I said softly.

I wasn't going to let this girl who didn't know an oboe from and elbow get the better of me.

"Then why did you break up?" Morgan pushed.

"Seriously, Morgan. That's enough," Liam said.

But even his attempt to stop her sounded weak. He had asked me the same question plenty of times, but I always gave him the same answer I gave everyone else.

"I know why, and he knows why. We are the only two who need to know," I said calmly.

I looked over her shoulder to see that Sirius had moved to sit where I had been sitting at the Gryffindor table, which meant he could look at us now. I could see that his stormy eyes were trained on me and I flushed. I looked down quickly.

"You keep saying that, but it doesn't answer anything. Are you telling people that you're broken up so you both can see other people?" she spat, looking now to Liam.

"That's absolutely—"

"Because I heard a rumor that you and your brother are a little closer than two siblings should be," she said.

I felt my whole face heat up and I clenched my jaw. I narrowed my eyes and glared at her. I could see red on the edges of my vision. I was trying to calm down, so I wouldn't cause a scene.

"Really? Who said that?" Reid said, completely ignoring me.

"I've heard it around. But it makes sense, when you think about it," Morgan went on.

Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard in my ears. I could tell that Liam felt my body stiffen. He was looking at me concerned. I glanced around to see who else was listening to the conversation. I glanced behind me and saw that Regulas and Snape were sitting right behind me. They noticed that I saw them and Regulas grinned a grin that made my stomach turn over. I wrapped my arms around my middle. Morgan, Reid, Deryk, and Blake were talking about my alleged relationship with my brother and the more I listened, the angrier I felt. Liam was trying to get them to stop, but they plowed on, like we weren't even there.

Then suddenly, a piece of parchment floated down in front of me. I quickly opened it. I recognized the handwriting almost immediately. Sirius and Regulus had very similar writing styles, but the flourishes on Regulus's gave him away. I knew it because he had sent me many a harassing note over the years. It was written in the founder's language and said: _Watch your back, princess_.

I turned around and saw that Regulas was giving me one of the sickest smiles that I could have ever imagined. He made a vulgar gesture of a sexual nature to me, and I turned back around. I felt like I was going to burst into tears. I couldn't escape Morgan, who was talking so loudly about my alleged incestuous relationship with my gay brother (well, I knew that he was; they didn't); Regulas, was threatening me once again; and Liam, who was trying to be concerned but was ultimately failing at it. I put my head in my hands, and tried to block out what was going on around me.

Then suddenly, everyone stopped talking. I looked up and saw that Sirius was standing over me.

"Excuse me, but I think Sky needs to go," Sirius said as kindly as he could.

To anyone that didn't know Sirius, his smile was all charm and politeness. But I could tell that he was just on this side of calm, and he was close to snapping. The sparks were snapping in his deep grey eyes.

"Haven't you done enough harm, shoving your little harem down everyone's throats all the time? I think she's better off away from your disgraceful habits," Morgan snapped.

Well, it was good to know that it wasn't just me she hated. Sirius was letting it roll off his back; he was used to taking abuse from ignorant bitches.

"I don't even know why you were put into Gryffindor. You're not brave or chivalrous. You are a cheating bastard that plays with women's hearts like they're fancy toys at your disposal. You are a disgrace to your sex, and should be ashamed of yourself," Morgan went on.

I could tell that her friends were shocked, but I was watching Sirius. Those were some of the same words that I knew were shouted at him by his parents when they were degrading and beating him. Sirius's expression never changed, but his ears were steadily turning redder by the second. He never had hit a woman in his life, not even when that woman deserved it.

"You disgust me, Sirius Black. You don't deserve anything you have. You abomination, you absolute waste of—"

A loud crack echoed through the room. I realized that the whole of the student body was watching what was going on. I also realized that I was on my feet, glaring at Morgan. I also realized that she was holding her face where a large, red hand print was emblazoned on her fair skin.

"If I even hear a rumor that you say one thing about me, my brother, or Sirius again, and a slap mark will be the least of your worries," I said in a low and dangerous voice.

Morgan was so shocked that she just nodded in response. I turned behind me to where Regulas and Snape were smirking at me. I had the note he sent me clutched in the hand that hadn't slapped Morgan. I held up the fist and the crumpled sheet of paper.

"If you ever send me another note like this, any wish to be producing any inbred heirs will disappear. As well as the equipment necessary for such actions," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

Regulas's face drained of color, which only affirmed that, despite all of his talk, he knew that I could carry out my threats without the backup of a party of six or more. I lowered my fist and turned to the room at large.

"If anyone has anything to say to me or about me or my friends or family, take it up with me and my wand. If you aren't willing to deal with the consequences, keep your traps shut," I shouted, pulling out my wand.

It shot out red sparks, further emphasizing my point. I glared around the room. My eyes came to rest last on Dumbledore, who was watching the scene with a serious face. But even from practically across the room, I could tell that he had a twinkle in his eyes.

I turned on my heel back to Sirius, who was smirking. I walked past him and over to the rest of my friends that were waiting in the doorway. Sirius trailed me and we quickly vacated the Great Hall.

"Well, you're all silent now, so…" I heard Dumbledore begin as we rounded the corner away from the room.

"Should we go back to hear what announcement he was going to make?" Lily asked concerned.

"Lilyflower, if we go back in, that would undermine the point Songbird made by storming out. That would be rude and inconsiderate," James said in a relatively patronizing tone.


	42. Letters

Sirius trailed me and we quickly vacated the Great Hall.

"Well, you're all silent now, so…" I heard Dumbledore begin as we rounded the corner away from the room.

"Should we go back to hear what announcement he was going to make?" Lily asked concerned.

"Lilyflower, if we go back in, that would undermine Songbird's wonderful storming out. That would be rude and inconsiderate." James said in a relatively patronizing tone.

James's use of Lily's old pet name immediately broke the tension and we all laughed.

"So what even happened? We only really caught words like "abomination" and "disgust me" and "cheating bastard" from where we sat." Remus said curiously.

We were quickly walking up to the tower. I was still too heated to talk so Sirius explained the latter half of the argument.

"The reason I slapped that bitch is because she used the same words Sirius's mother used when she used to yell at him. "Waste of space" was the one that made me snap. The only person that's a waste of space was her." I said after Sirius finished talking.

"But what happened with Regulas?" Sirius asked.

"He sent me a note and made a really disgusting gesture. I'm sick of him harassing me like that. I have put my foot down to say that this isn't okay anymore." I said.

We had reached the tower by now and we threw ourselves onto furniture. I flopped backwards onto the couch, leaving my legs to dangle over the arm.

"Well, good for you. It's about time you told that scumbag what's what." Lily said with a satisfied sigh.

Then suddenly, we heard something hitting the closed window. Sirius went over and opened it, and an owl flew into the room and landed on my kneecaps. I reached up and removed the parchment from its leg. It flew out of the window and Sirius closed it again.

"Did you recognize that owl?" James asked suspiciously.

"Vaguely, but I can't remember from where." I said, looking at the roll of parchment.

I opened it in the tense air. As soon as I saw the handwriting, I relaxed.

"I know why I recognize the owl. Cloud used to get letters all the delivered by that owl. It's from Zac." I said with a smile.

Everyone in the room also relaxed as they realized that this wasn't going to kill me.

"What did he say?" Sirius asked.

_Dear Sky,_

_Cloud told me about what exactly is going on with Voldemort and the Order. He also told me that if I even thought about joining, he would preemptively kill me before a Death Eater could. I would never want to cause so much pain to someone that I love, so I won't be joining the cause. However, know that I support it. And, unlike your dear brother, I understand what you are trying to do, and I realize how important it is. And, unlike your brother, I'm actually the one still in contact with the old Quidditch team. I believe that he was just too embarrassed to tell you that I was the only one from the old days he still talked to. I've included the list of their last known locations, so it should be easy to find them. Good luck, and thank you for being so supportive of us. It means so much._

_With all my love,_

_Zac_

_P.S.- We should get the band back together sometime and jam. It would be fun, and your brother always looked so sexy when he played guitar. _

I read the parts of the letter that I could out loud. I left out or changed the parts of the letter that talked about Zac and Cloud's relationship, because Remus and Peter were listening. Like promised, a list of contact information for the other people on the Quidditch team/old band were listed at the bottom of the page.

"Songbird, that's great! We should send that to Dumbledore right away." Lily said excitedly.

"Why send it to him when he lives right down the hall?" I asked.

I sat up and was about to walk the list down to him, but then there was another pecking at the window. Sirius opened it and another owl flew in. The owl landed on the back of the couch, stuck its leg out. I recognized this owl as Dumbledore's sleek, majestic black owl. I took the parchment off the owl's leg but I made it stay. I opened the letter and read it aloud to everyone.

_Because you all left early from dinner tonight, you missed a very important announcement. There is going to be an April Fool's Day masquerade ball. It is going to be formal attire and will begin at eight o'clock on the evening of April first. Masks will be required and there will be a great unmasking at midnight. I was going to wait until your next Order training, but those will now be replaced by regular attendance at the meetings. I will be contacting you soon with the time and place when we will meet to travel together. Until then, your trainings are complete. Congratulations._

_Sincerely,_

_Albus P.W.B. Dumbledore_

I read the letter out loud and James whooped happily. We all chuckled at his jubilation, but Lily calmed him down.

"We're not going on missions yet." She said chuckling.

"But now we don't have to do those ridiculous trainings anymore." James practically shouted.

I rolled up the list that Zac had sent me and attached it to the owl's leg. I carried him back over to the window and let him fly.

"I wonder how this will affect our school schedules. Our sleeping has just gotten semi-normal again." I mused gently.

Lily gave me a hard pointed look.

"Okay, YOUR sleeping schedules are semi-nomral." I said with an agitated sigh and a roll of my eyes.

"He probably won't change it. We've already passed Cloud's curriculum and all of our other classes are being taken care of." Remus said a little casually.

I nodded toward him thoughtfully. No one was saying it, but I could tell they were thinking it; if our schedules went back to normal, we would have almost all of our lessons with the Slytherins. Dumbledore wouldn't put us, namely me, in any undue harm. And putting back into lessons with Slytherins would definitely cause undue harm. We all sort of lapsed into silence.

"So this ball is pretty interesting. Usually teachers would have our noses buried in the grindstone around that time." Lily said thoughtfully.

"Maybe that's why he wants to have a ball. It'll allow everyone to let off some steam." Remus replied in a serious tone.

"It'll be a great venue for a prank. Everyone will be there to witness it." Sirius said with a devilish grin.

I sighed, a little agitated. I shook my head and he looked at me, confused.

"Causing mayhem does not constitute blowing off steam." I said a little exasperated.

"For the Marauders, it does. We haven't done anything to stir up the student population. I'm starting to think that everyone think that the Marauders have stopped pranking. We need to remind them that we're still here." Sirius said with conviction.

I sighed again. He had been making such improvements. But some things will never change.

"We haven't been pulling pranks because we have been trying not to draw attention to ourselves." I said, my voice strained.

"I think we've proven tonight that we have been pretty unsuccessful at not drawing attention to ourselves." Sirius half mumbled.

I took a deep breath, trying not to fly off the handle. He was completely right, of course, but that didn't mean that it didn't make me angry.

"I can't help but to agree with Sirius." James said suddenly.

All of our gazes snapped to him.

"When we were pulling pranks, no one dared to get in our way. People could see that we were powerful, and didn't want to mess with us. Now people think that we've become lazy or our magical advancement has halted. We need to let them know that we're capable of kicking their arses and that we aren't to be messed with." James explained calmly.

All of us paused and looked at him. He had a point, but we still hesitated.

"Can it not involve the ball? I would love to have one night of revelry where I don't have to worry about getting pranked." Lily sighed exasperatedly after a few moments.

Sirius and James beamed, but my jaw dropped.

"I'm not saying that I want to be a part of it, I'm just calling for some ground rules. Not during the ball, and don't target anyone specifically. The last thing we need is someone with a vendetta." Lily added quickly.

"Done and done. Come on, Prongs. We've got planning to do." Sirius said, jumping up from his chair.

James and Sirius raced up the stairs. Peter quickly followed, calling for James and Sirius to wait for him. I sighed and sat down in the plush arm chair Sirius had just vacated.

"You okay?" Lily asked, concerned.

"Yeah, just tired. Today has been a long one." I said with a small smile.

"So do you want to tell me what the scene earlier was about?" Remus said a little pointedly.

Lily and I sighed in unison.

"We told you; when we know something, you'll know something." I said, my voice tired like my body.

"Are you okay? Like physically?" Remus pressed, looking at me sternly.

I looked at him; all of his scars had aged him prematurely. I couldn't help but wonder how many of those scars were given to him by one of us.

"I think so." I said after a long pause.

Remus pursed his lips but let it go. I stood and excused myself to go to bed. I was glad that we weren't going to have trainings anymore. Maybe now I could get the rest I knew my body craved.


End file.
